Signed off after m/c???

[abbyw]

Hi all,

I'm new here - hadn't yet gotten my head round being pregnant but have come back to earth with a thud this week and needed a place to talk I guess among others who have gone through similar.

I have fallen pregnant on the pill, so not sure when I ovulated or conceived, but my first BFP, with a clearblue digital was on 28/7/11 and it said 1-2 weeks. A huge shock, but we were coming to grips with it and starting to plan our happy accident's arrival.....

Last week, I had some pain and went to the EPC for a check up, but the scan showed a 6-week sac with nothing in it - songrapher said it was a failed pregnancy, but that I was to 'early' to have medical management or a D&C but to come back this week for a further check and get the D&C.

My doctor signed me off for this week as I have not told work what has been going on but all the medical staff I had spoken with recommended I take the week after the d&c off to recover, emotionally more than anything etc. so my GP signed me off for this week (I work for one of those shite companies where they demand evidence for everything and also doc you pay if off sick for more than 5 days a year - I already had a bout of tonsilitis in January and was off for a week so am stuffed!). Anyway, it has been a hard week's wait, but today at least I knew it would be over with and my OH and I could grieve and deal with it together and personally and move on.

Anyway, I went for a second scan today to confirm things, and once again, the sac looks empty and size is 7 weeks. I have had no m/c symptoms and still very much have pg symptoms but guess that's the hcg..... anyway, the sonographer then tells me that although she is 95% sure it's a failed pregnancy, the sac size is not yet officially big enough to declare it so (sac was 16mm I think), and that a d&c would have to wait for at least anther week! They have booked me in for Sept 1st at which time they will 'definitely' declare the failed pregnancy and give me a d&c.

Has anyone else experienced this?

The only word I can describe how I feel at the moment is tortured.

I feel like a bit of an emotional wreck today - I explained to the midwife nurse that I was signed off for the week and what should I do as now I need to have time off in the future but I'm worried this will all raise more questions with my employer than anything - I am a very private person, and just do not want to discuss this with the people I work with, especially my manager who is new and I just don't know her very well. But the nurse seemed surprised that I would even consider going back to work until things were all resolved - she said I needed to rest and try to relax and just think of myself as what I was experiencing was pretty traumatic, to be coming back week after week etc and that life is pretty much on hold right now. She advised me to go back to my GP and get signed off for at least another week, so until at least after the appointment on the 1st and treatment etc. but is this something my GP would do???

I'm a bit of a wreck and really don't feel I can be in work at the moment, but I feel like a fraud asking my GP to help when I don't even have a 100% answer for at least another week.

Has anyone else been through something like this? Did your GP sign you off work? I hate being off work because I worry it looks slack more than anything, especially when no one knows what is happening, but I don't know what to do - turn up at my desk and cry for the next week or stay off for longer??

Abby xx

 

[dyscochick]

Hun you are NOT a fraud if you go to the GP for help on this. If you can't cope with back to work (perfectly understandable) then don't! The GP should understand and me more than able to provide you with documentation. My situations wasn't exactly the same as i had a scan at 11 weeks with no heartbeat so i immediately opted for a medical management. I guess the problem is that if its too early to be 100% sure of anything they have to let you wait it out, which seems barbaric. I have to tell you that i had pg symptoms right up until the medical management and my baby measured 8 weeks. Its awful and my heart goes out to you sweetheart. If Kanga comes online she might be able to offer some help as I thnk she went through something similar.
Big hugs hun , and do come and chat if you need to you, you can always pm too if you need
xxxxx

 

[Hope81]

i was made to wait around 2 weeks first to recheck the ultrasound and then to check hormonal levels. i worked meantime...short of as i was just unable to concentrate anyway and then i got my normal vacation days after d&c and i stayed home for 1 month. it took me 1 week to feel ok physically after d&c, 2 weeks to stop bleeding. emotionally i felt ok since d&C, i was a wreck those 2 weeks before the d&C waiting to see what will happen.
now i think i should have been able to go back to work in 2-3 days and i would rather have stayed home those 2 weeks before d&C....i was having pregnancy symptoms all the way even 2 days after the surgery.

but everyone is different and if you feel like staying home then do it. for me the surgery was like a closure, happy to move and try again. other people feel sad and grieve for long time after a mc. i dont think there is a right or wrong reaction to this.

 

[kanga86]

So sorry to hear u are going through this
Like dysco said I did go through something similar, I had a scan at 11weeks due to having some bleeding at the scan it showed a sac measuring 5 weeks. I was told I probably will miscarry which seemed obvious to me be ause of my dates and positive tests. I was told I had to come back a week later to just double check. So at my second scan they saw a yolk sac as well, but even then the growth wasn't enough for a whole week, so was told again I would miscarry. They also said because there was change between the to scans I ad to have another a week later.

2 days after my second scan I miscarried naturally at home. Went for my scan 4 days after the mc, the scan showed a small bit of the pregnancy sac remained but they weren't worried as I was bleeding still. I have had to scan since then too will the latest being today. I still have some tissue remaining 7 and a half weeks after my mc, so the time since being told has been 9 weeks!

As for being signed off I was signed twice by the epau at the hospital for a week each ( mc in the second week). I then got a sick note from the doctors for a 3rd week and I didn't even have to see the doc, just collected the note from reception. I wouldn't go back until u have some answers as ur emotions are all over the place and work isn't the best place to be. I really hope u get some answers when u go back next week xx

 

[abbyw]

Thank for all your comments - I feel in a bit of a bubble. Like this isn't happening? I swore I felt really bad cramps earlier, but as son as my OH said maybe it was psychosomatic after being told I will at some point mc, they stopped......

I'm very confused and it's so much harder to get my head round than I would ever have imagined - my OH is a very frank and laidback guy, and so as much as he is being totally lovely and supportive, it's very much like 'okay, well, there we are then, that's that....' but I guess guys can find it a lot easier to switch off when it's not their body etc.

I suppose because it was an unplanned pregnancy, in many ways, I feel like the grief should be less....or that I don't have the right to be as sad as others who have planned their babies, but it isn't

xxxx

 

[Sunbeam638]

Hi Abby, I found out today I have had an mc, I'm between 10-12 weeks my scan was 17mm should be 26mm there is an abnormal shaped sac nothing in there. Because the size is less than 26mm they won't classify it as miscarriage until my scan next Tuesday which ironically is the same date and time as my 12 week but in a different unit. If I dont pass it naturally I can go for assisted mc but they wouldn't give it today because they said it was too early.

Reading the other posts it can be a long process and a sad one and an unexpected pregnancy is no less loved than a planned on so don't think you should feel less sad about your loss than anyone else.

I'm sad but grateful its happened now and not further down the line but I've still had a good cry and I can't go into work as my hcg is still high so I'm too emotional at the moment. Big hugs to you xxx

 

[dyscochick]

Mine was unplanned and the grief is just as real. A different kind of sadness maybe, but it hurts just as bad. So many hugs Hun xxxx

 

[dyscochick]

Huge hugs and all my thoughts with you too sunbeam. Xxxx

 

[Sunbeam638]

Thanks dyso I feel like a Raggy doll today!

I forgot to say I'm signed off and working from my blackberry. I think my crying episodes dont create a happy working atmosphere for anyone including me. my other half is full of positivity and whenever I whinge I get "think of the children in Sudan!" but as much as I want to poke him in the eye he has a point. Today he didn't mention the third world countries but he did give me alot of reassurance by saying we got pg which means it will happen again! It will for all of us ladies

Ah hugs to all the ladies in here. Night xxx

 

[abbyw]

Hi all,

I've been thinking of the children of Sudan all day Sunbeam! It does help - although I forgot all about that when I got to the doctors surgery and burst into tears in my poor GPs office. He signed me off for 3 weeks - he said so I have time if they keep telling me to come back next week, come back next week etc.....

So, I'm feeling better that I don't have to worry about miscarrying naturally at work but now I'm scared about telling work. I've never had to tell work I've been signed off sick before - how do I do that? Do I just phone my manager? I haven't even told them I'm pregnant - well, was pregnant...... xxx

 

[kanga86]

My work already knew about my pregnancy so after I was told I would mc I went to work and sat down with my boss and explained everything. They were extremely supportive through the whole thing, and I was glad to be at home and not worry about having to go in. I then went in with my sick note after each scan at the epau as I was only given one week each time.

Do u have a good relationship with ur manager? U could phone them and explain but u will need to hand in the sick note at some point so the can sort out ur statutory sick pay. Xx