Random question for working mums/mum's to be?

[MrsS15]

Would you quit or go part time if you could?

I'm a full time nurse and desperate to reduce my hours. But don't know if that seems lazy, expecting my hubby to bring home the bacon? just would like some opinions if you don't mind.

My hubby worked full time and also had his own business on the side part time. He's now quit his full time job and working for himself full time. He's doing very well at the moment so fingers crossed it continues! Our monthly outgoings are quite high (about 2k, biggish mortgage, 2 cars etc) and we're also renovating our house, we've got about 8k more of work to do. My hubby's wage could pay all the bills and we could comfortably live but wouldn't have the same spare money, doing the house would take longer etc. If I dropped my hours to about 25 I'd earn about 1200/1300 a month so would still bring home money but not as much. I just don't know if it's selfish of me for putting it all on him?

We're desperately hoping to have a baby soon so going part time would be after a baby is born. I really don't want to work the long unsociable hours that I have with my son, I've struggled with guilt and hated being away from him! Would you reduce your hours if you could? Or be a housewife full time? Lol. Would you have in your head a certain amount your hubby would need to earn?

Any opinions would be fab xx

 

[Aes1990]

I'm hoping to go back part time if my work agree to it. It's going to be a massive drop in money but i work shifts with silly hours and want to cut if from 5 days a week to 3 as I feel like I barely see my daughter as it is let alone when there are 2 of them! If it's all affordable I don't see why going part time would cause any issues

 

[Louloubelle84]

I work part time (26 hours across four days) and have done since my son was 9 months. My partner doesn't mind and we both like that I am with our son as much as possible

One day I will work full time again but the plan is not to do that till our son (and any other kids we might have) are at school full time. It's sometimes tight financially and we have not been abroad since my son was born but I like spending time with my son whilst I can before he gets too big and won't want to spend time with me and would rather be with his mates! Lol.

 

[tinselcat]

I'm a working single mum to a 17 month old. I'm part time. I know my situation is slightly different but if your job/company allows you to go part-time rather than full, I'd definitely advocate it!

I wouldn't quit, partly because I need the money, partly because it would totally trash my career in the medium term.

xx

 

[Maud]

I dropped to 3 days a week after having my daughter. I really couldn't bring myself to put her in full-time childcare and very almost quit altogether but changed my.mind at the last minute.

My OH has been very supportive of it as he also doesn't want our children in nursery full-time and we are very fortunate that this was financially viable for us. It gives me a nice work-life balance and I feel if it is something you want and can afford then you should go for it as you don't want to regret it later.

 

[Loula]

I have been a nursing assistant healthcare assistant for a few years now. I was full time whilst pregnant. Then for 2 years was part time and then in January 2015 went full time on a busy ward.
I'm now going permanent bank work as we're moving and little one starts school and everything is up in the air.
I would reduce your hours of your not happy or could you wait Til you go on maternity leave and then go part time when your back or get a more friendlier hours nursing job ie 9 Til 5 or something.
Personally there's no way I could give it up completely because I need adult interaction away from the family x

 

[Pumpkin9]

Before my son I worked full time 40+ hours a week - very work minded etc etcnalways thought I would want to go back to work full time never thought any differently as that's what my mum had done and it never bothered me as a child.

I had my son first and the agreement between myself and hubby was that I would go back full time as we were thinking of having a second child reasonably quickly and I wanted to get the "full" benefits of going back to my job and then getting be a full time salary on maternity leave second time round. I have to say I found it incredibly hard, partly because I had a 2 hour commute each day to start with but also because my job is very demanding and not easy to do you contracted hours and I like to do things well and found that I was either having to sacrifice finishing things properly at work or time with my son (which I just didn't want to do).

I'm now on maternity leave with my daughter and this time around once I look at going back to work I am firstly most likely going to change career and do something for a few years that doesn't absorb so much of my time, and secondly I am going to go 3 days a week. My husband has a pressurised job and so we have discussed it and agreed that I will take on a lager share of the parental duties and home making (dinners, shopping, cleaning, organising insurances, maintenance etc..) and he will focus more of providing us with an income to live and enjoy ourselves with.

Both of us will have an equally important part to play and I don't see money as the only aspect of this. With going back to work After my son we scraped by on our arses trying to survive, never had food in the cupboard, ate shit meals for convenience and just generally had no time to plan anything. This time round I'm hoping we've learnt from our mistakes and can balance our lives better.

Basically as long as I can make about 12-18k a year we won't be massively worse off due to changes in what I'll get taxed and still have a little left over. If I can't manage that it might be tight for awhile but once both our kids are at school I'll try for something better again and see how we go. I'll be dropping my salary by around 2/3rds but I'd rather sacrifice that than seeing my children grow and investing in them properly

 

[MrsS15]

Thank you all so much for replying. I really appreciate you taking the time!

I'm currently doing 5 12.5hr shifts out of 6 days. Just reinforcing how much I want to reduce my hours! I've spoke to hubby and I'm reducing my hours slightly to 34.5, it's not a lot but will make a difference for now. I'm definitely not planning on going part time until we've hopefully had a baby anyway. I've worked hard for the NHS, I want my full mat pay lol!

My hubby is very supportive and has said if his business continues to do well I can quit, but like you loula I do still enjoy the adult interaction and bringing some money into the home. I also had 5 years of higher eduction to qualify so I'm not doing all that for nothing. I just want to find the balance of working and being a good mum/wife!

I'd love to take a year's maternity leave but I think I'm going to try take 4 weeks annual leave before my due date then 10 months maternity so my pay isn't too low. It'll get us gradually used to my wage dropping though!

Working 3 days seems to be what most are doing. Do you all feel this gives you a good balance?

I'm planning on going back to uni in a few years and doing child protection (I'm a children's nurse) so hoping to do this while I work part time xx

 

[russellmuscle]

I'm sort of in your boat. I work full time, not quite unsociable hours but still a huge part of the day (8.30-5.00). Oh works shifts so I can't really depend on him for collecting. He usually does the nursery run but once 1 becomes 2 it'll get a lot harder getting one to nursery and one to school. But at the same time my wage is dependant on rent, childcare etc so I can't drop too much.

I'm dropping (hopefully) 7hr a week, so a day but I'd want to go in Mon-Fri just shorter days and the wee man can go to breakfast club, baby will go to nursery and I'll finish in time to collect them again.

I think it's all about balance. I worked part time after Jackson and actually crept up to full time because I like my job and wages lol. Plus my job is my desk so if I took 2 days shorter it'll affect my workload on the other days causing huge stress then 2 babies to come home to. This way I'll be in daily to have some sort of manage and still be home for the kids.

This is the plan whether it works that way but I don't think your putting too much on him he made sacrafises to have his business etc and with another baby you will need to make a sacrifice somewhere whether it be time or a lot of money for child care..

Another plus of reducing hours is the money you'll save on childcare. I plan to only use a mini day so it's not a whole day so the bill isn't quite full time or even half days if my mum watches him for a few hours. Not worked out childcare yet as haven't discussed my hours yet.

I'm only going with 9m off. I was fine going back last time you do enjoy not being mummy all day every day it's nice to break it up, socialize and feel good in your job. Plus if I were to take the year I'd be back October and that be 3m no pay, fuck trying to do X'mas and then Jackson and OHS birthday in January.

Sorry rambled a bit there.

xxxxx

 

[russellmuscle]

Also when your looking at nurseries give me a bell. Jackson goes to Children's hour at Hardgate so if your needing like further insight on them I'm yer man.

xxxxx