Relapsed :(

[bbee]

I've suffered with severe depression for years, this past year I have started to get out of the horrible place and I have come so far and so proud of myself as I did it all on my own! I saw therapists and counsellors but they don't help, I think in depression it's a case of helping yourself only people can guide you.
I've been doing so well and surprisingly I haven't slipped back into that place (these past five months my boyfriend has been so cruel to me). Although I don't slip back into that awful place I did shut myself off from the world little.
Obviously I've tried my hardest not to have break downs due to carrying my little lady. I have had a few though.
Today I had one, only lasted a few minutes but it resulted in scratching my arms aggressively
I feel so terrible and guilty, and I'm worried what these breakdowns do to my baby, Im scared I've made her distressed I've felt her wriggling and I've had a listen and shes kicking away.

Such a horrible day today :'(

Xxx

 

[hayes]

Dont really know what to say hun, im sure little lady is ok, but have you got someone u can talk to i always find when im at my lowest i have to talk i have to let it out or it eats at me.

Michelle. x

 

[Baby Bean]

I'm tri hopping to send you hugs I'm sure your little girl is just fine tucked away in there. Don't see it as a relapse, its more a lapse...a one off. Stay strong and you will get there xxx

 

[Holly1991]

Oh Hun I know how you feel... I've relapsed also, with my panic attacks and sick phobia.
When I'm in a panic I scratch my arms (I dot even realise til panic has gone) its all this sickness I've had recently..
My arms look terrible ATM. I feel like a nut job.

Stay strong honey you will get through this just think of your baby girl. Take deep breaths and talk about it !
Xx

 

[mrz85]

Have you got someone you can talk to ? Have you thought about taking a break with your bf ? See how you both feel after ? Here if you ever need a chat (( hugs)) x

 

[Dotty_woman]

Try to concentrate on the positives. You are pretty girl with your whole life ahead of you. Yes, it's going to be difficult being young and bringing up your little girl when you have a lot of other things you may want to do but right now she really needs you to look after yourself. I'm sure you will have a good number of decent friends and family who will be there for you so don't forget there are more people that care about you than you might think. Wishing you all the best. xxx

 

[C0606]

I'm sure your little lady is okay. I was having a hell of a time of it for a while from around 7-15 weeks and was worried about the distress I could be causing little bub's and was surprised at how resilient they really are. It's been found that the hormone that causes stress and negative emotions etc. in the most part is cancelled out by the placenta so it doesn't pass over. So don't get yourself worried on that count!
Are you still with your boyfriend? Haven't seen an update in a while. I think if he is continuing to be one of the factors getting you down (which he seems to be), you should seriously consider putting a break on things for the sake of your own well-being. You can only take so much (especially off people such as he who should be the most supportive person in your life right now) without having breakdowns xx

 

[loopylou83]

Oh Hun sorry to hear this but I'm sure your little lady is just fine in there! Does your midwife know about the depression, maybe you could have a chat with her as she would be able to offer support and its sometimes easier to talk to someone that you are not close too- she would also be able to reassure you about baby and put your mind at rest?! Hope you feel better soon xx

 

[bbee]

Aw thank you so much ladies! You're all so supportive and I always find comfort on pregnancy forum!
I've calmed down now, enjoying one of my cravings - chocolate sponge with choccie custard! I hope I don't get into another state like that again any time soon! It's so awful! It's like the more I know I shouldn't get stressed, the more I do! Today it all just got to me; the heat, spd, over tired. ;(
Thanks again ladies! Xxxxx

 

[mrz85]

Your welcome we are hear for u x

 

[carli91]

Massive hugs to you hun

 

[BBaby]

Sending u a big hug too and hope ur feeling better xxx

 

[Rebecca89]

Hope you are feeling better xxxx

 

[bbee]

Feeling better today thanks a lot more relaxed!xxx

 

[mrz85]

Feeling better today thanks a lot more relaxed!xxx

good to hear!!

 

[mrssmith2011]

I'm pleased that you are feeling better today xxx

 

[Rnicholls]

So sorry your feeling like that babe, I suffered with depression when I was 18 and was on anti depresion tabs for 2 years due to loosing my best friend... when I was pregnant in 2011 with my daughter I went through ALOT of stress and had lots of breakdowns fots ect, lost lots of weoght could t eat at one point for 2 weeks cus was in such aastate it just all came back up but baby was perfectly hwalthy and fine, try not to worry to much but try and stay calm I no ots hard but you qill get through it xxx

 

[bbee]

So sorry your feeling like that babe, I suffered with depression when I was 18 and was on anti depresion tabs for 2 years due to loosing my best friend... when I was pregnant in 2011 with my daughter I went through ALOT of stress and had lots of breakdowns fots ect, lost lots of weoght could t eat at one point for 2 weeks cus was in such aastate it just all came back up but baby was perfectly hwalthy and fine, try not to worry to much but try and stay calm I no ots hard but you qill get through it xxx

Thanks chick!
It's awful isn't it I'm sorry to hear that . Doing a lot better today! A lot more relaxed and stress free! Just focusing on my baby girl!xxx

 

[mumtofour]

Hun

I am a fellow mental health sufferer although I am stable at the moment and have been for a while although have felt a little low the last 48 hours.

I'm not sure if this is your first baby but I am going to advice that you speak with your GP and your Midwife about your depression issues, this is my 5th baby and I have had some serious issues in the past after giving birth as you're hormones go mental, the baby blues are really common after birth and if you already suffer from mental health issues then this can be even worse so medical professionals really need to be keeping a close eye on you to ensure that if any issues do arise then you can get the right support to ensure the depression does not get the better of you.

As I have said at the moment I am in a good place and am currently being weaned completly off my medication however my GP and Midwife are fully aware of my history and will be keeping a close eye on me, my midwife has also put me forward for a consultant this time that deals with women that suffer from mental health and high risk of PND, this is not a bad thing and it doesnt mean I will get depressed after giving birth it just means that the support is already in place if the worse should happen.

Feel free to private message me if you want to talk or rant but please be aware that I do not come on here daily as like I said I have other children and I work full time so get very little spare time.

 

[bbee]

Hun

I am a fellow mental health sufferer although I am stable at the moment and have been for a while although have felt a little low the last 48 hours.

I'm not sure if this is your first baby but I am going to advice that you speak with your GP and your Midwife about your depression issues, this is my 5th baby and I have had some serious issues in the past after giving birth as you're hormones go mental, the baby blues are really common after birth and if you already suffer from mental health issues then this can be even worse so medical professionals really need to be keeping a close eye on you to ensure that if any issues do arise then you can get the right support to ensure the depression does not get the better of you.

As I have said at the moment I am in a good place and am currently being weaned completly off my medication however my GP and Midwife are fully aware of my history and will be keeping a close eye on me, my midwife has also put me forward for a consultant this time that deals with women that suffer from mental health and high risk of PND, this is not a bad thing and it doesnt mean I will get depressed after giving birth it just means that the support is already in place if the worse should happen.

Feel free to private message me if you want to talk or rant but please be aware that I do not come on here daily as like I said I have other children and I work full time so get very little spare time.

Thank you! My gp and midwife are aware of my depression, although my midwife isn't aware of the extent of it or how bad it actually was. I have an appointment with her in two weeks and I am going to speak to her about it and support and stuff.
Thank you for your advice, I really appreciate it! It's nice to know that there is support out there xxx