Scary Parenthood

Discussion in 'Second Trimester' started by Tiny Sue, Oct 25, 2005.

?

Is the thought of parenthood scaring you?

  1. Yes

  2. No

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  1. Tiny Sue

    Tiny Sue Well-Known Member

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    hey guys...

    Just wondering how the rest of us are coping with the reality of the changes that are about to happen to us, to our bodies and minds, to our marriages, partnerships and lives.

    Is anyone scared by this? A friend once told me that "nothing changes when you get married, everything changes when you become a parent." Looking forward, I am wondering what our second wedding anniversary will be like with a baby in the house, whether we will find time to make love, whether we will be connected or if we will have grown apart, or will we be strangers, sleeping in the same bed and connected by that tiny life, but lost to each other.

    A little dramatic, perhaps. I know that there are many positives, but I'm a little worried about how my husband and I, having just gotten the hang of being husband and wife, will tackle this new challenge.

    How do you feel?

    Sue
     
  2. hels

    hels Well-Known Member

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    hi sue, i totally feel the same!!!
    my partner and i are getting married in july, baby is due feb, so its gonna be a crazy year, we promise each other we are going to be special together, and different from others. I love him with all my heart, but its so worrying! Saw a horrible TV programme last night "having a baby ruined my life"! my god, really didnt need to see that, had to turn over! I worry im going to be a rubbish mum!!
    keep smiling!!!! your not on your own, communication is the key (apparently! my collegue married 25yrs and still in love tells ,me!!)
     
  3. shamu

    shamu Well-Known Member

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    omg, i saw that show too!!! it was terrible!! - personally, i cant wait to be a parent and a family when baby arrives, but i'm trying to avoid the whole rose tinted specs too - yeah its gona be hard, but those people last night were awful!!!

    things will change when u have a baby, thats a certainty, but i'm hoping it will make us appreciate each other more when we do get a baby-free night and can go out as a couple now and again

    chin up girlies!! it'll be a fab adventure - life is what you make it!

    shamu x
     
  4. Kim

    Kim Well-Known Member

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    They shouldn't be allowed to put programmes on like that, scaring people. I've never for one minute doubted I am ready for this and there's no way on this earth I would ever regret becoming a mum. I'm not scared or nervous or anything, it just feels 'right' :D
     
  5. newbump

    newbump Well-Known Member

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    Im nervous about having my baby at home for the first night!! but im sooo excited and cant wait to hold my little one, yea my life is gonna change in a very big way, but im ready, and feel that me and oh will be just fine together! We havent been able to make love in over a month (not a common thing for us!!! lol) but we are still close because we both understand they reasons we cant!! we still tell each other how in love we are, been together 3 years now.

    But if i can say one other thing, IF you feel you do drift apart and no longer feel in love, first try to regain that spark, but if all fails, please please do not stay together for the sake of your child, your child will not benefit from it but grow to feel an enviroment of distance!

    Good luck to you all - being a mum is going to be amazing, i just know it!!

    Natalie x x
     
  6. Sarah W Baby Belly

    Sarah W Baby Belly Well-Known Member

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    I'm stearing clear of all that type of programme, as I am already finding it hard to believe that I am going to be a mum.

    (See virtually all of my recent posts about not being ready)

    If I did wear glasses they would be the least rose-tinted glasses of everyone. Sometimes I see the whole drama of becoming a mum a nightmare and I don't mind admitting it.

    Another thing. We decided a long time ago that we were only going to have one child and I cannot see that changing anytime soon. I will not be letting anyone change my mind about that.

    I also worry about sex as well. My DH has a lower sex drive than me anyway so we don't do it enough as it is and I just know that it will cause major arguments.

    Oh well, can't change my mind now!
     
  7. Tiny Sue

    Tiny Sue Well-Known Member

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    Hi guys...

    Just to say that I had a talk with DH and I think everything will be fine - It's just hormones talking. We worked stuff out, including a lot of things that had been bothering me lately.

    Kim, it must be great to be so certain about everything in your life - perhaps you should figure out how to bottle that, and put me down for a crate!

    Thanks for advice about staying/leaving Dh folks but I actually meant that I was worried about changes, not that I was going to leave my husband! As if! I love him too much for that. Just normal fears, I guess. Like before you jump into water from a long way up - it's a terrible feeling before hand, you wonder if you're going to make it or hit the bottom or even if you'll pass out before you jump - but once you jump, you have jumped.

    Sarah, you and I seem to think the same way. *HUG* I'll be here to talk to if you ever want to PM me, or we can email. I can safely say that I know how you are feeling.

    Thanks guys...

    All my love,

    Sue
     
  8. Tiny Sue

    Tiny Sue Well-Known Member

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    Hey -

    Re-reading that post made me aware that it sounded snotty and sarcastic...truly not my intention...sorry if I offended anyone. I dashed it off.

    Sue
     

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