Relationship whilst trying to conceive

[sunshine21]

Hi there
I wanted to find out what other people's relationships are like whilst trying to conceive.
Don't you feel that there is so much pressure on you to 'DO IT' tonight that you can't get into it.
My husband is really battling with this. He said he doesn't want to be told when we must 'do it' and it must just happen. We both want to fall pregnant ASAP but I don't think he understands that there is basically only 24 - 48 hours when this can happen, even though I've tried explaining this to him.
We've only just begun to try and I can't go through this every month.
What would yo suggest?

 

[Wobbles]

Hi Sunshine x

My OH was brilliant talking about using OPKs etc etc but when it came to the crunch the mental pressure was a little too much knowing he had to perform & even from my side knowing I needed him to perform!

Do you use OPKs (ovulation kits)?

Personally if you do I wouldn't tell your OH that is what you are doing & not from being devious because you both want the same thing but purely to take some of that pressure away.

Wobbles

x

 

[Urchin]

Hiya sunshine and welcome. This also drive my OH mad as he got no action for ages then I'd be dragging him up the stairs!

The only thing I can suggest it try to keep some spontinaeity there by maybe doing it a few times when you don't "have to" as it's not the right time and you probably won't concieve. Does your OH know your ovulation dates etc? I shouldn't have told my OH when it was time, I think he'd have preferred to just get jumped LOL

Have you got sexy undies? I paid a visit to Anne Summers and bought a few toys and bras and things It seemed to work

 

[Urchin]

LOL wobbles beat me to it on the "keep your hubby in the dark" thing.

 

[sunshine21]

Hi there
Thanks for your reply.
Yep, we are using ovulation kits and checking my days etc.
It said that I should start trying from Tuesday to Sunday this week. We are already Thursday and haven't done it yet.
I can't go keep going through this.
However, your tip on not telling your husband that you are using ovulation kits and just trying without him knowing is a good one.
If it doesn't happen this month then that is what I'll try for next month.

Goodness, the pressure!!!!! Don't know how people do it.

 

[Wobbles]

I just cackled when I read that too.

Toys I'm waiting on my package from Scarlet magazine

Me & OH decided we weren't going to use them again & at first I agreed but I don't now so my stash has moved from my bathroom pinky box to the desk drawer

I think we have a good sex life but I can't stand sex in the morning & of course I wanted it when I knew it was 'the time' so I'll have to stay away from that one to divert suspicions

 

[Alicebabe]

I've been really lucky with my OH. He actually asks me when I'm fertile! I think in the last two months we have been TTC we have defnitely become closer as well. He'll go along with any of my demands for BD! He never had it so good before so he's enjoying that side of things I think!

 

[rusks]

hi sunshine i do sympathise, in the first couple of months we were exactly the same as im not a highly BDing person (if you get me!) i think i raised suspisions when i wanted it every day!! or every other day! we used to talk about ovulation and fertile times and now we just go with it. Around fertile times i jump on OH every other day, i couldn't manage every day !!and we don't mention why we doing it so often!, i like to think he thinks im being spontanious but hes not stupid, thankfully he wants a baby as much as me so he goes with it. In the earlier months we had a couple of episodes of him not being able to perform and it was heart breaking and i felt so unloved.

Im sure it will get easier when you become more relaxed etc. i was really obsessed with ttc but im now more relaxed and i think my OH picks up on that, BDing must be fun for us all. good luck

 

[Urchin]

Just a word of warning too ladies.

As soon as I got my BFP I thought "oh thank god now I don't have to BD all the time." THEN as my pregnancy progressed I really went off sex big time. This made my OH feel really bad, like I only wanted him to make a baby and that was it. Try to keep going when you get you BFP so you don't hurt his feelings!

 

[rusks]

good tip urchin!!

our poor OH's!! We do love them though don't we. Mines away for a couple of days and im so missing him, sad really, i bet hes having a ball!!

They say relationships change after you have a baby, i hope we always remain as close as we are.

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

Rusks where has your OH gone?
I think for some the relationships do change for us we have grown even closer then before and i feel more love for him when i look at what we made together.
Its all up to the two of you to keep your relationship strong.
Katrinaxxx

 

[rusks]

he's only gone on a course to birmingham which is a little way from cornwall!! he'll be back tonight and we will have a lovely weekend in this glorious sunshine - absence certainly does make the heart grow fonder for me! thanks katrina its nice to hear a good post baby relationship story.

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

Im glad to hear OH is coming back tonight.
Just my advice try and have some alone time once a day after babys born or you will go mad, it helps us stay real close still. Take Care
Katrinaxxx

 

[rusks]

thank you for advice

need to get BFP very soon

 

[Wobbles]

My OH doesn't want to have sex if we get a positive - Well he does but he knows it's not advised.

I think he would be put off the whole idea if I only seemed keener to jump him around the time I ovulate. Everyone’s sexual appetite is different as well but maybe its a good idea to take a short memory trip to see if you only seem to crave sex around the time you believe or know you could be ovulating.

 

[rusks]

oh i def only want to BD around ovulation my sexual appetite is very low and OH's is similar which helps!!
unless we have had a bottle of wine then thats another story!!
god im getting smutty today i do apologise!

 

[liviray]

You want smut? I'll give you smut!!!!!! lol

Lis, you should be sat out in the sun!!!

 

[liviray]

PS My bloody ticker is wrong again! I am a 28 day cycle, currently on day 1! Not 29!!!!!