Rant about family in law

[pinkyprincess]

I've noticed that since Tyler was born, whenever we see the family in law I get TOTALLY left out!

I first noticed it the day we came home from hospital, but didn't think much of it as I'd had a c section was sore and not happy how they came charging over (but that's a whole different story!)
My OH had hold of the baby because he'd been changing him and obviously Ty was passed round from person to person so everyone could have a hold, fair enough! When he started fussing before they went he was given back to OH. Didn't think much of it.

The next time we saw them after their cuddles he was given back to OH although again he was fussing. I just end up sitting there like a spare part.

Now last weekend (and this is where I really noticed it) we went over and he had my MIL, FIL, SIL and BIL there along with his nan and grandad. Poor little Tyler when he woke up (after MIL sitting next to him in his car seat and touching his feet constantly) he was passed around like a parcel until he needed feeding when he was given to OH! and I only got hold of him when we took him into MILs bedroom! And again when we went back down he was taken off me again so everyone could have another 'turn'.
I was a bit pissed off but got over it.

TONIGHT MIL and BIL announce to OH they were coming over (I was not a happy bunny as I had Tyler asleep on my lap in my pjs no make up and hair unbrushed!) MIL came and sat next to me and kept playing with his feet (obviously to wake him up) surprise surprise he did and she demanded a cuddle so OH took him off my lap and gave him to her! He then after about 5 mins he started screaming as he wanted feeding so although she was sitting next to me, SHE HANDED THE BABY TO OH!

I was flabbergasted. He eventually gave me the baby to change his nappy and feed. She then stood over me as I changed it then asked for another cuddle. I had to literally take him off her because he was crying so much. They decided to leave and I eventually got to feed my baby!

I don't understand why he's always given to OH???

 

[Olive]

Idk hun. It's a difficult one. Maybe they don't realise they're doing it? What does your OH think? I can see why it would annoy you! xxx

 

[knopk@]

You are very patient, I would have taken him off and disappeared. Dunno really, talk to your OH so he can tell them next time to give him to you.

My MIL always asks if she wants a cuddle and defo wont wake him up. Do what you think is right, otherwise it will be the same story re weaing etc

 

[Lilelephant]

Omg how insane!! Have u said anything to OH? I would wanna punch them in the head!!!

I would just say no when she asks for a cuddle! As for playing with his feet to wake him up omg I would go mad!

If u know they r coming and ty is sleeping I would put him in his basket in the bedroom and say he has just gone down and u don't want him disturbed!!!

 

[pinkyprincess]

Idk hun. It's a difficult one. Maybe they don't realise they're doing it? What does your OH think? I can see why it would annoy you! xxx

I haven't said anything yet, just observing to see if it happens every-time or not iykwim?

So I'm not being silly about this? I do try my best to share him when people see him and if he starts fussing I never snatch him off anyone!

 

[Princess81]

Omg nightmare you're gonna have to get more vocal mrs. When u see them preparing to hand him to o/h step in and say you'll be taking him and slap her bloody hand away when she tries to wake him! Woman sounds like a pain in the arse!!

 

[pinkyprincess]

Omg how insane!! Have u said anything to OH? I would wanna punch them in the head!!!

I would just say no when she asks for a cuddle! As for playing with his feet to wake him up omg I would go mad!

If u know they r coming and ty is sleeping I would put him in his basket in the bedroom and say he has just gone down and u don't want him disturbed!!!

I was seriously hinting at that today as I made a huge point of saying a couple of times that he'd been overtired all morning (my OH was home for the day and I think that disturbed him a bit) and that he was having his second long sleep of the day and because of this I didn't want to move him off my lap incase it disturbs him!

 

[Bunnykins]

Id be fuming, especially if my baby was crying out of hunger!! I had a few occasions of this, LO had bad colic and cried constantly plus he was a very hungry baby and wanted feeding all the time, people just didnt understand that he needed things they couldnt give and they would try and cuddle him all the time even when screaming. I used to just be very firm and say can I have him please as he needs a feed and the last time I checked you arent equipped to breast feed him! people would sometimes still insist they could settle him so I would just physically reach for him out of their arms and say sorry he is a new born and I am not prepared for my child to go hungry its important he feeds. Most people got used to it and when he would cry they would immediately pass him back to me. I am also VERY VERY strict about people waking him up when he sleeps, my mum did it once and I had stern words about it, your the one who has to settle him back down again not them and I find it bloody selfish that they would disrupt a newborns essential sleep just for their own needs to get a cuddle and I would tell them that!!!!

I think you need to take your baby off these people when YOU think he needs you not when they decide its ok to give him back, he's yours your his mummy and if he's crying, tired, hungry or just needs a cuddle from someone familiar then snatch him off whoever is holding him cos you have every right to do that and they have no right to complain!!!!!!!! Honestly hon take control, let them know your his mum and your word is final else they will walk all over you with every little milestone he has

 

[knopk@]

I agree with ladies, take control or it will get much worse by the sound of it

 

[Binzy]

Absolutely agree with Knopf. My MIL is always taking Ryan off me. The last time she did it she also tried to turn away from me so I couldn't get to him! I asked her very slowly to give me my baby, fed him then left.
You have to do what is right for your baby not what appeases the inlaws. Cheeky whatsits.