pregnancies everywhere

[roseanimal]

now sil is expecting her third and by boss is about to be a granny and loads of my mates (well, colleagues and aquantances) are pregnant too and i had to go be surrounded by 5 kids under 6 last night (who i love dearly) and i was really tired and I always feel like a second class citizen when at mil's cause we don't have any yet know she'll be all over us once we do though

 

[Donna's here]

Rose Thats all I can say really babe. Your day will come

 

[roseanimal]

thanks only reason I was so shocked is that she has 2 already and her husband has been doing a thesis since the 1st was tiny and never spends any time with them and she is always complaining about it being like she is a single mum and mil is always on the phone to hubby saying sil can't cope and needs her there etc (well, mil rarely calls but when she does that's what she always says.)

I'm really chuffed for her though - that didnt really come across last time. I'm not a big moocow, promise!

 

[tootsieb]

!!!

 

[KJL]

I'm doing my thesis too, and worry about how much time I spend on it now - if I am lucky enough to get a baby I'm worried that I'll not have enough time to spend on my research, or that I'll spend too much time on it and not enough on the baby,. or, more likely, I'll get all worked up about trying to get everything right, not get anything done properly and end up racked with guilt!!!

Hiya, I know exactly how you feel, I was due to start my Phd in October and as much as it's my life ambition to complete it I just felt this overwhelming guilt at having to travel to do my research and leaving Layla to go in to study. I decided in the end to defer it, as my priorities have totally changed since having Layla. I was always totally career minded and a bit of a feminist, insisting I would go straight back to my studies However what I realised was that my career, although on hold, could wait, but the time I spend with my LO while she's little won't always be there. If you do get PG and have a baby and feel your priorities have shifted there is no shame in deferring your studies or putting things on hold. However if you do feel that you can do both then you shouldn't feel guilty. Either way you just have to follow your heart

 

[tootsieb]

 

[KJL]

I'm lucky in that my research is all lab based, I have my samples here and work on them here, any travel is only for conferences and training course so it's not compulsory. I'm cracking on with it as best I can, doing as much writing as I can now (that's why I'm always online) and trying to get as much out of the way as possible. I get 4 months maternity with my studentship and I'd like to take 2 months unpaid - but I'm not sure how that works, or even if it is allowed. I don't differentiate until June, so until then all baby plans are being kept very hush hush in case they would decide to let me go in favour of a student who could complete the research without having 6 months off in the middle. It would be understandable that they would think this way, it's an important piece of medical research, but I'm being selfish and putting me first.

I'm 39, so I'm a late starter when it comes to career, I don't think a career break is an option

i'm really intrigued now by what you are researching? Sounds so interesting! I'm an archaeologist (specialising in Egyptian Prehistory) so my research would have to involve some traveling. The statistical part I can do here but that probably wouldn't be until the second year. I guess I am fairly lucky being 27 as I can afford to take some "time out", I am looking forward to cracking on with it at some point I was just pregnant when I applied for my Phd and I felt so naughty keeping it all "hush hush" too! I knew though that there's always a chance of m/c and I didn't want to put my life on hold. They were fine about me deferring it thank god, I've been at the uni for quite a few yrs (doing my BA and MA) so they were happy at my news when I told them.

You are definately NOT being selfish, it is difficult for us woman when it comes to our careers as motherhood/pregnancy can shut so many doors. I like you felt it was important to keep things quiet until I knew for sure I was PG and past 12 wks.

 

[tootsieb]