Remembering your baby

Discussion in 'Coping with Miscarriage & Loss' started by Daley, Jun 3, 2013.

  1. Daley

    Daley Well-Known Member

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    Hi girls,

    I'm slowly coming to terms with my loss - or at least I'm getting out of bed and attempting to get on with daily chores etc.

    Just wondering if anybody has done something to remember their loss. I want to do something but don't know what. I wrote a poem last night but was thinking of buying a piece of jewellery or buying a tree to plant in my mums garden (we live in a flat). Not sure what to do. Looking for ideas x
     
  2. scn

    scn Well-Known Member

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    We planted a white azalea in the garden that I can see from the window when I'm sitting on the sofa xx
     
  3. leean10

    leean10 Well-Known Member

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    I got a tattoo on my wrist with shooting stars, my way of remembering x
     
  4. twixi

    twixi Well-Known Member

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    I'd like a tattoo too, a lotus flower as it means re birth. However hubby thinks I have enough! (have five), may do it in secret lol.
    More likely we will buy a nice tree for the garden x
     
  5. Lozzaste

    Lozzaste Well-Known Member

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    I will do this eventually (I'm not doing it now as I don't want to have to add to it! Pessimistic or realistic, I am not sure!) but I want to have two tiny foot prints below my belly to the right. I'm going to wait though but I will do it xx
     
  6. netty

    netty Well-Known Member

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    I had one foot print for every week my baby lived.

    :whistle: fapatalking :whistle:
     
  7. Lou1103

    Lou1103 Well-Known Member

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    I bought a bracelet which did comfort me. But then it broke and it hurt my feelings. (Its being repaired)

    I like the idea of a plant but just be prepared to feel sad in winter when all the flowers and leaves fall off. I'm probably too sentimental lol xxx
     
  8. Lou1103

    Lou1103 Well-Known Member

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    I agree lozzaste!! Im so pessimistic :/ we got two lovely roses for the garden and i though to myself 'they could symbolise my mmc and my chemical' but i can't help but feel il have to buy more xxx
     
  9. jojo3972

    jojo3972 Well-Known Member

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    I have a tattoo on each wrist with the dates if my losses and 2tiny foot prints :) I also have a lovely candle with the dates on them and each dd I light another candle for my lost babies xx
     
  10. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    I don't due EDD or anything like that anymore, I made a conscious decision to look forwards and not back.

    However I carry a poem in my purse.

    No name, no face, no date of birth
    No hour of death, no plot of Earth
    You never breathed, or kicked or cried
    Yet for us you lived and died

    I have it with me at all times and I read it whenever I feel low

    I also have an angel pin that my bump buddy sent to watch over me when I fell pregnant with James. To me it signifies that my angels were watching over us all and finally gave us our sticky bean.

    xxxxxx
     
    #10 CARNAT22, Jun 3, 2013
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2013
  11. Lozzaste

    Lozzaste Well-Known Member

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    Carnat - that poem was so simple yet so beautiful, it actually made me cry :)
    Thanks for sharing that xxx
     
  12. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    Someone posted it here so I can't take credit for it, but it really resonated.

    I typed it up, had it laminated and a border put on it etc and I carry it around everywhere with me.

    xxxxxx
     
  13. Daley

    Daley Well-Known Member

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    All great ideas. I'm too much of a wimp for a tattoo although I'd like one. I'm going to get a bracelet and was thinking of getting the poem out on it.
     
  14. Iwant3

    Iwant3 Well-Known Member

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    I have a pink and blue wrist band with 'strength', 'Hope', 'Faith' and 'Courage' on and when I am sad or feeling bad about it all I run my fingers over the words (fiddle with it, kind of like worry beads!)

    I would have liked to plant something, but worry that I will become too overprotective of the planted tree/bush etc as I have a garden full of young children, who kick balls, snap branches off and pick the flowers! also would be really upset if it died too!
     
  15. Daley

    Daley Well-Known Member

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    That is my concern, I have a shared garden do wouldn't plant it there, thought about my mums but I know she's planning on selling the house in a few years. So probably look at something else x
     
  16. laurat

    laurat Well-Known Member

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    I got a tattoo on my foot with a butterfly and star dust. Its me and my hubby who really only know the true meaning!
     
  17. lozzalozza

    lozzalozza Well-Known Member

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    So beautiful, tears are running down my face. Thanks for sharing it with us x.
     
  18. Daley

    Daley Well-Known Member

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    My poem if anybody wants to read it. If it sounds familiar I took some sentences and added my own from another poem I found on the Internet. I'm going to get it put on a candle x

    Our Angel Baby!

    We had to say goodbye to you,
    Before we said hello.
    We never got to tell you,
    How much we love you so.

    We never got to cuddle you,
    Or count your little toes,
    We never got to place a kiss,
    Upon your little nose.

    You'll always be our baby,
    In our hearts you'll always be,
    You are our baby that just wasn't meant to be.

    You are our shining star,
    In our hearts is were you'll stay.
    We will never forget you and
    we'll meet again someday.
     
  19. scn

    scn Well-Known Member

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    That's beautiful Daley xx
     
  20. timtam78

    timtam78 Well-Known Member

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    I think to plant a tree is a lovely thing to do, you could always plant a miniature tree and keep it in a pot at your mums so when she moves she can take it with her. When I came out of my op my OH had bought me a born free elephant teddy from the hospital shop (I love elephants) so I keep that to remember mine by x
     

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