Please Help!!! Delivery room question...

[LadyBri]

I have a huge problem...I am 20 weeks pregnant and my partner and I have started discussing who should be in the delivery room. I know I definitely want my mother and of course my partner. I am not so sure if I feel comfortable with my his mother in the room when I give birth...him and his family are outraged at this idea. What should I do??

 

[LadyBri]

I meant to say that I am not so sure if I feel comfortable with HIS mother in there...sorry

 

[ranger*goy]

At may hospital they only allow up to 2 birth partners so it may be worth checking this out at your hospital.

I only want my hubby there, not sure if my mother would distract us too much.

 

[Becky]

I understand exactly how you feel.

It's one thing having your partner and your own mother there but giving birth is an intimate thing and I know for a fact that there's no way I could have his mum there. It's nothing personal against her but there's only certain people who I would like to see me in a vulnerable situation like that.

I also thought seriously about having my mum there cos I know how much she'd appreciate and enjoy the experience but in the end I decided that this is a special thing between me and Chris and that by having anyone else there it might take away from how special it is for us both becoming parents.

 

[Claire]

It's only going to be me and my husband in the room when I deliver. I could understand having my mother in the room, but no way would I have my MIL there! We just don't have the same kind of bond. Come to think of it, I don't even want any visitors in the hospital after the baby is born, not until I'm back at home and feel like myself again! Hope I'm not being selfish.

 

[AmberNicole]

I'm allowed 3 people in the room with me during delivery. I'm definately having my mom and my husband. I love my MIL and really wouldn't mind having her in the there as well.

 

[Urchin]

It's ridiculous your family are outraged by this!

Tell them it's you going through it and you are going to have final say...there is NO WAY I would have my MIL present, but then I don't think anyone in my family would expect me to have anyone there I didn't want.

Tell your husband you are nervous about it anyway and it would make you feel much more uncomfortable if she was there, if he pushes... put your foot down!
The compromise would be to say she can come in straight after, although I wouldn't be too sure if I would want that either. hehehe

 

[kelly_chunn]

Its totally up to you, you must feel comfortable what ever you decide. My first pregnancy i had, my husband and my mother there. The second pregnancy we where on our own ( home deliverely ) but this time we are going to have my nan there wiv us. You really need to b sure, and make sure ur husband understand .

Hope it all goes well

 

[Kerry]

From experience of being with women when they labour (I work as a doula / birth partner), you will have a much quicker easier labour if you only have the people in the room that you are happy to have.

There are studies that show we do better when left to get on with it without too many onlookers......years ago (as cavemen) women would go off into the woods to have thier babies and then come back when it was all done.

I once did a birth with a lady who had a planned home birth, at 9cms dilated we had to go into hospital as the baby was showing signs of distress, she was still doing very well at the hospital until news travelled around the family that she was there. Within an hour there was her mum, her sister, her husband and her MIL all in and out of the room.......the labour stopped and she ended up with a c-section.

Need I say more - you choose whats right for you - it can make or break your birth experience.

For more info on what I do as a doula see my web site www.doulasupport.co.uk - it's another option I suppose.

Good luck

 

[sasha715]

i agree with the other girls. i have said i want my partner there for emotional support, some love and attentions i suppose, and my mum to help me understand all the jargon that might be said or whats going on that i dont understand as she has had three children. and i have warned both that if i find they arent helping then i will ask them to leave me for a little while. only when the baby is crowning and on its way out will they be allowed back in so they can watch that bit. they dont really need to watch the "me in distress" bit !! xxx

 

[Rosebay]

My husband is so uncomfortable with ANYTHING to do with hospitals, blood, bodily bits etc that if he were to be there I know he would pass out (he has done that after just seeing blood and gore on telly) or at the very least be very disturbed by the whole thing and I don't want to have to be worrying about him at that time so I have totally excused him from being anywhere near the delivery room. My Mum has said that she'll be there but she'd rather not be at the gory end of things either!! Ironically enough the one person who'd have no probs with that side of things is my Dad! He's very scientific and apparently kept a notebook during my Mum's two labours of what was happening when in case she wanted to know later!! She didn't funnily enough!!

+++

 

[AmberNicole]

Rosebay, my husband is very squeamish as well! That's one of the reasons I want my mom there, to catch my DH when he faints!