Panicking about going back to work/useless OH :(

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by Emamay, Jun 4, 2013.

  1. Emamay

    Emamay Well-Known Member

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    I had to go in to work today for a disciplinary meeting, which ended up dragging on for hours longer than expected, which resulted in OH having to give Cay his dinner.

    So, during an adjournment, I phoned to make sure he'd fed Cay, and he said yes, so I asked if he'd eaten everything, and OH was all "no, he's being grumpy and barely ate anything".

    Which basically boils down to "I tried feeding him for 30 seconds and gave up".
    Brilliant.

    Cay's a bit odd with his evening meal. He needs 5 minutes of "do you want tea?" "Look, here's your tea" "here comes Cays dindins" "yummy for Cays tummy" and so on. (This is time-irrelevant. We thought maybe he just wasn't hungry, so fed him later, still the same).
    After about five minutes of this, he'll suddenly realise what's occurring, and wolf the lot down, but to start with its almost like he doesn't know what the food is? Odd child.

    Anyway, so he hasn't had dinner tonight.
    Which is why I'm up at crap-AM, feeding Cay now because he's hungry.

    I also worry OH isn't gonna take him out anywhere or do anything with him during the day, so by the time I come home, I'ma have a cranky-pants to deal with.


    Stupidly, I'm not worried about the days a childminder will have him, just when OH has him :(
    And he's great with Cay, don't get me wrong... He bottle-feeds, nappy-changes etc (although I think I'll be getting his clothes out the night before... Lol)

    I'm babbling now.
    Stupid snoring men :(
     
  2. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    I did a few KIT days last week and OH had James (he had a few days off so it worked out well)

    I left a big long list but when it came down to it I just had to leave them to it.

    James is a very good eater so I knew he'd take his bottles. I must confess I didn't let OH give him any food though (we're BLW and OH isn't comfortable with feeding him yet)

    Depending on our work situation OH may have James when I go back in October and the advice I was given is to let him find his own way.

    It's hard as I am James' primary carer but if OH is looking after James then he needs to find his own way. As long as the basics are taken care of (feeding, changing bums, nap times) then I won't interfere too much!

    xxxxxxx
     
    #2 CARNAT22, Jun 4, 2013
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2013
  3. Emamay

    Emamay Well-Known Member

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    See... I'm fine with OH having his own way of dealing with Cay, cheering him up, making him smile, calming him down, etc.

    He's going to do things differently, and that's okay.

    All I ask -
    Bottles
    Bum
    Food
    Naps
    A little trip out, even to the shop at the end of the street.

    Bottles, bum, and naps - sorted. He can do all these things.
    He damn well better take him out.
    He (apparently) can't feed him.

    So I then get lumbered with the fallout. Cay didn't get his dinner yesterday, so I got woken up twice in the night when we've more or less had him sleeping through this last week.

    :wall:

    Maybe it'll be easier in a month or so once Cay can have real food? At least then if worst comes to the worst all he's gotta do is shove some broccoli on his tray and leave him to it... Xx
     
  4. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    I have a fab routine with James and I have explained to OH a million times why it is important to stick to it.

    OH is all like 'routines are boring' :shock:

    Give or take an hour (max) he feeds at same time everyday and he'll take everything he is given.... He has one long sleep (usually around lunchtime but sometimes a bit later) and he has bum changed before every feed.

    I was worried OH would try to mix things up a little but as far as I can tell he stuck pretty much to my routine and James was just dandy.

    I guess the issue is Cay isn't great at taking this certain bottle so Daddy needs to learn a little perseverance? Maybe let him do this bottle whilst you are there and nudge him in the right direction.

    Or else if he doesn't get the bottle down him, let him get up with bub??

    xxxxxxxxx
     
  5. babybee

    babybee Well-Known Member

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    I remember the days my dad had to take care of us when my mum was out. We were allowed to go to school with no socks if it was a hot day (gross), we'd be greeted with a big packet of crisps and a fanta when we were picked up from school. The best part was my dad having a snooze and us eating the rest of the ice cream in the tub!

    Total opposite to my mum who was very health conscious and wouldn't let sweets/crisps/fizzy drink come anywhere near our mouths!

    I know it's not much help but I have fond memories of the days my dad took care of us as it was so different to the usual routine my mum had. We got to do 'fun' things. Now sadly he's not with us anymore it makes those memories even more special!
    OH's will take good care of our babies in their own unique ways.
     
  6. kerrie89

    kerrie89 Well-Known Member

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    Awww this is so lovely xx
     
  7. Roo3

    Roo3 Well-Known Member

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    My oh looks after lo a day a week. To start with he thought he knew better and didn't stick to the routine. After a few weeks of lo being a complete nightmare oh realised my way was best and followed my routine! Don't get me wrong lo was a nightmare on those days, but oh had to realise for himself that routine etc was best. It was hard for me to keep my mouth shut as I'm a control freak but I did it and everyone is much happier now!
    My point is that you need to let your oh find his way. He'll soon realise what needs to be done with regards to feeds etc
     

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