Probably TMI but TTC after m/c

[Rosebay]

Hi,

ok so we're TTC again one cycle after my m/c. Not to put too finer point on it I am totally, obsessively up for it, all the time. I think I am OV today and my OH had said he was too tired last night and the night before and I was honestly lying in bed last night wondering if I could convince him otherwise in his sleep! Thankfully I didn't but I managed to jump him this afternoon as I spent all morning desperate and thinking of how I'm probably OVing and there's nothing to meet it. I'm pretty good at knowing when I've lost the plot mentally and actually I feel like I'm in a good place right now but my body and hormones have other ideas. I mean I like sex but we're not really that active usually and I can count the times I've initiated it in 13 years we've been together on the fingers of one hand so this isn't normal! Anyone else suddenly get taken over by their pregnancy- obsessed body when TTC after a m/c? It's kind of scary! I am hoping my OH will be safe after tomorrow.

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[DaisyRose]

Hi Rosebay,

I was totally obsessed, and even more determined after my m/c. Luckily my OH rarely says no although poor chap commutes to work 2 hrs each way every day, is out from 7am - 7pm and is on long-term antidepressants (not due to me, honest!!) Last month, when I conceived, I was convinced that we'd BD at the wrong time, and I suddenly got the idea that we should be BDing in the middle of a Saturday (of course girlies were around so no chance!!)

The night that the test went pos he was really really tired, grumpy, and fed up but all I could think was "oh no, if it doesn't happen tonight, that'll be it for this month"; I felt really awful for feeling like that. Anyway, I left him to cool off a bit and that worked!!

I think blokes often begin to feel like sperm donors!!! It is really difficult knowing there is such a small window each month and I'd like to be able to say that I was relaxed and completely took the pressure off but I didn't! I found not telling him when the ov tests were pos helped though.

All the very best, chances are it'll happen for you really soon.

 

[Rosebay]

Hi,

thanks for the reply that makes me feel less odd! My OH works from 5.30am- about 4pm most days, it's a new job and quite stressful. He's on longterm anti-depressants too so when the mood is upon him it's very difficult to get him out of it. The only time we have together alone during the week is from when Mel goes to bed at 7 until 8.30 when my OH goes to bed and for him that's late at night. I don't think we've got the right days this month but there you go. I haven't really gone into detail with him about cycles etc just that there is a crucial zone. With Mel we just did it every day for a fortnight, with my last pregnancy I got lucky when I OVd at the weekend!

This afternoon I managed to find things to amuse Mel in his toddler-safe bedroom for ten mins while my window of OH's enthusiasm was still open. Just as well as he got more annoyed about stuff (not me) as the evening went on so there would have been no chance later. Felt a bit bad in BDing while Mel was awake but he's only nearly 2 so he's not aware and he was perfectly safe in the bedroom next to ours.

So glad it's not just me being kind of calculating about it, it's just I want to know if there's a good chance or not so I don't get my hopes up if there's no chance and you want to feel like you gave it your best shot. Not sure now if I am OVing today, seems all over the place. It's usually 10-12 days but this would be about 14 and my cycle is never longer than 26. Ho hum. I guess things are all over the place a bit still.

Thanks again!
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[x Naomi x]

Oh no dearest perfectly normal behaviour, Dean has been prewarned that when and leading up to OV he is to be chained to the bed, only to be allowed to the ensuite to shower and toilet, i shall be taking all his food to him and his sole purpose for that week is sperm donor



He is a little nervouse bless him

 

[DaisyRose]

I think one has to be a little bit calculating if it is to happen reasonably quickly! Some women just seem to be able to go with the flow and not get stressed about it but I've always been very impatient!!! It's very difficult if you see so little of your OH (I only see mine for about an hour a night too, and one thing I really didn't like about trying was having to go to bed at 9.30!!!). The depression thing puts extra pressure on too (for me it was the worry that he was going to get fed up and change his mind about the whole thing as it has taken me 2 years to convince him to have a 3rd!)

It's good you got a chance though so hopefully you'll be lucky this month (afterall it only takes once - it only happened once in about 2 weeks when I conceived my first....by accident!!! Didn't have a clue about when I was oving then!!)

All the best for this month, and don't feel bad about putting your littleun in his room for a few minutes, I'm positive when ours were smaller, there were occasions when we grabbed a quick opportunity. It is very difficult when you have so little time!

 

[Rosebay]

Thanks ladies! That's really reassuring. NW1- lol! I'm not surprised he's scared, like the chain idea though! It's hilarious as I guess being jumped on by a sex-obsessed woman is most men's major fantasy but faced with the real thing it all gets a bit different after 48 hours it seems

I remember talking to my mum not long after I m/c about TTC again and she said "poor OH" so I think I must be giving off major mission vibes!

Thanks a lot!

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[gerb]

i know wen we conceived before we just bd every single day until i got a bfp!!! h2b is always gagging tho and has had a significant reduction since i got the bfp! so i think he is definately thinking positively about trying again!!