Should I be upset that my bubs deformaties were'nt picked up?

Long story short. We just had a beautiful baby boy 6 weeks premature. He was born with DiGeorge syndrome, ie 22q deletion syndrome. When he was born he had Talipes of the wrist and feet ie Clubfoot and Clubhand. He's missing his radius bone in his arm and missing his thumb. He also has a heart condition known as Tetralogy of Fallow which includes having a hole in the middle of his heart. He has an extra rib and some hemi-vertebra's in his spine.

Now my best friend is quite alternative and didn't have an obstetrician or do any scans and had a home birth to a perfectly healthy girl. Im not like my friend though. I wanted the best obstetrician to do as many scans and tests as possible to give me the best chance at having a healthy baby. So we got the most expensive most recommended obstetrician we could find.

As we lost our last baby at 20 weeks, we wanted to get scanned more often than normal to which we did. My wife also had gestational diabetes which meant she had to be closely monitored. So she was scanned every 3 weeks and even had a 3d scan at 32 weeks I think. Our obstetrician did all the internal and external scans himself and didn't pick up any of these problems the whole way through. He never referred us to get scanned at a proper Radiography Clinic neither.

We went through IVF with him to which I find out now that they can pre-test the eggs for chromosomal problems before they implant. You can also get a blood test for DiGeorge syndrome to which he never informed us about.

So I don't know if I should be upset with our obstetrician or whether all these things aren't that easily picked up. Im definitely angry with myself to the point of anxiety and depression.

Would just love to hear someone else's opinion or if anyone else has been through this similar situation.

Thanks
Todd