Over protective?!

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by Flame, Jan 2, 2008.

  1. Flame

    Flame Well-Known Member

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    I wouldnt say you were being over protective, I think your MIL could be a bit more thoughtful about what she is doing and saying. Maybe you should tell her your baby isnt a toy and that she can hold her when you want her to hold her and it is for you to say whether everyone else can hold her and it is to HOLD her not have a shot at. My Grandads OH always says have a feel and i find that a little odd but its not offensive.

    My MIL is a bit of a moo to, we dont get on really and i would certainly say something if it was her.

    :hug:
     
  2. trixipaws

    trixipaws Well-Known Member

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    no i think i kno what u mean. i dont mind letting people hold millie, but if they just walked up and grabbed her off of me it would piss me off! and if someone else offered MY baby around that would bug me too!
     
  3. Flame

    Flame Well-Known Member

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    If you dont feel that you can speak to her then ask your OH to do it. I know its hard but try not to let her get to you, when she isnt around try and relax and dont think about her.
    If they say or look at you as though you are weird for not letting them pass her around like some parcel tell them she is your baby.
     
  4. muppetmummy

    muppetmummy Well-Known Member

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    It's perfectly normal to feel like that. I remember my cousin cuddling James when he was about a week old and feeling really jealous and upset about it. It's just instinct kicking in.
    I'd get your OH to have a word with her, I wouldn't like my baby being passed around so people could 'get a shot'. She's your baby and it's up to you to pass her around if you want to. MIL should back off!
     
  5. BabyLove

    BabyLove Well-Known Member

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    Im The Same .. If Not Worse :|

    My MIL Just Takes The Baby Out Of Her Crib & Actually Tries Everything To WAKE HER :x
     
  6. Flame

    Flame Well-Known Member

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    When she starts doing the passing round and do you want a shot thing you could try taking her off of her and taking Ava into another room out of the way, Eventually when you have taken her off of her a few times she might get the idea.

    As for the babysitting, you have to be completely comfortable that you are happy leaving Ava with her otherwise you wont be able to do you work when you are there and you dont want to end up loosing your job because of it. If you are not happy with her babysitting i would suggest you try and find someone else or try and find a nursery?
     
  7. BabyLove

    BabyLove Well-Known Member

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    Its The Most Infuriating Thing Isnt It! I Feel To "Shy" To Tell Her To Stop It & Just Wait For The OH To Pipe Up. Iv Told Him Now Tho So Hopefully Next Time He Will Open His Mouth Lol.

    and Thank You :) :hug: xx
     
  8. valentine

    valentine Well-Known Member

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    Oooh don't get me started on interfering MILs! Mine tried to open all DD's Christmas presents from under the tree and her Santa sack, that I had lovingly wrapped up for us to open together with OH (she was at ours on Christmas morning) - I was like, "erm, this is my moment, f off!" (well that's what I wanted to say, but surely its a parents place to hold their baby and open Christmas presents together on their first Christmas - particularly Christmas presents from Santa?!)

    Gggggrrr - and that's just the tip of the iceberg. She always says things like "she'll be needing a feed" - "erm, no she won't, I know her and she's fine". Its like they forget, I think, that you are with the baby 24/7 and they think they know them best even though they've only seen them a handful of times.

    Just wait til you get the mad old Leither (I'm from near Edinburgh too) with a hairy face poking their head into the pram and shouting at your daughter, asking for a shottie and touching her face - gah - that happened to me in Ocean Terminal today - I couldn't get away fast enough.

    Valentine Xxx
     
  9. Mrs_Jay

    Mrs_Jay Well-Known Member

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    argh i know exactly what you mean, when jack was younger MIL/FIL would always complain if he was asleep. would take over and acted like they knew best (like i thought he wanted feeding and they would take him off me and say no he just got win blah blah blah) now that hes a bit older he just likes crawling around and doesnt really want to be picked up sooo what do they do.. pick him up. Also certain noises scare him atm and they had lots of musical christmas stuff, so i said dont play them they'll upset him. so what did they do.. play them so he screamed. i took him back and we pretty much left after that.also my mum has him a couple of days a week becoz ive gone back to work and they found out ( they cant have him during the week becoz they work to.. so they demanded that that had him at the weekend :| ) aaaaaaagggggghh i hate Inlaws. haha rant over. but i defently understand where ur coming from. :hug:
     
  10. NIE

    NIE Well-Known Member

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    I must admit, I thought that I would have problems with my mil, but she has been an angel. :shock:

    She will come and give me a hand anytime I want/need and is happy to get stuck in with everything. (I have never needed any help so far but only invite her so she can be a part of Adams life)

    I will have to watch that she doesn't become to involved though as she might end up taking over.

    Keep us updated on how things are going. x
     
  11. Freya

    Freya Well-Known Member

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    This is my honest opinion.

    I understand why you are annoyed and I had same sort of problem with my MIL. I thought she wanted to take over.
    However she is not doing anything dreadful in fact she 'wants to show her grandchild off' if you look at it a different way - she wants to show YOUR child off - how very lucky that she wants to do this rather than have nothing to do with her. I think women are always closer to their own family than OH and your MIL prob knows this.

    I have made peace with MIL now and in fact now I am more relaxed so is she and the kids love her being here and playing with them. I am sure she will be a big help but if you don't want her to look after child don't let her.
    Good luck it will get better :hug:
     

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