Parents Decision Not The Same As Mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'First Trimester' started by lauzie, Jun 13, 2005.

  1. lauzie

    lauzie Member

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    Hi Ladies,

    I found out 2 days ago i was pregnant, and i start a new job in the city with big prospects but i dont know how i go about starting a new job and them still keeping me on after i tell them im pregnant, ive signed a contract but can they still not take me on?

    Also my parents think im 2 young but ive already had 1 termination and i dont want another but i feel they are influencing me to have one...need advice on what to do im so confused.....Im 21 by the way.


    Thanks Lauz.

    xxxxx
     
  2. Nikki2003

    Nikki2003 Well-Known Member

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    Lauzie,

    I say do whatever you feel is right...if you want to keep the baby then keep it. Also I don't believe in abortions and think it's wrong my parents and all my family members strongly agree.....no offense but I don't get how your parents want you to do that to your baby, or any baby for that matter. What does an innocent baby do to deserve being aborted? Nothing! SO whatever you do don't abort the baby....if you don't want it or feel you aren't ready then adopt the baby out, if worse comes to worse...then be careful afterwards.

    Hope this helps!
     
  3. Guest

    Lauzie -

    I'm sorry to hear about the worries you're having. I think abortion is a very hard decision to make and should only be made if you feel you have no other alternatives. Do you have any idea's how far along you are already? By rights your employer have now taken you on and you are part of their company and should be accepted under any maternity policy they hold. Rightfully you also DO NOT have to tell them you are pregnant until you are 3 months - by then you are out of the danger zone, unless obviously your work involved putting pressure or danger onto the pregnancy - then you should tell them before hand. They are legally not allowed to sack you and they must give you maternity leave as stated in the contract or employee's handbook. See if they have a handbook, and tell then you would like a copy just so that you have a copy.

    As for any other decisions, it is ultimately up to you. If your employer is difficult - speak to CAB or someone who can legally put pressur eon them. After all, if you do get maternity pay out of them, you do not have to go back to working for them.

    Are you with a partner? Does he know about the baby?

    PM me if you want to chat.

    Thinking of you. xx
     
  4. Jessika

    Jessika Well-Known Member

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    Hiya,

    Just wanted to let you know your not alone - i found out a week ago that i am pregnant and am only 22 myself. Me and my partner went for our first scan this morning and I'm only 5 weeks.. I feel that i want to keep this baby but othertimes i feel too young etc so you are not alone. At the end of the day you need to do whayever your heart tells you to do.

    Best of luck babe xx
     
  5. bobtheunfortunateone

    bobtheunfortunateone Well-Known Member

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    Hi Lauzie! Do you want to keep the baby? First off all you have signed a contract so that is good from your point of view! But I do think you have to have worked there for one year before you are entited to maternity pay! But fist you need to deside if you want the baby, secondly it is the job, you are not too young, just probably scared as are many women at any age!I love my job, but I love to have a child more there is no reason why you cannot have both! wait until you have had your first scan (If you are keeping it) check everythink is ok and how many etc then talk to work and explain that you want to still work for them and you understand that you might not get maternity benifits, but you want to go back! Then it is finding someone to look after the baby, family childcare nursarys just because you are pregnant doesn't mean it is the end of your career! just get the scan out the way before you get anyone reactions! remeber you can cope otherwise it would not have happened to you! Everything happens for a reason!
     
  6. -Cat-

    -Cat- Well-Known Member

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    Hi Lauzie,
    The work situation is as follows, you are legally entitled to maternity leave of 26weeks and you di not need to notify your employer of your pregnancy untill 15weeks before your EWC (expected week of childbirth) yuo can start taking your leave 11weeks before your EWC or work up untill as close to the birth as you like, or your doctor advises.
    However to be eligable for SMP (Statutory Maternity Pay) you needed to have been working for your employer from the very start of your pregnancy, which you havent, Which means instead you will have to claim MA (Maternity Allowance) which is either 90% of your weekly income of £100 per week, which ever is less. This is actually payed by your local social security or Jobcentre, NOT your employer, so your employer should have no reason to begrudge you your leave. They will just have to get a temp replacement. You can return to work if you want, leave or take additional maternity leavewhich would be unpayed.
    If you have been making National insurance contributions for the last 2 years (ie you have been employed working 16hours a week or more for the last 2 years) you may be able to claim Contribution Based JSA for a further six months if you decide not to return to you job. All you need is to explain that your child care duties make you unable to continue your job and show that you are willing to work 16 hours a week or more depending on what your childcare duties permit.
    As for what you do with your baby, its entirly up to you, dont let anyone make the decision for you, there is no 'right age' when it comes to having a baby, in fact the younger you are the better it is in your body and the health of your child. Do you have a partner? if so how does he feel?
     
  7. Nikki2003

    Nikki2003 Well-Known Member

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    Lauzi,

    You're an adult so you don't need your parents permission for stuff like this. Good luck!
     

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