rant

[HannahD]

Ok, my turn to rant!!

I am in such a foul mood today I just want to punch something or smash up my house!! I don't normally get this p*ssed off but I'm so unbelievably fed up with this whole ttc m'larky. I feel like this rage is bubbling up inside me and i'm going to explode!

I'm so f*!k'd off with obsessing about getting pregnant, the fact i'm not pregnant yet and the stupidness of symptom spotting. I just know i'm setting myself up for a fall this month.

I started off all calm and rational at the beginning of this cycle but now i'm nearing the end of it I feel like i'm turning into some psycho woman (and no, it's not pmt as I never have this!). I know all of you are in the same boat and you totally get that each month it doesn't happen you just wanna scream "NO FAIR!! When's it going to be my turn?" But seriously, when is it going to be my turn?!! FFS, how long does it take?! This is 2 years to the month that we started ttc and I never thought it would take this long, which is probably incredibly naive but once you start trying you want it now.

I hate that i'm like this, I hate what this is turning me into yet I feel utterly powerless to stop these stupid thoughts that keep popping into my head.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

.....and breathe!

 

[Chrissy1]

firstly

secondly, I sort of know how you feel hunni.... I was trying for almost a year last time and there a months when I was like 'oh well not this month' and then other months I'd just want to stand on top of a mountain and scream. I found the worst thing was that once I was trying to be pregnant suddenly there were pregnant women everywhere I looked!!! In fact when I was pregnant I was really aware of this and tried to disguise my bump as much as possible so as not to upset and other ladies who were TTC

Have you sought any medical advice or anything yet?? (sorry only just come back to TTC so haven't caught up with everyone's story yet)

And you're fine to be in a bad moon.....woman's perogitive!! and you never know if AF hasn't arrived yet and you are having mood swings it could still be your month

 

[HannahD]

We'd just gone to our gp for a referral to a fertility clinic when I got pregnant a couple of months ago but sadly it didn't work out. I know all is ok with us both so at least I have that to hold on to, it's just so frustrating! We were only going to make sure we could actually get pregnant. I do want children but only if I can have them naturally.

I just kinda feel well it happened once, why can't it happen again but quicker this time?! It took 20 months for us to get pregnant the first time, I don't want to wait so long for it again.

Apart from backache I don't get any other af symptoms at all so when I got pregnant I knew about it. This month i'm trying to find all those symptoms again! SO stupid I know but hey, I'm sure all logic has left my brain when it comes to ttc

 

[LouF]

Hey Hannah, sorry your feeling sh*t hun x x x x x x x x x x

I had this last week and got so upset it was 2yrs in Jan for us and I never in my wildest dreams thought it would take this long. I too thought that we would concieve naturaly I didn't for one min think we would have a prob, but we are off to the clinic end of Feb.
There are no signs in any of the tests we have done so far to say that we cannot concieve naturaly but for some reason it's just not happening.

It must be even more frustrating that you know you can get preg

If you can't rant on here and get support from us lot then it's a bad show x x x x

Our turns have got to come soon Hannah, I don't know when but it just has too

 

[SpaceAngel]

I tried for 5 years to have my youngest DD, but I fell pg within a few months with my 4th (m/c sadly), but at least you know you can conceive and once you have, it usually makes it easier to fall pg again (not that I am an expert or anything).

Hopefully this month may be your month. I remember with my DD I was in a foul mood because we were moving house and the delivery driver was late and I was thinking OMG this PMT is soooo bad, when in actual fact I was pg, and like you I never usually suffer with PMT. Bad moods are a good sign of implantation too!! Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

 

[puds]

hi hannah, hoping ur feeling a bit better. it always helps to let it out.
its been 8 months for me but only 3 af in that time. its so frustrating and sometimes i wonder whether i'm making it harder for myself coming on here and seeing bfps!! but i think it helps as u can let ur feelings out to others that are feeling the same way. we are all here for each other
rant away mrs!!!!
xxx

 

[roseanimal]

agree completely with what the others have said. rant away! Some cycles (actually most cycles) I've been ok but now I'm getting really peed off with the whole thing so I can imagine if i had to wait another year and month I would be totally psycho (as if I'm not already - hubby did comment on my totally mentalness a couple days ago ) I'm an emotional wreck (going from horny, loving wife to crazed psycho bitch in 2 seconds ) and I hate what it's turning me into too I'm here if you need to rant in here, on pm etc. I know I have a long way to go before I get to where you are but if you need a shoulder/ear/wheelybin of babydust... you know where i am.

more

 

[HannahD]

Thank you all for understanding how I feel

I tried talking to my mum and she just said I was being stupid, which wasn't very constructive!! Some days you need to wallow in self pity, why can't people just let you get on with it?! I know what I'm feeling is pointless and gets me nowhere, i'm just fed up and needed to have a rant!! I don't understand why she couldn't just say yes it's crap but keep your chin up....not don't be silly.

Sending you all sticky baby dust xx

 

[LouF]

Think I came out in sympathy with you tonight hun!!

Mega rant sorry girls!!!!!

As you know I have stopped smoking, and had a badish day to day but stuck to it just pigged out on crap!! Anyway I'm feeling chubby as it is at the mo but one thing at a time lets do the smoking the weight will follow with the spring coming etc.

So What does DH do tonight he grabs my tummy and says you'll have to watch this doesn't get bigger while you are giving up!!!!!!!

Well that was it, full blown crying tantrum, dont you think I can't see my belly !!!

Why could he not have just said nothing and just hugged me????

 

[HannahD]

Oh hun Bloody men!! I can't believe he said that to you As if it's not hard enough anyway without comments like that. They really have no clue do they?!

I'm on rather the large side and my DH often makes remarks that make me feel sh*t but he thinks he's just joking ~ he doesn't realise just how hurtful they are. I know I'm fat, I don't need reminding thank you!!

 

[LouF]

Lets be misreable together!!

He has gone to watch the footy at the pub and I have just had some galaxy choc, sod it!!

I don't think they mean things they say and I think they don't engage the brain before they speak sometimes!!

Also I feel a bit sorry for my hubby because some days (when I feel crap) anything he says can be wrong and create the emotional, hormonal and sometimes childish reaction

 

[HannahD]

Lets be misreable together!!

He has gone to watch the footy at the pub and I have just had some galaxy choc, sod it!!

I don't think they mean things they say and I think they don't engage the brain before they speak sometimes!!

Also I feel a bit sorry for my hubby because some days (when I feel crap) anything he says can be wrong and create the emotional, hormonal and sometimes childish reaction

Most definitely....we'll stuff our faces with chocolate and sod the consequences!!

You're right, I'm sure they don't mean it nastily, but you wish they'd just think sometimes before speaking!!

I have days when anything hubby does is just wrong. I told him not to bother trying to be nice to me today as I was in a foul mood so he's steered clear....and he bought me burger king for dinner, which was sweet!!!

 

[waterlilie]

Sorry you were feeling down hun. Hope you feel better today.
I know how you feel, i've only been trying for 5 months but wanted this baby for years and had to wait for OH to make up his mind about wanting kids! it was torture sometimes because i couldn't talk to anyone about how i felt and when people used to ask if we're planning to have kids i had to lie and say we BOTH agreed to wait for 6 years ...and now that he finally agreed to have a baby it doesn't want to happen!

Anyway...only 1 day to go i'm sooo looking forward to knowing your result and really hope it's a BFP!! i've got everything crossed for you!

 

[Tina & Gabs]

Must have been those hormones Hannah

Congrats again hun; so so so so so so happy for you