Please help with advice!

Francesca89

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 28, 2016
Messages
53
Reaction score
0
Please give me your thoughts guys....

I have lived in Australia for the past year as I moved from the UK to be with my Australian boyfriend.

I am now 29 weeks pregnant and have decided to go home to have the baby to be close to my family and friends (as I don't get on very well with his mother) and as its my first baby I think having my mom for support is very important.

There is an ancestry visa that he could apply for as he has english grandparents and I have checked with visa experts and he would easily qualify, which would mean he could work in the UK for the 6 months I want to spend there.

After the 6 months I have said I would come back to Australia, so I don't think asking for him to come for 6 months is a lot - do you? Has he seems like I am asking a lot and doesn't want to make the move as it'll almost inconvenience him. But I would have thought he would want to be there for me and the baby? I feel like there is no compromise.
 
Hey have you checked you will be able to take the baby back at all? Having a child with someone in a country doesn't grant you or the child automatic visas my friend has two children with her african husband and even he isn't allowed a visa to live in the UK. So defiantly look that up.
I can see his point if he leaves work in Australia is their a guarantee of work in England as jobs are pretty scarce here. Also will be be able to get his job back after a 6 month leave?
Could you mum not come out to you guys for a long holiday? That way she will be close without your oh having to leave work. And you don't have to worry about visas for you and your child.
I can see both sides of the situation maybe the time is the problem, once the birth is over there really isn't much your mum can do you and you dh can't, and you might not even want her interfering because there is nothing worse than arguments over how you want to do things vs how they used to do things lol.
 
Have you only just decided this? Or did you discuss it before/in early pregnancy? Is he working? I see where you're coming from but also from his POV. It's a big move, yes you moved there for him but when you did that would he have been prepared to move away if you hadn't? Some people like their security, home, job etc and get anxious (understandably) about such huge changes. I would speak to him about it and start with your understanding that it would be a huge sacrifice for him rather than going down the route of 'I did so you owe it to me'. And really express how important it is to you. It's getting quite late now though as many flights won't be over enamoured with someone over 30 weeks pregnant flying 24 hours, then you need to organise your midwife care etc too.
 
To be honest I think you're being unrealistic.. are you going to drag a travel system along with you and all other baby needs and then bring them back to oz when you're moving back??? Also are you just going to rent a place here or stay with family and how about the place you have in oz? I agree with the others that it's probably easier to get your mum out there than come back here.


 
I am now 29 weeks pregnant and have decided to go home to have the baby to be close to my family and friends (as I don't get on very well with his mother) and as its my first baby I think having my mom for support is very important.

Guys can be unbelievable stubborn when it comes to their firstborn.

It's important that you explain everything to him so he can make a clear, informed decision.

You need to be in a comfortable environment to have your child, and really the father should be there irrespective of what country that happens to be.

I hope the best for you.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Members online

No members online now.

Forum statistics

Threads
473,572
Messages
4,654,624
Members
110,012
Latest member
lauramayne90
Back
Top