Returning to uni to finish midwifery training*UPDATE*

[EllieG]

I can not believe ten months has passed since I wrote this. My maternity leave has officially run out! I have to return in January or leave the course all together, I feel I have done too much hard work to get to this point, just to throw it away. I think my problem is really lack confidence, so need to work on that - anyone any ideas? have thought about going for hypnosis? All the oter problems too, such as child care and money, but I suppose they will always be there and once I have finished, I will have a life long qualifacation.
So....here goes....am bloody terrified arrrrgggghhhh


I have been so lucky and able to spend the best part of a year(by the time i am due to go back), with Freya. I am a student midwife and have completed almost 2 of the 3 year course, but everytime I think of leaving her it breaks my heart. On one hand I feel so lucky to be on the course as it is so difficult to get on and the spaces are few, but feel guilty on the other. I will be out of the house at least 40 hours a week, including nights, earlys and lates, thats not to mention the coursework. I qualify august 2009 if I go back and then could work part time, Freya would be just over 2 but it does mean 18 months of full time child care, which I am not sure I can afford.
The course is also really difficult and I struggle to go in to work sometimes, I love working in the community and have a fantastic mentor, but would cry before going on delivery suite as I was so worried about being incompetent, didnt know what I was walking into, and didnt always get on with the staff (some are lovely but there were a few cliques).
I am really struggling with my decsision but need to let the college know what I am going to do, part of me just wants to get a part time job. The other thing is I only get paid £550 a month for full time, and out of that I pay the childcare and some of the bills, I also have two school age children to worry about.
Anyone any thoughts? Sorry its so long but it has been really worrying me

 

[Jen79]

I am not sure but would you not get help with the chilcare costs? I was looking into doing midwifery and I thought (maybe wrongly!) that they can give you help in that department?

If I were you I would probably go back and give it a go, it sounds like you do like it. The nerves and stuff are just because you are still learning, you will get more confident with more experience. I think that if you go back you can always see how it goes and then maybe give yourself a month or two and reassess what you want to do. There are plenty mums on here who have had to go back full time, and in the end it would be a great career.

Take care

 

[Tangerinedream]

I agree with Jen, go back and see if you feel the same after a month or so. Arent there dependants bursaries you can get or do you already recieve that?

I was looking into changing careers and going for midwifery but it is just an inpossibility at the moment. Im gonna look into it again when Jake is at school.

Good luck whatever you decide

 

[lauramumof2]

you should go back hunny. I take it you were training to be a midwife??
Everywhere has its cliques, its unavoidable and sometimes the cliquey people dont realise they are even being seen that way.

Sure, its going to be hard work but sometimes there is nothig worse than thinking you might have missed your chance. If you put it off now, it might not be any easier in a few years.

You go for it!, it will work out for you and your family

 

[EllieG]

Thanks for youve replies, I think in my heart i know you are all right, i am just really scared! There are some very confident girls on my course who are really popular with the staff, and i feel very inferior to them.
I have just had a shock, my father in law was diagnosed with a degenertive condition called psp 9 years ago, he died tonight, I think I will put any majot decision making on hold for a wee while

 

[valentine]

Oh Ellie you poor thing - thinking of you and Freya honey - lots of hugs to you.

Definitely postpone the decision making - email your course tutor and ask for an extension on making your decision if necessay.



Valentine Xxx

 

[EllieG]

updated in first post x

 

[Redshoes]

Only you know what's best for you and your family, I can understand why its so hard, personally I would be terribly torn but also as Freya is older now, it may be possible to finish the course without it being too difficult on you both? I don't think you should miss out on your qualification and recognition of all your hard work, plus its a wonderful career you'll have, very envious of you, very best wishes, I hope you find a good balance Oh and I would say give the hypnosis a try, and alsoo some crystal healing, checkout ebay for some confidence reiki bracelets, or the like, take care

 

[valentine]

I agree with Redshoes, it'd be lovely to see you graduate into such a worthwhile profession (with 3 children as your birthing experience too!) and it sounds like it'll be best for your family in the long run.

Valentine Xxx

 

[EllieG]

Thanks Amy and Valentine, I think I just have to go for it and take it a day at a time, I'm hoping Freya will adapt to nursery and the 18 months will zoom past, then I will have a year before she starts full time school, when hopefully, I can go part time and spend as much time with her as possible
I really appriciate you taking the time to read and reply - thank you