Pregnancy rage?

[Tara1985]

Hey,

Firstly, sorry for posting an off the topic thread but I really need some advice because I'm about to lose it!!!!

Before I got pregnant I decided to rent out my spare room to make some extra cash. In the interim of her moving in I got pregnant but thought it would still be a good idea to have her stay until I was nearly due. Anyway first month rent was due 5th January, that date came and went with no rent. On the 11th she asked for my bank details again because she had lost them....not even a sorry the rent is late

When I interviewed her she said she worked in a library, I soon realised this wasn't true when I'd take the day off work she would be home allllll day. I asked her about her job and she said she doesn't need to work and lives off her student loan. Now as long as the rent is paid I don't really care but it's the fact she lied about it. Also, I now face a massive increase in energy bills when she's home all day using up gas and electric. She also has a habit of just leaving her light on even she's not in her room and socialising with us in the living room but I think I'm just picking at everything now...

She has also used my landline to call mobiles without my permission, she will get the bill but I thought someone that was mature would say, by the way I used your phone, let me know when the bill comes and I'll settle up. Is she waiting for me to bring it up like I'm her bloody mother?

Lastly but i think is the last straw. Tonight she was trying to run a bath, now my bath has to be on a really low stream for the hot water to come through. I told her this but she ignored me and had it on full blast which resulted in cold water coming out. I then find her in the kitchen with a pot on the stove and the kettle going. I just want to throw her out!!! It's making me stressed but OH is so laid back and thinks I'm overacting which is then upsetting me more.

I've been nice to her. I helped her move I as she doesn't have a car. I didn't expect anything but she didn't even offer petrol money

Is it my hormones making me irrational? Usually I'm fairly chilled out but this girl is irrating me and I'm tempted to give her notice. I feel like I'm being unfair but I can't help it. Someone slap me or tell me what to do because OH is currently snoring after I cried to him about it

Xxx

 

[marley]

I think you are well within your rights to be miffed! The fact your are pregnant will make it 10 x worse.

Your doing well I would have sent her packing.

Maybe have a chat with her and highlight the the things that are bothering you, shes probably not even aware it's bothering you.

Has she paid you all the rent owed? Xx

 

[Tara1985]

Hey Marley, yes she's up to date now with the rent now. I could talk to her, that's the right thing to do but I keep feeling annoyed by her that I'm scared I still won't be able to live with her. Even if she was o. Her best behaviour lol

It's my home and I'm still courteous to let her know when. Have family/friends visiting. Her house guests sit in my living room and she doesn't even introduce them to me. I felt so awkward in my own home

Xx

 

[Tara1985]

Sorry, my iPad keeps autocorrecting words wrongly, hence the full stops mid sentence...

 

[marley]

Hmm it's a tricky one...

What does your gut instinct want?

I sense you want your home back, but your unsure about the process of actually having to ask her to leave?

When is your baby due ? When is she planning on leaving?

I say talk to her; get the extra income and she will soon be gone.

However if you really can't relax and it's stressing you out to the high heavens it may be best to get rid as you don't need the stress during pregnancy! You need this time to relax trust me !

Sorry I haven't been very helpful !! Forever the diplomat lol xxxx

 

[Tara1985]

Marley you have been helpful voice of reason!!! I guess I'm still upset....I'm due 9th September and our agreed date for her to leave s 5th September. Not sure I can hold out that long but will talk to her....just need to find a way to do it without having a crazed look in my eye!! xx

 

[marley]

I'd write down the pros and cons and go through it with hubby and make an informed decision.

If she's leaving on the 5th sept that only gives you four days breathing space before DD.

You might want a bit longer than that , especially during the summer
Months when your hot and
Fat , you might just want to lay on the sofa and not be bothered or sit in the paddling pool like I did drinking non alchoholic cocktails looking like fat ox hahahaha!


Good luck and let us know how you got on xxx

 

[Tara1985]

You might want a bit longer than that , especially during the summer
Months when your hot and
Fat , you might just want to lay on the sofa.

it's a good thing I'm not over sensitive...your honesty really put a smile on face!!!

PS You must be the size of a house with this pregnancy...60 weeks

xxx

 

[marley]

Haha I cant see the ticker as I'm on my iPhone! I hardly go on PF on the pc , I must change it!!

Lol I I am literally a mini ox in training, thanks to my gorgeous baby girl. I have dreams of being skinny one day.

I hope you can find a resolution that can help you both Tara, I can Imagine how your feeling as I was in a similar situation- but wasn't pregnant. It's quite sensitive. You can only do whats right for you.

Glad you appreciate my honestly, but seriously it's so easy to comment as the outsider. I know I'd find it terribly difficult to confront her if I was In your situation as I don't like saying no or upsetting people.

Xxx

 

[Loula]

id defo tell her how u feel and if things dont improve then get her out.
I dunno how id feel sharing my house with someone especially with being pregnant, i just like ot veg out alot fo the time x

 

[EssJayPea]

Hi babe. I'd kick her ass out. I'm getting pregnancy rage reading about her! Your health and happiness is more important Xxxx

 

[Jayjay027]

Hi babe. I'd kick her ass out. I'm getting pregnancy rage reading about her! Your health and happiness is more important Xxxx

My sentiments exactly!

I'd tell her (in as calm a way as possible) that its not working out. Even blame the pregnancy, say its been harder on u than u thought and u just need these next few months to relax before the baby comes. X

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[Tara1985]

Thanks girls - think I'm going to diplomatically ask her to leave. Out of principle I had a bath this morning and it was nice and hot!!!! She should just listen seeing as I own the place and have lived there for 4 years, she was just so dismissive of me like I was stupid. Sorry love but you're the stupid one heating up water on the stove...grrrrrr!!!! Wow the anger is back hahaha

xxx

 

[kra0]

I have pregnancy rage just reading this! How rude that you're letting her into your own home and private space and she doesn't even pay rent on time! I have no time for liars either! I think you've the right idea hun but as much as the money helps -you deserve to be comfortable in your own home xxxx

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[marley]

Did you get it sorted Tara? X

 

[Franna75]

Nesting instinct.....it will drive you crazy but its the way it should be! If you don't need to rent your spare room out then i think you should give her notice. Pregnancy is so tough and you dont need an alien around...

 

[leesey]

I totally feel your pain. I used to rent out my spare room and I've had some characters! One french girl brought round her non-english-speaking friends round and took over my living room wearing their stiletto heels on my solid wood floors and kicked my cat! One irish girl locked me out of my own house so she could have sex with her boyfriend whom I'd never met, and another used to waltz around the place like she owned it, her and her boyfriend taking over my kitchen for hours over dinner time so I couldn't even get in to make my dinner! All of whom left lights on, heating on full blast, left windows open, and totally disrespected my peace and privacy.
The only flatmate I've ever got on with is now my sister in law, and even then we drove each other bonkers!!

I kicked them all out by the way

The good thing is, it makes my DH seem magnificent in comparison, and I don't mind his messy habits quite as much!! Although I think my habits drive him up the wall as he was used to living at home before we moved in together! xx

 

[Tara1985]

Thanks girls for the advice.

Leesey you really have experienced it!!!! I don't need the money that much and it is stressing me out so have decided to ask her to leave.

Marley, when I got home yesterday she wasn't in so I went to bed. She came home late so I think she may have been avoiding me. Anyway really want to get it off m chest now by OH asked that I do it tomorrow because we had our 12 week scan today and didn't want any negativity today. Tomorrow she will regret taking the piss in my home.

I know she is paying rent but hello where are the bloody manners? OH is an IT technician and recovered all her project work from her hard drive as her laptop died so we have been nice to her. Guess I'm now justifying my reasons

Xxx

 

[Tara1985]

Just do you know she is leaving in a months time

So relieved and feel less stressed already. Thanks again for your advice girls

Xxx

 

[marley]

Ahh that's good Hun glad you got it sorted xxxx