I got some great news yesterday, that I don't need to return to work. I was going to go back for 4 months to make sure I got to keep all my maternity pay and get my holiday pay (my work pay above the required so it's in our contract they can claim it back if we don't return) but just found out a colleague who didn't return was given it all. So basically I can do the same.
Thing is I'm now feeling terribly guilty because I feel a bit sad I won't be going back for those four months I was going to. Kids would have had to have gone in private nursery 5 days a week so it's much better for them not to have to go through the stress of that. I just feel terribly guilty that I'm not ecstatic about this news. I was looking forward to a bit of a rest from being mummy 24/7 I guess. Not that I don't love being a mummy and not having to work but I guess I just wasn't mentally prepared for never going back! As we are planning to have another two babies in the next 4 years or so and I would need to look after them until free childcare places came up (I'm in Scotland) I could be looking at 6-7 years not working now and that just seems crazy! I'll love every minute of seeing them grow up I guess it just feels a bit daunting to rely on someone else (my partner) to pay all your bills all that time as well. Anyone else felt similar or am I just crazy? X
Thing is I'm now feeling terribly guilty because I feel a bit sad I won't be going back for those four months I was going to. Kids would have had to have gone in private nursery 5 days a week so it's much better for them not to have to go through the stress of that. I just feel terribly guilty that I'm not ecstatic about this news. I was looking forward to a bit of a rest from being mummy 24/7 I guess. Not that I don't love being a mummy and not having to work but I guess I just wasn't mentally prepared for never going back! As we are planning to have another two babies in the next 4 years or so and I would need to look after them until free childcare places came up (I'm in Scotland) I could be looking at 6-7 years not working now and that just seems crazy! I'll love every minute of seeing them grow up I guess it just feels a bit daunting to rely on someone else (my partner) to pay all your bills all that time as well. Anyone else felt similar or am I just crazy? X
but I agree about adult conversation and the ability to go to the toilet alone! My partner does a lot of extra freelance jobs so we can afford the things we want but it means he is often not in at the weekend too so I don't even get to chat to him then and I swear he does extra jobs that involve overnights so he can get a decent sleep lol x
