Seems ok.. But what about the future?

[Momma`Kat]

Ok, This is tricky to explain but I will try..

Me and Mark(Hubby) started trying to have this baby last october-ish. We were living together and happy as larry. In April I got my BFP and thats when it went downhill.

As soon as I told Mark I was pregnant, He announced he had been sleeping with someone else since november and that she was pregnant aswell. He is now living with the other woman who is due 24th Aug with his son, Leaving me living alone, and only seeing him once or twice a week, And usually in the company of the other woman. I have made peace with the situation at the moment, And I am even sitting on the fence of trying to be friends with the woman.. But it leaves the future rather complicated.

Mark has said that he is going to stay with hannah, and he has said that when I move (waiting on OUR house to finish being built) he will move back to live with me. So I dont know if he is going to be around for OUR baby. He wont say one way or another if he wants to be put ont he birth certificate, or if he wants it to have his surname, he refused outright to come to the booking in appt even though he has been to all of hannah's midwife appts and scans.

He also refuses to come to our apartment to see me, I have to go to his and hannahs, and try and get things sorted while hannah is around, Or stay the night on their couch and talk properly when hannah has gone to bed.

He says he loves me and cares about me and wants to look after this baby.. But nothing he is doing reflects that..

The other thing I have been thinking about is when the baby is born.. If he isnt living with me.. getting child support from him. I dont want to be seen as the big bitch taking his and hannah's money , but he has a responsibility and refuses to even acknowledge that the issue exists.

Thoughts?

 

[Rosie's Mummy]

How can he say he loves you whilst living with another woman who is pregnant by him, when he hasnt committed to your pregnancy or talked about his child with you?! THis must be such an awful position to be in but I would be shutting him out of my life.

 

[emz1980]

I think u are taking the situation reali well!!! I would be fuming, I don't reali know what to suggest, he needs to start making sum choices and not leave u in the unknown!! I split with my husband 2 years ago and we cant talk without arguing so u r a better woman than me xxx big hugs hun, what an awful situation to be in xxx

 

[MrsR]

Big hugs x x you're a much better, stronger person than me! x so he's living with the 'other woman' until you move into 'your' house after it's built and then he's going to come back and live with you? Tbh I wouldn't be letting him move in with me. I'd sell the house and live seperatly. It sounds like he's having his cake and eating it too! x Is he sleeping in the same bed with Hannah? Is he telling her he lives her etc? I'd let him be there for the baby but that's as far as my relationship would go with him as I wouldn't be able to forgive or trust him ever again. I think he needs to make some big changes and start getting involved in your baby's life as well as his other baby's life. x x I hope you can sort something out honey x x

 

[Momma`Kat]

How can he say he loves you whilst living with another woman who is pregnant by him, when he hasnt committed to your pregnancy or talked about his child with you?! THis must be such an awful position to be in but I would be shutting him out of my life.

I asked him that exact question the other week, His reply was this -

"Big Guy, Big Feet, Big Dick, Big Heart, Anyway how can you sleep with your friends boyfriend?" (Meaning him.)

I just gave up on the conversation. Didnt have the energy for a row.

 

[Momma`Kat]

Big hugs x x you're a much better, stronger person than me! x so he's living with the 'other woman' until you move into 'your' house after it's built and then he's going to come back and live with you? Tbh I wouldn't be letting him move in with me. I'd sell the house and live seperatly. It sounds like he's having his cake and eating it too! x Is he sleeping in the same bed with Hannah? Is he telling her he lives her etc? I'd let him be there for the baby but that's as far as my relationship would go with him as I wouldn't be able to forgive or trust him ever again. I think he needs to make some big changes and start getting involved in your baby's life as well as his other baby's life. x x I hope you can sort something out honey x x

He is living with the Hannah at the moment, And has given contradicting answers about moving. Some days he says he is coming back to me, some days he says he is staying with hannah. And yeah he sleeps in her bed and tells her he loves her and shit , right infront of me i might add.

I guess I am still hanging onto the thought that before he moved to hannahs.. It was perfect. There was seriously nothing wrong in our relationship even while both of us were inbetween jobs and struggling with money and family, we never fought , we just worked together and fixed it.

 

[MrsR]

Aw honey x x it must be so hard for you x I'd just try and get on with my life with my baby x keep in touch with him for the baby's sake and let him know that he can be involved in baby's life but I'd draw the line there. He can't tell her he loves her, live with her and sleep with her whilst telling you the same thing. You're going to get seriously hurt the longer this goes on for. I'd suggest taking some time away from them both, keep it friendly and work out what you want for yourself and your baby.

 

[serenitylove]

im gona be blunt but i think he is keeping you as a backup incase it isnt all happy days with the new woman id not keep in such close contact with him your worth much more than being treated like this if he wanted you he would be with you id sit back let her have him and wait for your little bundle to arrive then find yourself osmeone who truely wants you xxx

 

[Emmamb]

Sorry ur havin to go thru all this momma kat,I know how hard it is, my hubby had an affair last year...luckily I wasn't pregnant at the time. We split for about 2 months,after 2 weeks he asked me if it was too late to try again,as soon as I said that it was and I'd found someone else I felt like I had the upper hand,I refused to let him have his cake and eat it,he'd been serin the other woman for a few weeks,but had been tellin her a crock of shit about how our marriage was over and we just lived together for the kids sake (tosser) I turned the tables on him and whilst we was split I began seein some1 else who my hubby had to b nice to!!! Think he finally realised what he'd lost and as soon as he heard if split from rob (other guy) he was back wiv his tail between his legs askin me out on a date!! He moved back in just b4 Xmas and were happier than ever I know I've rambled on a bit but don't let him think he can have u whenever he wants,make yourself unavailable xx

 

[vixforever]

So sorry you're going through this hun x

 

[diddydons]

oh hun, I really feel for you. It seems really confusing and I think you are dealing with it very well. I think hes a waste of space though and he is playing around with both of you x x

 

[ema-lou24]

i dont wanna be the nasty one here but WHY?? why are you doing this? i know u love him and hes the father of your baby etc, but hes taking the pure piss out of you!

DONT stay over at the woman hes sleeping with's house....WRONG!
DONT continue sleeping with him
MOVE on and he will soon come sunning back if thats what you want...but he wont if hes getting best of both worlds.

My ex cheated on me...hes still an ex. im against cheaters sooo much, look up 2 people who can forgive and forget etc, but not my style
To me its the most dirtyest and horrid way to treat someone your supposed to love, and by him doing this, he isnt exactly showing he loves you or respecting you and your child....hes taking the piss.

Sorry hun x

 

[ERIN84]

Sorry but I have to agree with ema - lou. He is being a complete idiot and it seems like he is keeping you as a back up plan. Why do you sleep at the place they are living together? that semms very strange to me?

It doesnt matter what anyone says though only you know how you feel about it. Hope you manage to get things sorted xxx

 

[isobel84]

oh hun.. i would say leave hm to get on with hannah.. he aint worth the time of the day. He and she are both aware of your pregnancy so leave it up to him if he want to be involved but for god sake, dont listen to all that crap. Move on without him! He is playing with you. You deserve better. Tell him he is more then welcome in your child life but not in yours! BE STRONG
XXX

 

[NicciLove]

OMG i really admire your strength, i could never put up with that.

I have to agree with Emma-lou though as hard as it is to let go of someone you love, he is having his cake and eating it! I cant believe you or Hannah is putting up with that crap.

Why do men seriously think they can treat women like this???? It makes me so mad!!

You and your LO deserve soooo much better xxxxx

 

[Annie050408]

Oh my God that is really shocking behaviiour you poor thing I can't imagine what you are going through and I hope you have the support of your friends and family. I would personally have as little to do with him as possible and try to move on with your new baby and start a new life for yourself without him. Sounds like Hannah only has a matter of time to wait until she is in the same boat as you are now hon.

 

[Princess81]

Oh how awful he is treating you like a doormat hun, I'm so sorry to say it but it's true. You deserve so much more than to just wait to see if he comes crawling back. He's going to have ties to hannah for ever now too with this other baby on the way, how will you ever be able to trust him to be in her presence as regards the child when you know what they did together behiind your back?

You are being very rational about this but maybe you are in shock or it hasn't sunk in properly yet? I certainly wouldn't stay over at their shared home on the sofa whilst you wait. Sounds like he's treating hannah the same though.

I feel so sorry for you and know that you will have the strength to do what is best. Fair play to you if you decide you want to make it work, however if he can treat you like this now what's so say he won't do it again? I know people do change and some do deserve a second chance (though I'd be showing him the bloody door) but the fact that he's treated you with such blatant dis-regard and is keeping you strung-along it doesn't bode well for his future actions.

I'd sell the house you are building and tell him to do one sweets xx

 

[ema-lou24]

how the hell is hannah feeling about you sleeping on the couch and still having sex with you??

i think you and hannah could become good friends here when you both finally see what hes up too.

be strong hun, both you ladies deserve better xx

 

[Tonks]

My advice is not to let him anywhere near the birth certificate and do not let your child have his surname. You may feel like you should, but don't. You can always change the babies name to his in future, but you cannot get your babies name changed back to yours without his written permission.

 

[Rosie's Mummy]

Hmmm and seriously consider not having sex with him hun!