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Discussion in 'First Trimester' started by Jessika, Jun 8, 2005.

  1. Jessika

    Jessika Well-Known Member

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    Unfortunatly my last post had no replies so here goes...i am very confused about what i should do. I found out yesterday that i am expecting..was news to me as i have had no symptoms at all, i think i'm about 8 weeks but i am having a scan on monday to find out. I am 22 years old and in a stable relationship but am unsure as to whether I should have a baby at my age. Would you guys say i'm too young or grab the nappies and get practising! Would really appreciate your feedback/comments as my mind is in turmoil at the moment...

    p.s good luck all you pregnant/nearly pregnant people out there!
     
  2. sasswa

    sasswa Well-Known Member

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    Jessika,

    I know how you must be feeling darl.

    Is this your first time pregnant?

    I have fallen pregnant twice before - once at the age of 22 and 2nd when I was 25. Both times I was seeing two different people that I was very much in love with. My decision to terminate both of those was based on my age, that they were unplanned (I really wanted a baby when I had planned one) and also that I could see that my boyfriend/s at the time were really not ready for children. I also saw that it would force us both to stay together if I went ahead.

    I really really wanted to have a child with someone that was thrilled to thought of being a father and also I wanted to feel thrilled as well when I saw a positive pregnancy result.

    I am now married and my husband and I couldn't wait to have children - and here we are.

    Saying all this though, I know that if I kept both or one of the previous pregnancies going, it would be the most loved child in the world and I would have coped.

    It is such a hard decision......but I don't think 22 is all that bad an age to fall pregnant. Now - look at that mother in the news with her teenage daughters all falling pregnant (one at 12 years old!)........

    Does your partner know as yet? If not, you MUST tell him and both talk about how you both feel about it.

    Sass
    x
     
  3. Jessika

    Jessika Well-Known Member

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    thanks so much for your kind words, i just do undertand the feelings...it's mt first time being pregnant and underneath it all i am thrilled - it's just so daunting and i think i need to work out if the thrilling feeling will override the daunting one!

    I have told my partner (he was there when i did each of the three tests!) and he is coming to my scan on monday. we have talked briefly but it allseems so surreal at the moment. He is 24 and we both have steady work and a home so all in all i dont see my problem but it doesnt stop me from feeling petrified!!

    So are you pregnant now or trying? (forgive me if you told me but i cant see throught the tears lol)
     
  4. Rosieroo

    Rosieroo Well-Known Member

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    Hi :D

    I am 23 and expecting my first too, it was planned and DH and I have been together for 8 years (married for 4) and have our own home. What worries me the most is coping financially, but I think that will work itself out. Also the thought of having another person in our relationship is weird but I am excited :D
     
  5. Jessika

    Jessika Well-Known Member

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    congratulations! hopefully it will work out as welll for me - i'm just not sure i could go through with a termination. The finance worries me too but i suppose everything happens for a reason!

    Good luck - hope it all works out for you.
     
  6. scared 19

    scared 19 Well-Known Member

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    hi there congrats!!
    I just thought that i would say hi and tell you that i am actually 19, i no thats young and all that but i couldnt be happier, enjoy every moment of pregnancy you have a tiny life inside you that you and your loved one created, you are going to be a mum!! and i couldnt think of a better achievement!! :D i love being pregnant and noing that i am never alone! and wen the baby is born i wont be either!! i am just counting down the days till i can hold my special little baby in my arms and call him/her mine (well ours if you include my other half :lol: ) Congrats again and dont worry everything will just slip into place!!

    Luv

    Liann and Sweetpea

    :D
     
  7. Jessika

    Jessika Well-Known Member

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    i love you!!! congratulations to you too - i'm so glad you sound so happy, i think your upbeat energy will rub off on me! i think i'm about as far gone as you (although scan on mon will confirm) perhaps we can stay in touch to see how each other is getting on??
     
  8. sasswa

    sasswa Well-Known Member

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    Jess,

    So pleased everyone has replied.

    I say have it.....don't worry about everything else. Hubby is in his mid 30's and panicking about money etc....I guess it's normal to go through this no matter what your age. It's just a shock because we all know our lives are going to be completely different.

    My main upsets have been whether or not it will change our relationship. Will he still love me the same way, will he get jealous about the baby and my relationship to it, etc etc.

    I know everything will be a-ok but if you don't talk to other people going through the same things, I don't know how we'd all survive.

    Take care hun,

    Sass
    x
     
  9. Jessika

    Jessika Well-Known Member

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    thanks so much - to all of you. I feel much better now, i think my mind is made up but still need to have a chat with the other half.

    Love you all and will stay in touch - who knows, after my dating scan i could end up being in the second trimester and the decision will have been made for me!!! (wouldnt be such a bad thing...)

    xxxx
     
  10. Guest

    ive just turned 23 and found out i was pregnant, im a full time student at uni studying to be a nurse, am totally skint, but i was 19 weeks and did think about termination, but i just cant do it, im not changing my life, im going to complete my studies. there is so much help out there for mums to be now. if you have a supportive partner then i dont think you are too young, this is the prime time for your body to carry a baby. i was scared to start with, my now im soo excited, my nursey is all ready me and bf have brought every thing now including high chair, and a paddling pool ready for next summer lol

    you will be fine
     
  11. -Cat-

    -Cat- Well-Known Member

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    Hiya Paradysso,
    There is no right age to start a family and its different for different people, depending on your curcumstances, a lot of people think that early twenties is very young to get married and have kids, but most peoples parents did! it has just become the trend now for women to have careers first and have kids later, which os both more risky for the woman and the baby. It sounds to me like you have a supportive partner and a stable home so its up to you. Don't worry if it all seems terriffying, everyone feels the same, at the end of the day bringing a child into the world is the most life altering decision you can make, it will effect you financially, effect all your relationships with friends, family and partner, your carrer choices, your social life . . . . So its unnatural to feel unsure and worried. Talk things through with your partner and good luck to you whatever you decide!

    xx
     
  12. Guest

    Couldn't have said it better myself, I am 19 and pregnanct with my 3rd (2 unplanned preganancies last year, both misscarried). This baby was also unplanned and me and OH have only been together since Jan 5th (my bday) so I was very unsure what he would say. We have been living together since we first started dating though and know this is the best thing that as happened to us.We knew we wanted to start a family one day so why not now. Money will be tight but this baby will have all the love it needs.

    Good lucks with everything :D and congratulations!!!
     
  13. Nikki2003

    Nikki2003 Well-Known Member

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    Jessika

    No you aren't too young you are 22! I'll be 21 at the end of July and I don't think that's too young to start a family at all. I actually think that it's better to start a family when you're younger then when you're older, but that's just my opinion. But you're pregnant now so even if you feel your too young it's too late now, because that's your baby and should be ready to take care of it.
     
  14. Nikki2003

    Nikki2003 Well-Known Member

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    Jessika,

    Hey I wanted to write you another reply because in the last one I seemed to sound smart and I didn't mean to come off like that....Anyways do what you feel in your heart is right. Don't worry about PLEASING anybody but you.
     
  15. trevinosbaby

    trevinosbaby Well-Known Member

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    Hi jess,

    I'm 19 and pregnant with my first. The fact your asking says your considering this baby. Babies are so wonderful and can be great in your life. You can still be successful in life with a baby. My bf is exicited about this baby.........just gotta tell the folks. Don't worry...it will fall into place.

    Lots of love
    ~~Kris~~
     
  16. Jessika

    Jessika Well-Known Member

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    thank you all, you are all so wonderfully supportive, I think me and boyf have decided to make a go of this family lark, we are about 95% sure anyway! My scan confirmed that I was five weeks so have quit smoking and started with the folic acid!
    Good luck to all of you in all you do and I hope you all carry to full term and have very healthy babies...I will let you know how i get on and will post piccy of next scan (you could only see a dot on this one!)

    Jessika and tiny person xxxx
     

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