partner left me 1 month ago

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by smith, Jan 10, 2016.

  1. smith

    smith Member

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    Dear all I found out I was pregnant on 20th Nov and told my partner. I`m 38 and he's 34. We've been together for 2 years. I fell in love with him. He was such a gentleman. We did loads of fun stuff together and we 've bee away with our kids. We're goth divorced with a boy each. We didn't live with each other as He wanted to be near his son about 50 miles away. He has always been lovely. As soon as I told him I was pregnant He turned cold. He told me if I didn't have an abortion it was over.By the way this was a genuine accident. Then 2 weeks after that he told me he and his ex wife were getting back together. He didn't love her really, he just wanted to live with his son. I was distraught. Then after that I did some facebook snooping and saw that his ex wife was back together with her boyfriend. He sas now that too much has been said and done. He is angry with me for not having an abortion. We went for a scan and it showed that the baby is fine. He cried because he was hoping for a miscarriage. He told me he doesn't want to send any time with me and it's over . I dpn't know what to dø with myself . Dø I just accept tois is over? I'm 14 weeks pregnant.
     
  2. smith

    smith Member

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    He told me I am forcing him to be a father because I didn't terminate. I did think about it seriously but I have had one previously and I regretted it deeply. He says Thanks like, why did the other guy get let off the hook? He told me he's been as horrible as possible to me to try and make me have an abortion. Then He said he just stopped caring. I know all this is horrible but I just want my lovely man back. At the moment we're having 2 weeks of space. Is there any hope ?
     
  3. Maid of Kent

    Maid of Kent Well-Known Member

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    Why would you want to be with someone that can be so horrible to you? I'd tell him that he doesn't have to be involved but it's your baby too and you want to keep it. Then I'd cut all ties with him. You don't need someone like that and your baby doesn't deserve a father like him. Go and find your self a loving, decent man!
     
  4. Phoenix85

    Phoenix85 Well-Known Member

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    I agree with maid of Kent.

    Forget him.

    How could you be with him knowing he wanted you to abort your baby? Say he did say he'd b with you, wouldn't you feel upset knowing he didn't really want his child?

    I'm single too, the baby wasn't planned and the dad stopped talking to me before I was even late (neither of us knew about the pregnancy when we stopped seeing each other)
    I told him about the baby at about 9 weeks and he said he was glad I told him and wanted to be involved but he's not spoken to me since lol. It's his loss.
     
  5. Unicorn

    Unicorn Well-Known Member

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    I'm really sorry, what a horrible situation.
    I agree with what the others have said, he is obviously not the lovely man you thought he was and you and your baby deserve better xx
     
  6. smith

    smith Member

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    Thanks for replying. I know that actually our relationship was built on sand. I`m just so sad. It`s such a cliche but I thought we`d be together and I don`t know how to forget him while a part of him is growing inside me. I don`t know how to cope and deal with situation. I went back to work last week and it was good to be busy. I miss our old life so much. He told me he can`t be with me because if he is in a happy family with me his son will be jealous and he`ll lose him to his girlfriend`s boyfriend. I feel like the biggesr loser!
     
  7. Donna88

    Donna88 Well-Known Member

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    I agree with everyone else. What a horrible man, I know you love him and it's hard when he came across as such a nice and loving man before, but he clearly isn't the man he made himself out to be if he can say and do those things and treat you the way he has.


    Wishing for an abortion or miscarriage is awful, but to turn up to the scan, see the baby and be upset that it's healthy... I have no words for that


    I'm so sorry for you and I just want to hug you :( but you and your baby are better off without him, you can do it on your own, you both deserve so much better and one day you will see that.
     
  8. smith

    smith Member

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    Thank you. I know it's all horrible. I dream things are fine and I wake up thinking I'm havning a nightmare but it's really happening. It is good to come on here and get support. I was hoping that this was just a bad reaction and that he is going to be sorry. I really have never felt sø bad in my life. I just want to be happy again xxx
     
  9. Donna88

    Donna88 Well-Known Member

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    You will be happy again, just concentrate on you and your baby.

    Obviously I'm looking at this as an outsider, so I hope you don't think I'm being harsh. I just hope if he does come back to you, you are in a better position with your mind and realise that he isn't worth it. For him to have that reaction, to not care at all about you or the baby is awful :( If he'd said that he wasn't supporting the baby then I could say yes maybe just a bad reaction... but personally I wouldn't be able to get over him seeing the scan and being upset that nothing was wrong.


    Anyway, like I say-don't make it about him. It's about you and little one. You can get through this and be happier and stronger than ever xxx
     
  10. smith

    smith Member

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    Thanks. I really appreciate hearing this from strangers. I've been thinking that there must be something wrong with me for this to happen. I think when something like this happens, it makes you question everything. He's been such a big part of my life. How there's a massive hole. I know when the baby comes, it'll be busy. It just seems like time is endless x
     
  11. Donna88

    Donna88 Well-Known Member

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    I can understand that. I can't even begin to imagine how hard things are for you and how you feel right now :( but you'll get through it. Do you have family and friends close by who can help take your mind off things and make time fly a little more?
     
  12. smith

    smith Member

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    Yes. I'm very lucky. I have lots of friends and family close by. I'm just so down. I don't think I've ever dealt with relationship breakdown hell. I'mstuck. I wanted to keep this baby and I feel like I've lost everything. It hurts sø much that he can just forget about us. He keeps saying we weren't happy. But we were . He was always telling me how He loved me sø much. It's just so hard. Thanks for bring sø nice . Even total strangers have done møre for me that him x
     
  13. Airsle

    Airsle Member

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    Hiya, just another stranger chipping in. Focus on the positives and keep your friends and family around you for support. It's not going to be easy but he's the one that's missing out, nobody deserves how he has been to you and hopefully you realise that your baby is better off a single mum that wants him than an unhappy forced-together mum and dad..

    Sending you positive thoughts and hope you don't think my comment is too harsh :)
     

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