Should he be asking me to meet his son ?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Flower10, Jan 21, 2016.

  1. Flower10

    Flower10 Member

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    Hi ladies.

    I'm in a relationship with someone who i'm head over heels in love with.

    I just have a few concerns

    We have been together nearly 3 months. We are official !

    He has his son full time as his ex is just a pisshead excuse my language 🙊
    She lets his son down all the time so i understand he is very protective over him and that he is a great dad.

    He tells me he loves me and that he has been missing me this week whilst he has been working nights. He always comes to mine and we go out socially together but only to pub lol he has never actually asked to take me on a date but i understand money is tight with just getting over the christmas period.
    He has only started recently asking me to go down to his when his child isn't there, but i've declined on two occasions as i don't want to be easy accessible to him seeing as though its always on his terms when we meet. I mentioned the other day about meeting his son, gradually just as a friend! And he said he doesn't introduce to his son but he's not saying at all and will eventually. I didn't say anything!

    He is meeting my family this sunday as its my grandads 90th and he seems really excited about it. But the thing is he has not mentioned me meeting his?!

    He also told me after our meal he couldn't stay at mine cos he has his son.

    He is 10 years older than me so maybe set in his ways. But surely i deserve to know where i stand and where this is going ? What do you think i should do? Its making me feel crap cos i do love him. I've been understanding and give him space so it's not as though i nag.
     
  2. scn

    scn Well-Known Member

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    I wouldn't worry at this stage about meeting his son to be honest, he's only doing what he thinks is in his sons best interests. I met my now stepchildren when we had been together around 6 months and we done it very gradually just very now and then going out for food and to the cinema etc we then built up to when he had them for the weekend they would all stay at mine instead of his (I had a two bedroom, his was only 1 bedroom so we couldn't all stay at his together).
    I think you also have to understand that yes you may only meet when it suits him but he's got to work around his son who will always be his priority. I understand how you feel, it's very difficult in the early days getting your head around not being his number 1 and feeling pushed aside if something comes up with the kid(s) but it's not because you don't matter. It would have upset me if my husband had let his kids down so as not to upset me even though I would get upset at being let down sometimes!!!
     
  3. El1en

    El1en Well-Known Member

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    I don't think you should be trying to meet his son at this point. I think it's great he's taking precaution and waiting. I know friends who have split and agreed if they meet anyone they need to wait at least 6 months before anyone meets their child which I think is good. I know your head over heels which is lovely but three months isn't a very long time to be in a relationship.

    And in my opinion of course you have to work around him and his son, he is and should always put his son first
     
  4. Flower10

    Flower10 Member

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    Thanks for your advise guys! I do agree with you! I haven't asked to meet his son just yet, but would be nice for him to ask me to meet his parents seeing as though he's met my family. But we will see xx
     

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