Sex life failure - help! :(

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by i.love, Jan 29, 2012.

  1. i.love

    i.love Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2011
    Messages:
    3,924
    Likes Received:
    0
    My sex life after giving birth has been an absolute failure so far :(

    First, I have near to zero sex drive. I jut can't be bothered. But for my husbands sake I tried to make an effort a couple of times.

    First time was about a month after giving birth. It hurt, so we thought it was too early and stopped.

    Second time was last week. I was so dry and tight, my husband couldn't even get in. I tried to relax, but it just hurt like hell. Luckily lo woke up and rescued me from the torture.

    Last night we tried again, this time using some lube, but it hardly made any difference. *I just was so tight! My oh just about managed to get in, but his any movement was really painful for me. I couldn't wait for it to e over.

    What's going on? :( it has been almost 3 month after I gave birth. I had a second degree tear, but it must have healed ages ago. It just feels like they stitched me up way too tight. Is this possible? Or maybe I lost elasticity down below?...

    Don't really know what to do :( what if I'll stay like this? I'm starting to worry that this non-existent sex life might put my marriage at risk. My husband is very understanding and is not pressuring me, but, like any man, he needs sex. And I just can't seem to be able to give it to him anymore :( :( :(

    Help! I'm starting to panic :(
     
    #1 i.love, Jan 29, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2012
  2. pinkyprincess

    pinkyprincess Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2010
    Messages:
    10,660
    Likes Received:
    0
    Really didn't want to read and run! Is it worth going to the doctor?


     
  3. leannesxb

    leannesxb Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2011
    Messages:
    2,600
    Likes Received:
    0
    don't know what advice to give hun. Maybe seeing the doc is a good idea. I do know the more stressed and anxious you get over it the less chance of it happening as you clench up and will psychologically make yourself more tense and tight. Maybe try other things first and go very slow. It doesn't have to be about the actual intercourse yet. xxx
     
  4. pinkymum

    pinkymum Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2010
    Messages:
    7,447
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think it sounds like you're really getting worked up before you dtd. Maybe that's why it's been difficult? Trying to think of ways you can be more relaxed. Maybe more foreplay? Or doing something that really turns you on?
     
  5. Hope81

    Hope81 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 25, 2011
    Messages:
    8,721
    Likes Received:
    0
    Try some alternative methods for a while like oral sex, finger stimulation etc etc. it dosent have to be penetration every time. I am 100 % sure it will go away when you will start relaxing and enjoying it, and also some more practice maybe.use lube and loads and loads of foreplay
     
  6. positivity :)

    positivity :) Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2010
    Messages:
    8,742
    Likes Received:
    0
    At my hospital the physio dept say u can go in at anytime to discuss this sort of thing and they will help with it, might be worth asking at Ur hospital?! Xx
     
  7. Maria1977

    Maria1977 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2010
    Messages:
    5,272
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hun our local hospital is always stitching girls back up too tight. Lost count of the amount of girls hAving to go be sorted. Defo spk to gp coz they can fix it if that is whats happened xxx
     
  8. ForestLas80

    ForestLas80 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2011
    Messages:
    1,699
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hun I really feel for you as this has kind of happened to me to. We DTD a few weeks ago and it hurt a lot afterwards so I said no more for a couple of weeks. He asked the other day and I said I don't want full on sex as I'm worried it'll hurt but can we do other things and not that? It ended up being that foreplay did enough for me to relax and get back into the swing of things to then want the full macoy. Maybe worth having "fun" without full on DTD and move up to it later when more relaxed? Good luck honey, it is so weird after having a baby getting back into the swing of things there xxx
     
  9. Laura_C

    Laura_C Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2010
    Messages:
    2,326
    Likes Received:
    0
    Have you tried using some lube? X
     
  10. i.love

    i.love Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2011
    Messages:
    3,924
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks girls for your replies.

    Laura, yes, we did last night, but it didn't seem to make much difference.

    Maria1977 oh right, so such things really do happen? That's good to know! Because if this is the problem, then it can be sorted!

    I think I'll give it a couple more tries. Maybe will watch some naughty tv, it usually helps to turn me on, and will try more foreplay. If it still doesn't work, I'll talk to a gp.

    Thanks for your support xx
     
  11. knopk@

    [email protected] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2011
    Messages:
    8,058
    Likes Received:
    0
    I only had epidiotomy, no tears but they stitched me up so tight it was like in a famous Madonna song.
    Definitely long foreplay and lube but if it doesnt help, see a doctor.
    I am the opposite, my sex drive is back but we only manage 1-2 times a week, not much time with lo:(

    sent from my Galaxy s2
     
  12. prettypenguin

    prettypenguin Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2011
    Messages:
    1,857
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hope you get things sorted soon hun, i had a tear and not been in the mood for sex, but did last week as felt sorry for oh, my god i felt like a virgin all over again!! Im eure it was a REAL turn on seeing my face all scrunched up in pain like this >:S haha. But we got there in tge end, I do feel for you though hun, hope it gets sorted soon xxx
     
  13. i.love

    i.love Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2011
    Messages:
    3,924
    Likes Received:
    0
    Prettypenguin yeah I felt sorry for my oh too. I kept moaning (not from pleasure), and he kept stopping and asking if I am ok. Such a turn off!

    Knopka, its definitely hard to find time for it! We wanted to try again today, I put lo to sleep, we started kissing etc, I was actually getting quite horny, and right when things got serious... Guess what... Lo started crying! I don't know how he does it, but he always starts crying when we are nearly there. He clearly doesn't want a brother or a siter lol. Best method of contraception - crying baby!
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice