PM results after stillbirth :(

Discussion in 'Coping with Miscarriage & Loss' started by Loubalouba, Jul 19, 2016.

  1. Loubalouba

    Loubalouba Well-Known Member

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    So our PM results showed placental insufficiency, his brain was five times the size of his liver suggesting the placenta had been failing for some time. Why did I not know this... I was always worried he was not as active as he should be but every time I had a midwife appt he seemed to pick up.. He never had a pattern some weeks he was active in the day some at night.. He had reduced movements one night so I went into triage and he was fine and began moving lots so I was reassured so the next time he was quiet I thought oh it's just his quiet day!! I thought when he was quiet he was having a growth spurt because I often felt hungry too. I know I was conscious of his movements but what if it was abnormal, being my first pregnancy I just didn't know what was normal and everyone said all babies are different. He stopped kicking around 30 something weeks but everyone said they kick less as they get bigger as less room but he was small so maybe that was a sign that I should have mentioned.. If only I had booked a private scan or just mentioned my worries to the midwife, if he had just been scanned he might be here now, or would he if it had been going on so long? Would his organs be less developed? Therefore would he had struggled to survive? Even though we have answers now it's opened up more for me. After 4 years and our miracle dies I have lost all faith in TTC and I can't help feeling I have more heartache to come. The consultant said I will be closely monitored and go onto aspirin etc but I will still be so anxious after having little/no warning signs! The consultant also said that ivf babies are more likely to have placenta issues and we have an embryo in storage and we were going to go for embryo transfer after pm results but she said we should try naturally first as more fertile after birth and less issues likely, but I just feel so desperate to be pregnant again but then if we have issues I will regret not trying naturally first.. But I just have no faith in my body and I find the whole process and pressure so tough, thinking of trying naturally this month and embryo transfer next month.. Feel so confused and sad tonight.
    Anyone else have placental insufficiency ? With little warning signs ?
    Sorry for long post
    Lou xx
     
  2. TS1982

    TS1982 Well-Known Member

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    Aw hunni I'm glad you got some answers xx I have no experience in any if this but I think you will be very closely monitored from now on x just wanted to send you hugs xx
     
  3. PeanutButter

    PeanutButter Well-Known Member

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    Im so sorry you went through this :( I hope one day you will get your rainbow baby. Sending hugs. Take care of yourself sweet x
     
  4. Elfs Mummy

    Elfs Mummy Well-Known Member

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    In so sorry :( xx


     
  5. Demerera

    Demerera Well-Known Member

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    Lou, I just wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss. I so hope your rainbow baby will be with you shortly. Stay strong xxx
     
  6. SiameseCatLady

    SiameseCatLady Well-Known Member

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    So sorry again :-( Take the time and decide what is best for you and your partner.
    I don't have any experience of this kind of pain, but I feel so much for you.
    Can you take a holiday and have a break? Would that help you decide do you think? Xxx
     
  7. flexilexi394

    flexilexi394 Well-Known Member

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    Hey loubalouba - I am very glad you got some answers, and all the factors just seem like bad bad luck and all together equals a tragic outcome. A good friend of mine had a still birth after 37 weeks of pregnancy and she too didn't know the signs and her movements had slowed right down etc and he just stopped moving one day and that was the end of the road for her and her son too. One thing she says to anyone pregnant is just not to blame yourself if anything goes wrong, how are we to know that a little bit of less kicking is going to be fatal?! I don't think these things are possible to monitor sometimes and I know they tell us to go in if we feel reduced movements etc which you did! You did all the right things, it isn't your fault so do not ask yourself all those questions, it isn't worth going mad over.

    If IVF babies have more risk with placenta then that is likely to be the problem which is completely out of your hands, it must be hard to know what to do in terms of do you just crack on and try again or do you wait a little while etc, only you will know if you are ready for that, and if falling pregnant naturally when you are more fertile etc will mean a healthier baby and pregnancy? I think I would try that option first if it was me but I haven't ever lost a bub.

    I wish you all the best in your journey, I think not giving up is the key to this and you can do it! I know it's awful and the heartache you must feel is unreal but you won't ever forget this baby and the next little survivor will be so precious to you! I hope you can fall pregnant naturally and if not use the other embryo, and you'll be closely monitored I would think with your next pregnancy and they will be quicker to act on any problems. Lots of love xx
     
  8. caseysmummy11

    caseysmummy11 Well-Known Member

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    Hi hun. I'm so sorry your feeling this way. My daughter too passed away from placental insufficiency. I had regular scans bevause she was an identical twin and she was always slower than her sister in growth of was reassured that this was normal for her. She wasn't a very active baby either and I only felt her kick when I ate again they said this was normal for her, her pattern. At my last scan at 32 weeks she hadn't grown in 2 weeks, we had been given a steroid shot 3 weeks before this due to her sister being in distress they were going to deliver me at 29 weeks but didn't as her heart rate stabilised after a night in hospital. For a long time and even now sometimes I feel guilty that I should have known or if I'd gone in when I first started with contractions she may still be here. The what ifs are awful and I found having the answers I so desperately wanted didn't help. Your heart so desperately wants to travel back in time so that you can change things. I have no advice re trying again as they were my last babies. I'm here if you need to chat. Sending you lots if hugs xxx
     
  9. Loubalouba

    Loubalouba Well-Known Member

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    Thank you everyone x the what ifs are tough but I guess it's part of this difficult process.. I am so up and down...
    We are trying naturally this month and got my peak so hopefully I am ovulating. We are going for embryo transfer next cycle, I can't go through month after month of trying and be heartbroken each month it's just too hard on top of grief but I also don't think waiting 6 months will make any difference. I just want to give ourselves the best changes asap and I would rather do the embryo transfer whilst I am off work so I don't feel pressured and my stress is reduced. I feel better for having a plan but I hate being back to ttc because I am even more obsessive!!

    We are booking a holiday for after the embryo transfer in case it fails, and if still no joy will go for our 2nd ivf cycle, praying we don't need to! I really hope harrison has helped my body remember how to get pregnant!

    Life is so bloody tough sometimes!!
    Thank you for everyone's support
    Lou xx
     

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