Please tell me I'm not the only one...

Discussion in 'Postnatal Questions' started by AmyQ, Aug 3, 2013.

  1. AmyQ

    AmyQ Well-Known Member

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    Evan is 14 weeks today and I am still too scared to have sex. Not that there has been any good time for it, but all the stories I read on here are about ladies getting back on the horse very quickly!

    I had a natural birth and an episiotomy with a few stitches. Apparently it's all healing up nicely, I've had a coil fitted so no worries about getting pregnant again. However, it is still hurting/stinging every so often, and there is no way I want anything going up there unless it is a medical procedure! I had a perianal abscess and fistula about 7 years ago which took 4 ops, a gaping wound and 9 months to resolve so I am terrified about getting any kind of infection.

    I know I need to bite the bullet and go for it cos I'm sure it will be fine, but I can't bring myself to. Please tell me I'm not the only one putting it off.

    DH is very supportive so I'm under no pressure other than myself.
     
  2. Becky1

    Becky1 Well-Known Member

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    I'm only at 5 1/2 weeks but have no intention of dtd anytime soon! I had a c section so different stitches/wound issues - never mind the fact its all grown a bit wild down there ;-)
     
  3. Msclaireypants

    Msclaireypants Well-Known Member

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    5 months on and we've only managed it four times because it's too sore. We first tried it 10 weeks after the birth. Don't feel pressured and there's no normal amount of time to wait, just wait until you feel ready!


    My lovely little man Spencer 28/2/2013 6lbs 3.5ozs
     
  4. Baby Bean

    Baby Bean Well-Known Member

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    We waited a few months after dd was born because I was very scared! Luckily hubby was very supportive about it but I did feel bad! X
     
  5. missyeovil

    missyeovil Well-Known Member

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    I think we did it around 8 or 9 weeks and then only once or twice after that until A was about 4.5 months. OH knew how worried I was about it though and so was very supportive and didn't pressure me at all. I had a tear (not a clue what kind!) and so had a few stitches and was terrified everything would just fall apart when we had sex! haha. xx
     
  6. Jayjay027

    Jayjay027 Well-Known Member

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    We gave it a go after 4wks and it was too sore and uncomfortable so we stopped. We tried again at 6wks and it was fine. He went slow and steady and kept asking if I was ok and we went at a pace that I was comfortable with.
    It is scary though having sex for the 1st time after having a baby. Its like losing ur virginity all over again! X

    Tapatalking from my blackberry!
     
  7. diane

    diane Well-Known Member

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    We first tried at about 4/5 weeks and it was too soon and still too sore. We have kept at it though and (tmi) found it was still sore with him on top. Finally last night I would say it felt 95% back to normal with him on top. That's 6months later. I had double episiotomy.

    I would say if you want to try just be gentle take it slow etc etc... But there really is no rush Hun. It is scary for the first time so I would advise waiting till your ready. It sounds horrible but I had to have a couple of drinks first to build up my courage lol!
     
  8. Chezza

    Chezza Well-Known Member

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    You are not the only one...we still haven't attempted it either!

    To be honest, we've been so busy trying to make sure JJ is ok that I think we kind of forgot about ourselves for a bit!

    We had a romantic night in the other night, with the full intention of DTD...but we both fell asleep on the sofa after a lovely meal, because little one had us up twice the previous night :rotfl:

    xxx
     
  9. Robyner

    Robyner Well-Known Member

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    Thank goodness I'm not alone :( I just don't feel right down there at all.
     
  10. Ella1979

    Ella1979 Well-Known Member

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    It's important to wait until you feel ready to. I can't remember how long it was after our LO's birth when we dtd, but it was quite a while. Even then, my c-section scar felt so odd and uncomfortable, stuff we'd done before just completely lost it's appeal. My scar still causes me problems 18 months later, although now I'm pregnant again, I'm avoiding dtd as much as possible!!!
     
  11. russellmuscle

    russellmuscle Well-Known Member

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    I healed within 3 weeks, back on the horse by 4 weeks post partum.

    I had 2nd degree tears and epi so, not the most straight forward healing process.

    Detol baths helped me lol, but there is no rush. Take each day you need. If you force it may be worse in the long run.

    Xxxx
     
  12. MiniVoid

    MiniVoid Well-Known Member

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    week 5 ish, but do it when you're ready 6 weeks is normal and advised :)
     
  13. russellmuscle

    russellmuscle Well-Known Member

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    A lot of people do it before then, hence why a lot of ladies go back to they'r 6 week check up preggers! :shock:

    I learned this from MW in hospital who asked me, approx 4h after giving birth (2h since being all stitched) about contraception. I said its 8am and ive been stitched I really don't want to think about contraception and she says well nor do a lot of females that's why they come to the 6 week check preggers, I asked HV she confirmed. I was shocked LOL!

    Don't get me wrong I did do it early, but we were ready and tmi but I wanted to really bad, they say that's your body telling you time to reproduce. LOL xxxx
     
  14. MiniVoid

    MiniVoid Well-Known Member

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    Russell, here too! Although I was going crazy every single midwife kept meivering about contraceptives I thought like I know am not stupid and no I don't want another one and WHERE DO THESE PEOPLE FIND THE TIME! haha.. honestly the first time was more foreplay and we were lucky and as we were finished lo woke up but ever since it's only when he stays overnight -.-'''''' I can't get me head round that there's actually people out there just gave birth and the quarter still hasn't dropped on how you get preggers..
     

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