Routine help

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by brand new, Jun 29, 2013.

  1. brand new

    brand new Well-Known Member

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    My lo is 13 weeks old, adjusted age of 8 weeks. The problem is no matter how hard I try I just cannot get himself to any kind of routine. Some days he feeds every 3 hrs and some days every 4/5 hrs. And then every nighttime is completely different. He wakes up at random times. I'm now starting to feel like a bad mummy bcos I read on here about 7/8 weeks old babies that are in a real set routine and I just can't do it. It makes me feel really terrible as tho I'm doing a bad job. He was 5 weeks premature and is on SMA prem 2 milk. He also has gaviscon for his silent reflux. Please tell me if there is anything I can do to rectify this ladies? Or please be honest and tell me what I'm doing wrong. Xxxx
     
  2. Gayle30

    Gayle30 Well-Known Member

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    Oh hun. I bery much doubt your doing anything at all wrong so please dont think that. Yoir baby was prem so thats bound to make a difference. Some people have been lucky with babys who settle into their own routine-me included. But I also know of some mums whos babes are 2 or 3 years old and still dont sleep through or feed when they should.

    Just follow LO's lead and I am sure one day it will just click.

    We started bath bottle and bed early and that helped. Also I got a ewan the dream sheep and she was put to bed with that each night so she was used to the same noises. As for feeding, well it was usually every 4 hours at that age but to be honeat feeding went to pot early on as my baby girl had severe reflux and I had a terrible struggle to get her to feed at all.

    Just wanted to say please dont worry xxx

    tapatalking
     
  3. Gayle30

    Gayle30 Well-Known Member

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    Sorry...my texting is worse than ever. I hope you follow. Please excuse the typos. Xx

    tapatalking
     
  4. Hope81

    Hope81 Well-Known Member

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    omg where did you read that one? i hate that pressure on new mums.

    your baby just came in this world and it had a tough time coming here earlier. there is nth that you can do to impose them a routine that early and nth that you do wrong.

    here is what we did and helped and we did get sort of routine that constantly and i mean constantly changed.

    i made sure we start the day at approximately same hour for us it was about 7.-730 (but i didnt start wakign her until she was 4 m old until then i just let her get on with it)
    i made sure i feed her every 3 h during the day to make sure i feel her enough, obviously if she wanted milk at 2 h she was getting it. i just meant that i was waking at 3 h to give her milk and then if she wanted she could sleep more.
    i actually rocked her to sleep up to 12 weeks when she decided to self settle.
    we have the ewan the sheep too and the fisher price seahorse she still sleeps with them.at 4 m we introduced a sleepy tot bunny and she sleeps cuddling it since then.
    i was putting her down for a nap 1.5 h after she woke during day time so feed were every 3 h, at your babys age she had feed, nap, activity, nap routine all day in cycles of 1.5 h ( i think that has a name EASY routine or sth similar)
    bedtime routine for us was bottle at 7, nap, wake for bottle at 10, short activity of 30 min, bottle and settle for the night then a feed at around usually 4-5

    thats all we did and we didnt get a set routine until 5-6 m old. she slept through at 4 m old (with a dream feed ) and without a dream feed since 6 m old.

    all babies are different, keep doign what you are doing, soon a routine will emerge, enjoy your little miracle right now, you are doing great mama
     
  5. tweetyfoo

    tweetyfoo Well-Known Member

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    Can only echo what the other girls have said

    I believe that it's better to follow baby's lead

    Aaron was prem too - but was in hospital for 4 weeks and they pretty much set his routine for us

    We started bath, bottle, bed at 8 weeks and everything else just fell into place eventually

    He's 9 months now and everytime I think I've cracked it he throws me a curve ball :lol:

    Have a sit down and a cuppa (or wine of allowed) and relax


    Tapatalking!
     
  6. Emamay

    Emamay Well-Known Member

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    When I was taking Cay from every two-hour feeds to four-hour, I did everything I could to distract him.

    So, his first bottle was 6am, meaning he was next eating at 8am. When 8am came and he started crying, I picked him up and took him somewhere else, another room or whatever and started talking to him about the colour of the walls, for example, singing songs and doing anything I could to shut him up for a while. As soon as distraction failed, and he was crying no matter what I did, I'd feed him.
    Then start all over again two hours later.
    It took two days to get him into a four-hour feed routine, at about eight weeks old, and he's never gone back. He has a bottle religiously now - one in the night around 2am, one at 10am, one at 2pm, and one at 6pm, although his night one has gone a bit wobbly 'cause he's on the verge of dropping it. Also, at nearly six months old he's also on three meals now, at 8am, 12 noon, and 4pm, but he was following the milk routine for a good two months before solids.

    I got in the habit of bedtime routine at the same time. After his 6pm bottle, he has a bath, a massage, and is PJ'd and in bed for 7pm.


    I hope there's something there you think might help.
    Ultimately, it's your baby, your life, your rules.
    Do what works for you, and ignore so-and-so's baby sleeping through at a week old. Baby's all develop differently.
    My friend and I had the same due day (her DD came 9 days early). Her DD slept through 6pm-5am from 7 weeks old. At nearly 6 months, Cay is just edging into dropping his night feed. On the other hand, he rolled a good two weeks earlier than her.
    Swings and roundabouts.



    If you want to try the distraction, the main thing to remember is that you're not going to go from two to four hours in one day. Distraction isn't cruel, if LO is happy again when you change activity, great :) As soon as unstoppable crying appears, feed. Even if you can push it by five minutes extra a feed, you're gonna get there eventually.
    You say LO has gone four hours before, so you know they can do it when they want to. Xx
     
  7. kat1988

    kat1988 Well-Known Member

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    stop worrying! you're doing fantastically! every baby is different, some will sleep through the night
    and settle into a routine at a few weeks old but most don't do this untill much later, my 4 year old cousin still doesn't sleep through the night!

    esp if your lo has silent reflux and is a preme it is likely to be a bit longer for them to settle into a routine, don't force any kind of routine on a baby as it just won't work then they will get upset and stressed and so will u

    the best advice any of use could give u is just to trust your instincts, look for your baby's cues and go with that

    if u really want to start a routine now, start with a very simple bedtime routine, for example, 6pm offer bottle, burp, wash, lullaby, but lo will find they're own routine in time

    xx
     
  8. brand new

    brand new Well-Known Member

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    Oh god ladies ty so much for the replies. I honestly felt like I wasn't doing a gd enough job. Every day I learn something new with jack and how to be a mummy!! I know he may always be behind five weeks due to him being prem but I think I just needed a bit of reassurance that I'm not a terrible mother.

    And that's why I love this forum for the support!! Ty xxx
     
  9. Emamay

    Emamay Well-Known Member

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    Cay was supposed to be grabbing things at, I think, around three months old?
    Now at five months, he's just got the hang of grasping stuff for himself.
    Not supposed to roll until about five months, Cay rolled at three months.

    Every baby is different, learns things in different ways at different times.

    When Cay was teeny, I wrote a post on here about being worried that Cay seemed to hate tummy time (as we all know, important for neck strength). Someone on here replied with "how many teenagers do you see carrying their heads around because they never learned to hold them up?"
    I figured this was an excellent point, and from that moment on, I stopped paying attention to what he should be doing when, and just let him discover things in his own time.

    As long as you do whatever you feel is right in your heart, you'll never be wrong.
    Motherhood (and fatherhood), is something you can only be taught the basics about from anyone else. Your child will teach you the rest xx
     
  10. clairebear22

    clairebear22 Well-Known Member

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    Jack had no routine what so ever until i started getting him into one at 6 months old. Harry put himself into a routine from 8 weeks. I was just getting used to his timings and he changed it again lol

    Every baby is so different, just go with the flow for a while and see if one appears. Just enjoy your LO xx
     
  11. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    Please try not to stress hun.

    We didn't even attempt to try any kind of routine until James was a few months, by this point I would know pretty much when he'd feed and we took it from there.

    However even the most 'routined' of babies will have off days, days when they are more or less hungry, days when they want more or less sleep. Also throw weaning and teething into the mix and the odd illness and most babies have regular upsets to their routine

    xxxxxx
     

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