Hi everyone. First off I want to apologize as this is quite a complex situation and i might end up rambling a lot. Also, its not unlikely Ill delete at somepoint as the story involves other people as well.
My younger brother (34yrs now) has always been moody, angry, quite immature and extremely spoiled by our mother, who visibly prefers him over me. I am more emotionally independent and strong than he is, so this situation has suited them both, although he has always complained about her being overprotective and making him feel like a child. Despite all this we had a good relationship until last summer.
Quick aside - i have been living in the same building as my parents for the past three years with my daughter and partner.
So last summer he started to fly in a rage or cry uncontrollably and eventually he saw a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with OCD for which he was put on anti Ds. He started talking about suicide a lot and his anger towards our parents, who have been truly good to both of us. His complaints were and are largely exaggerations, or gross misinterpretations. Over time i became his only support system (he lives abroad with his partner but would talk to me via message nearly all day every day). Initially i was extremely concerned with the suicide talk but i realized quickly that it is a way to manipulate and get what he wants. I would NEVER make light of mental illness but he appears to have a narcissistic personality and is used to getting anything and everything he wants.
Months later i fell pregnant and as i was high risk and on bed rest i had to ask my brother to stop with the incessant messaging as it is extremelly stressful and also depressing for me too and i felt like i needed to protect myself and my baby. He didnt stop, even though i asked many times over the months.
Recently he visited and spent two summer months here. I was dreading it as i am heavily pregnant and i find him to be an awful person by now. Among the many shows he put on this one was the most scary to me: one evening after being denied use of our parents car he took a knife and started to cut his arms while screaming his head off. BUT he used the blunt side of.the knife (after all this was a show and not something real) but more importantly he did it in front of my 8 year old daughter who was crying and screaming. I have explained the situation as best i could to her and luckily she is a child that doesnt bottle up her feelings but can you ever really be sure? My brother apologized to me afterwards but really what use is an apology? After this he behaved as though everything was normal although i will never trust him around my children again. I confronted him a few days later to tell.him how much this affected me and basically he got mad at me and has since stopped talking to me. If i enter a room he immediately leaves! Luckily he went back home yesterday but i think i am getting depressed. I dont want him as a brother anymore. And my mother actually seems to resent me for all this.
Im not sure what im looking for really. Advice? Compassion? Just a way to vent? Thanks for reading if you got this far ! And sorry for the long post.
My younger brother (34yrs now) has always been moody, angry, quite immature and extremely spoiled by our mother, who visibly prefers him over me. I am more emotionally independent and strong than he is, so this situation has suited them both, although he has always complained about her being overprotective and making him feel like a child. Despite all this we had a good relationship until last summer.
Quick aside - i have been living in the same building as my parents for the past three years with my daughter and partner.
So last summer he started to fly in a rage or cry uncontrollably and eventually he saw a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with OCD for which he was put on anti Ds. He started talking about suicide a lot and his anger towards our parents, who have been truly good to both of us. His complaints were and are largely exaggerations, or gross misinterpretations. Over time i became his only support system (he lives abroad with his partner but would talk to me via message nearly all day every day). Initially i was extremely concerned with the suicide talk but i realized quickly that it is a way to manipulate and get what he wants. I would NEVER make light of mental illness but he appears to have a narcissistic personality and is used to getting anything and everything he wants.
Months later i fell pregnant and as i was high risk and on bed rest i had to ask my brother to stop with the incessant messaging as it is extremelly stressful and also depressing for me too and i felt like i needed to protect myself and my baby. He didnt stop, even though i asked many times over the months.
Recently he visited and spent two summer months here. I was dreading it as i am heavily pregnant and i find him to be an awful person by now. Among the many shows he put on this one was the most scary to me: one evening after being denied use of our parents car he took a knife and started to cut his arms while screaming his head off. BUT he used the blunt side of.the knife (after all this was a show and not something real) but more importantly he did it in front of my 8 year old daughter who was crying and screaming. I have explained the situation as best i could to her and luckily she is a child that doesnt bottle up her feelings but can you ever really be sure? My brother apologized to me afterwards but really what use is an apology? After this he behaved as though everything was normal although i will never trust him around my children again. I confronted him a few days later to tell.him how much this affected me and basically he got mad at me and has since stopped talking to me. If i enter a room he immediately leaves! Luckily he went back home yesterday but i think i am getting depressed. I dont want him as a brother anymore. And my mother actually seems to resent me for all this.
Im not sure what im looking for really. Advice? Compassion? Just a way to vent? Thanks for reading if you got this far ! And sorry for the long post.
