Really weird question...

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by Juice, Aug 24, 2016.

  1. Juice

    Juice Well-Known Member

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    Hey! This feels like a really weird place to ask this but I'm not a member of any other forums or anything and I wouldn't know where else to post.

    So, there is a child who is about 5 or 6 year old who lives on our street. He very often steals things from people's gardens, he checks car doors to see if they're unlocked, he spits at the other kids and also adults he doesn't recognise (he has done this to a few of our friends who have visited but doesn't spit at us or other neighbours as far as I'm aware), he often pushes other kids off their bikes/scooters/hoverboards and has caused at least one nasty injury to another child from doing this.

    I have tried speaking to his mother about him taking things from our garden, one of which being my daughter's slide! (It was a little baby slide). Other neighbours have tried to talking to his mum over various issues too. His mum claims she can't speak English whenever she is approached, but the other kids and also parents in the neighbourhood know perfectly well that her English is fine, albeit her second language. I haven't, but other people have heard he speaking in English.

    So our dilemma is: What the hell can we do? Surely you can't report an antisocial 5 year old to the police? Is this a social services matter considering the mother won't acknowledge or take responsibility for the problems? Can our housing association help?

    A lot of children steal and act up, etc, and I know it's a normal part of childhood, but I can't help feeling that some of his behaviour is learned. Like trying car doors - what kid does that unless they've been told/taught to?

    Any ideas would be very welcome! Thanks :)
     
  2. Lolie14

    Lolie14 Well-Known Member

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    Do you know his name or which school he attends? I think he's likely to show the same behaviour within the school setting as he does at home so I think if you perhaps have a chat with a teacher to record your concerns?

    Failing that, there must be a police community support officer/liaison type of person who you could speak to. I think if you have concerns for this little boys welfare then I would definitely ring and have a chat with someone at social services.
     
  3. northerngirl

    northerngirl Well-Known Member

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    It's quite alarming that a little boy of that age is out alone to be honest, I think there's definitely cause for concern there. The fact he's doing these things isn't really normal so yeah I think contacting the school or local authorities would be the best thing to do, his mother doesn't seem to be thinking of his welfare so I should imagine you'd be doing him a favour as much as your neighbours!
     
  4. Juice

    Juice Well-Known Member

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    It's quite normal here for kids that young to be out. We live in a cul-de-sac so it's relatively safe. My kids won't be going out alone at that age, though lol

    I'm not really sure if I'm concerned about his welfare. I can't see any signs of abuse or neglect, I just suspect that the family are generally up to no good and aren't very nice people, and are teaching the boy their "ways". Well that's the impression I get, anyway. Ahh I dunno :/

    I'm assuming he goes to the school at the end of the road. I only know his first name. Can I really approach the school about a stranger's child??
     
  5. StephyLou

    StephyLou Well-Known Member

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    I think in a safe setting it was perfectly normal for kids that age to be out 20 years ago, i dont know now a days how different it is.

    I think contacting your local PCSO rather than school if the mother is unapproachable. If you think her english is fine maybe tell her you plan on doing this in a week and see if she responds to that. Just be careful how you do it so you cant be accused of racism. I think it would be better if you can get evidance of whats been stolen from other neighbours too. Kids to go through a stealing stage, my biggest was a walnut whip though so that child has skills lol
     
  6. northerngirl

    northerngirl Well-Known Member

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    Okay, so it's possibly not a welfare issue, but something's not quite right, and the parents should be doing something about it. If you think about it, it could be pretty dangerous him trying car doors, you never know what it might lead to.
    StephyLou is right with the evidence thing, they might say they need proof, or they might just go over and have a chat with the mum and make sure everything's alright at home and that they address these issues.
    Have you tried googling something and see if any other similar situations come up and what happened?
     
  7. BunnyN

    BunnyN Well-Known Member

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    I'd talk to the police. They can advise you what to do and even if they can't do a lot they might talk to the parents or drive through your area once in a while which could be enough to help. It could just be that he isn't well supervised, especially if he is just stealing toys and stuff for himself but there are quite a lot of families where I live who make a living out of stealing and begging and they defiantly teach their children how to do it also.
     
    #7 BunnyN, Aug 24, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2016
  8. Juice

    Juice Well-Known Member

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    I definitely feel like he's been taught to steal. I have no proof of that, but your know when you just have a feeling? I think it's the trying cars thing. A bag of change we had in our glove box went missing a few months back and now we've seen him trying to get in cars we're wondering if he took it. (Sometimes we forget to lock the car when we get home). Again, no proof.

    I've spent a bit of time with this kid because him and a few others have come into our garden to play with Beth in the past. If you talk to him about the things he's taken he says things like "I just took it from the garden. But that's okay. I'm allowed to take it if it's in the garden." He never denies it! Lol I should get his confessions on video!

    Thanks for your help, ladies. I think I'll ring the non emergency police number and see what they say.
     
  9. StephyLou

    StephyLou Well-Known Member

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    Please let me know how you get on, this is really interesting to me but obviously fristrating for you and your neighbours.
     
  10. JD.Deedee

    JD.Deedee Well-Known Member

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    Local health visitor? They'll have had his file not that long ago so if you know the address they might know more about his situation and either advise you or take the appropriate actions themselves x


     
  11. Karenb

    Karenb Well-Known Member

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    School won't (well shouldn't) talk to a stranger about another child. As a teacher, I wouldn't. Community support officer maybe though.
     
  12. Pambi

    Pambi Well-Known Member

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    If I caught the child in my garden in these circumstances, I'd consider giving him/her a telling off and say you will need to tell the police. At 5/6 years old they will understand.

    I say consider rather than do it, I think it depends on the neighbour and potential repercussions. Your local housing team might be another source of advice on Antisocial behaviour.
     
    #12 Pambi, Sep 5, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2016
  13. Fruity01

    Fruity01 Well-Known Member

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    I'd contact the non emergency number and see what they say. If they send a local pcso out and they see anything of concern the police will refer to social services themselves. Kids are not criminally responsible for their action until they are 10 years of age unfortunately but getting advice won't do no harm worse they can say is sorry we can't help you.
     

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