Please could I have some advice there's no one I can speak to

Discussion in 'Am I Pregnant?' started by Whattodo, Dec 18, 2011.

  1. Whattodo

    Whattodo New Member

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    Hi, I already have a beautiful 20 month old lil girl. I broke up with her father in march. I'm now pregnant again with his child, he wants me to get rid of it. But secretly I wanted this, but now I feel so alone, my family don't like him and won't be impressed with the situation. I don't know what to do and I have no one to talk to. He's blaming all this one, I told him openly I wasn't on the pill and I wanted another child. He still slept with me not using any protection. I don't really see how he can dictate. Any advice would be appreciated. I do want this baby but I feel alone and scared. I haven't done this to get him back btw.
     
  2. katie_lou

    katie_lou Well-Known Member

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    to be honest hun i really dont know what to say to you ...its a very difficult situation. i think you should speak with your family they may not be happy with the situation but am sure they will support you.

    xxx
     
  3. kirstymichelle

    kirstymichelle Well-Known Member

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    You need to do what makes you happy , not what makes someone else happy ,, i'm afraid all men know the risks that sex=baby so that clears out trying to make him happy.

    I would say that any talk ot termination is forbidden here on PF x x x
     
  4. vixxie77

    vixxie77 Well-Known Member

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    I'm sure you'll cope fine with a new baby too and that your family will support you even if they're not too happy at first. You can't go through this alone, which your not, but you need to tell your family. As for your ex, well he knew the risks so doesn't get a say, its your body and you will have to live with your decision, not him x x
     
  5. roxane 1985

    roxane 1985 Well-Known Member

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    its completely uptou hun and u alone what u do

    either way your family will susport you as thats what families are for we support each other with things even though we dont agree on them.

    1) if you do decide to terminate because you feel maybe its not the best thing to do then that is your choice and you should never feel guilty no matter what anyone on here or anywhere else says. me personally im dead against termination but i believe everyone has a choice and its upto them.

    2) if you decide to keep it, ok it will be alot of hard work nobody on here will tell you anything other, but what we will all say is women are very strong and can cope wth things alot better than men and im sure your friends and family will support you every step of the way.

    3)this may sound wrong but ive experienced twatty dads and if you also decide to keep it you could consider not naming himon the birth certificate becauset hat automatically gives him oarental right - if i would you i would read up on that because they can make life very awkward for you as it gives them a say on schools, and medical treatment should they need it.

    good luck whatever you do xx
     
  6. Whattodo

    Whattodo New Member

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    Thank u all for your response tbh I don't want to terminate. I want this baby but don't think anyone else will agree with me. As to not naming him on birth certificate he is already on my daughters so he see's her twice a week ( when bothered). I really don't think. An tell family ATM. My best friend is suffering per natal depression so I haven't even told her as don't want to off load my troubles onto her. I have confirmation appointment on Monday at docs. Might help chatting to midwife. Thank you all. Xxx
     
  7. mummywanabe

    mummywanabe Well-Known Member

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    I had a friend years ago in a very similar situation, she did have a termination, she is now married to a lovely man but has found out they can not have another child, she really regrets the termination, she would love a little brother or sister for her son, at the end of the day its your life and your body but you need to to what's right for you and not your family or your ex.
    Good luck with your decision x
     
  8. Daisy2011

    Daisy2011 Well-Known Member

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    well i would lie in bed in the morning and really think about how you feel about baby inside you. You already do all the things with one child that you will do with two its just the nightime feeds and juggling baby and toddler at the same time but many thousands of women do it every year. No reason to think that you cant ? Your man sounds pretty rubbish , dont worry about him and dont let him pressure you into anything. Tell you family and freind - i say this becuase i had a bad bought of depression a few years ago and my "best freind" got pregant i knew from the first day but she didnt tell me for four months and every day i saw her i hoped that she would treat me like a true freind and confidant but she didnt and i felt really isolated from her. So tell people who love you, they can help you and will feel closer to you if you confide in them.
    So good luck congratulations
    x Daisy
     
  9. KMG

    KMG Well-Known Member

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    Hi,

    This is a really big decision and only one that you can make. You need to try and take thoughts of your ex out of the decision making.

    I cannot pretend to understand what you are going though if you cannot turn to family i am sure your friends will be there for you.

    In terms of birth certificate remember he can alway acquire parental responsibility by other means (Court Order / enter a parental responsibility agreement with you / re-register birth certificate) then he would an equal say as you.

    good luck with whatever you decide

    xx
     
  10. jules84

    jules84 Well-Known Member

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    Sounds like a toughie, but it would do him well to remember you didn't get preg by yourself!! Also he isn't going to disown his child's sibling anyway I don't think , he will come to terms with it.

    Good Luck with whatever you decide

    Hugs

    xxx
     
  11. Geminiblue

    Geminiblue Well-Known Member

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    IF youve coped with one you will cope with two nothing is impossible. He will have to get on with it. Massive congrats you sound like youve made up your mind just stick to your guns and everyone else who love you will support you and only you can really make yourself feel isolated....by isolating yourself from those you love. Take care look after yourself and get on enjoying life and living we only have one life lets not waste it hey xxxx
     
  12. Sarah7

    Sarah7 Well-Known Member

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    It's a horribly difficult situation to be in and I can't even imagine what it's like for you. Just really decide if it is right for you, nobody else. You wanted a child and now you're in that situation where you have one, if it is still right for you then you ought to do it, you'll be able to cope fine and your family will pull together and help you and support you I'm sure. You have one child and I'm sure they help with her and are supportive and always have been. Look after yourself and let people in to help you, they will be there when you need them because they love you and will love any child you have.
    Congratulations and I hope you work it all out. Also this forum is full of some amazing women who are incredibly helpful so they will all be here when you need to vent or anything.
    Good luck!
    xx
     

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