second loss, 20 weeks

Discussion in 'Coping with Miscarriage & Loss' started by claire5439, Feb 9, 2012.

  1. claire5439

    claire5439 Member

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    I lost my first baby last june at 22 weeks. Became pregnant in September for the second time. I told myself they wouldnt let it happen again, or would do everything they could to save my baby this time. After having a cervical length scan at 16 weeks, my consultant told me i was at no more risk of losing this baby than any other "normal" pregnant woman.
    At 19+3 after bleeding, they discovered my cervix had completely opened, and said that i would have a miscarriage soon. 24 hours passed and nothing happened, i was in hospital, no pain no more bleeding. I could feel my baby kicking and moving, and just thought how cruel it was to be told that, but still be able to feel him move.
    The next day the consultant i saw at the scan said they could try and put an emergency stitch in to close my cervix, it didnt work. But i could still feel him moving so i stayed positive, and kept my bed at an angle to take pressure off my cervix.
    A few days later i knew it was over. I hadnt felt him move all day. I got up to go toilet and i started bleeding quite heavily, i started having contractions, and my waters went. But then the contractions stopped. this was about 11pm. over night my temperature started to go up. Turns out i went sceptic. I had my little boy at 9.50 the next morning. But then had to go down for an emergency D&C because they couldnt deliver the placenta.
    I lost 2L of blood during the D&C, and nearly had to have a blood transfusion, thankfully i didnt have to have that done. Eventually we got time to spend with our little boy after a 3 hour operation.
    With everything thats happened i just dont know how i feel. im devastated of course. but i still wasnt over losing my first baby, and now this has happened. the only thing that was getting me through losing faye was being pregnant again.
    I just feel like me, my family and most of all my two babies have been totally let down by the doctors who told me it would all be ok.
     
  2. Nurse 26

    Nurse 26 Well-Known Member

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    Oh my goodness, so sorry for what you have been through, as if going through that once wasnt enough

    thinking of you :hugs: xxxxxx
     
  3. dyscochick

    dyscochick Well-Known Member

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    Oh claire that is so terribly heartbreaking I don't know what to say. I can see completely how you feel let down by the medical people around you, that it should happen once must be devastating but twice is inconceivable. I'm so so sorry for your losses but words really don't seem to be enough. :hug:
     
  4. Laura_C

    Laura_C Well-Known Member

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    Oh honey, I'm so so sorry :hugs:

    I lost my baby boy at 30 weeks gestation, he managed a live birth but we lost him 2 days later :( I cant even begin to imagine losing a second baby at such a stage. If you ever need a chat/rant whatever just PM me anytime :hugs:

    I too felt and still feel very let down be the medical professionals that took care of us, I'm still considering taking action actually. I have discussed me concerns with a number of other professionals who agree there was negligence in my case. I'm just having difficulty as I don't really want to drag the whole thing back up but I feel if it prevents this happening to someone else then its well worth it.

    Take care xxxx
     
    #4 Laura_C, Feb 9, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2012
  5. netty

    netty Well-Known Member

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    oh i am so so sorry hun :hugs: i dont know what else to say you must be devastated, i think you have been so let down and should look into why your cervix wasnt stitched in the first place :-(
     
  6. Hope81

    Hope81 Well-Known Member

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    Oh GOd how awful :( I hope you will find the strength to get through this.
     
  7. Emmalina

    Emmalina Well-Known Member

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    Oh Claire :hugs: what a heartbreaking situation for you I am so sorry for your losses. Thinking of you and annoyed with the doctors for not helping you more.

    I just dont know what to say but please try and be strong :hugs: xxxx
     
  8. Sunbeam638

    Sunbeam638 Well-Known Member

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    I'm truly sorry to read your story, what a terrible thing to go through. I really hope you get through this xxx
     
  9. MrsCow

    MrsCow Well-Known Member

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    Am so sorry, sending lots of hugs, poor lady xxxxxx Thinking of you xxxx
     
  10. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    Gosh Claire - you poor, poor lady

    I hope and pray that if you do decide to try again the NHS go above and beyond the call of duty to keep you and your bub safe.

    Once is heartbreaking but twice is just too awful for words.

    Keep strong

    xxxxxxxxxx
     
  11. cosmicgirl

    cosmicgirl Well-Known Member

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  12. MissJuly10

    MissJuly10 Well-Known Member

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    I'm so sorry for what you've been through. :hugs: x x
     
  13. rachel50

    rachel50 New Member

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    I am so sorry to hear of your pain and sadness you have went through, I myself have had two miscarriages but both under 6 weeks and in a way I was always thinking it was easier that way than to go on and get more attached if that was no doubt going to happen. My friend went full term and found out when she was in labour at 9 months the baby had passed and I felt so sorry for her.. no words can ease or help the way you are feeling but I know eventually you will get stronger and those scars will mend. Sometimes god isnt fair to those who have been through enough.

    Take care xxx
     
  14. mishi

    mishi Well-Known Member

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    I'm so terribly sorry hon, cannot imagine what your going through, but hope you get all the love and support you need.x :hugs:
     
  15. MrsL84

    MrsL84 Well-Known Member

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    Claire I am so sorry for both of your losses!! Once is enough for anybody to have to go through!! Really hope you find the strength and support to get through. Speaking for experience,my little girl was stillborn at 24 weeks in September, after your first loss did your consultant not put a plan of care in place,I was led to believe this is offered to ladies who suffer 2nd timester loss? I have mine in
    Place for next pregnancy, like you,cervical length scans every 2 weeks from bfp and stitch at 12-14, I'm so upset for you that this doesn't seem to be the case for you,these hospitals play god with ours and our babies lives. Sorry for long post just so so sad for you!!
    Feel free to pm me for anything if you want ,xxx
     
  16. claire5439

    claire5439 Member

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    they said to me id have scans every two weeks as well. but when i had my first scan the consultant said to me my cervix was extra long and i wouldntneed anymore scans because its not my cervix. with my first baby, i had proper contractions, and they said that isnt signs of an imcompetent cervix, but they found bleeding behind the placenta which was to blame for my loss.
    I know at 16 weeks my cervix was ok, and i understand why they didnt put a stitch in then, i just wanted another scan at 18 weeks.
    we had even booked in for a private scan at 20+3 weeks, but we were a week or so too late, because my cervix had gone.
    I find it difficult to talk about because everything is so messed up. i only lost faye last june and that was a nightmare.
    After i lost this baby all they could do was talk about when i get pregnant again. but i dont want to think about that, i just want my baby back, because i shouldnt have lost him. i can understand with my first baby, they didnt know it was going to happen, but they knew this time and still did nothing in my opinion.
     
  17. laurat

    laurat Well-Known Member

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    Im so sorry honey! Xxxx
     
  18. masonowen

    masonowen Well-Known Member

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    I am so very sorry to hear to this.:hugs:
     
  19. TeeUK

    TeeUK Well-Known Member

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    Just awful to go through this twice! I recently gave birth at 16 weeks and it has devastated me so I can somewhat understand how you feel.

    My friend kept losing her babies at late stages and after the third they finally put a stitch in before she got pregnant the forth time and she went on to have a healthy little girl....she should not have had to wait that long and lose so many.

    Insist they stitch it up before you try again...sending hugs and love xx
     
  20. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    I was thinking about you last night Tee....

    How are you holding up?

    What a cute piccie, which little pup is that? :)

    xxxxxxxxxx
     

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