one step forward 2 steps back

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by tinkerbates, Jul 16, 2013.

  1. tinkerbates

    tinkerbates Well-Known Member

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    Hi ladies,

    Whilst I am feeling much more positive about being a mummy than I was a few weeks ago, I still feel like we are getting nowhere fast with establishing any kind of routine with joey and I still find most days really really hard.

    It seemed like we had a decent routine going and then since my mum babysitting on Friday it's all gone out of the window. He will only settle for me, even daddy can't do it (he's fine with him the rest of the time just not for being put to sleep) he won't go to sleep anywhere apart from in my arms and OH had to very gently move him once he's sound asleep. During the day I can't move cos he's asleep on me and if I try to move he wakes up screaming. Last night he wouldn't go down at all so I was up all night with him asleep on my lap.

    I still have no time to wash my hair, eat, drink and the house is just getting worse by tge day. I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel at the mo. I'm exhausted, I feel a mess and my house is a mess.

    Everyone said 6 weeks was a turning point, well he's 8 weeks now and I don't know when this is likely to get better xx
     
  2. Em91

    Em91 Well-Known Member

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    XhugsX i know it feels like this will never end, but i promise it does! and though youll think i sound mental in 6mths time youll miss the days where you would get to sit and have cuddles!

    To be honest theres no way to get a set routine with a baby that young! a bath bottle and bed routine possibly but as far as feeds and sleep go babies change all the time

    Have you tried going for walks to get Lo to settle in the pram? do you have a sling you could try so you can get jobs done whilst LOs attached?
    In the early days getting out was my lifesaver i was losing my marbles indoors all the time looking at the housework i should be doing!
    dont wish it away though O is one next week and i wish id cherised the newborn days more. xx

    Using tapatalk can't see tickers
     
  3. Lynds77

    Lynds77 Well-Known Member

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    I think 12 weeks is supposed to be the turning point sleep wise. Although I didnt get a full nights sleep till my LO was 8mnths. Some babies just wont do it

    The best thing to do is get them used to self settling. they say you should put them to bed sleepy but awake. And if they cry leave them for 1min then go in and pick them up then soon as they are calm put them back down. the first few nights you might have to do that 50 odd times. But by the 3rd night they get it.

    It worked for us, we only had to pick up and put down 3 times on the first night and she got it. She has always been good at self settling, its staying asleep we have problems with!

    And the 9 month sleep regression. Argh xx
     
  4. Nutsyputs

    Nutsyputs Well-Known Member

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    I'm sorry your still finding it hard. fred was the same, he's now 4 months and probably for the last 3/4 weeks he has been more settled. He still falls to sleep in my arms but he is breast fed so often falls to sleep during feds. It honestly does get better. If I'm being truthful its probably only the lats month that i have enjoyed being a mum. Fred has no routine during the day other than he will nap sometime in the morning and sometime in the afternoon but again as he is breastfed and i demand fed its hard to get into a routine. I go to a few different mother and baby groups, these have kept me sane! You'll will be surprised how many mums are going through the same and feel the same.
     
  5. AmyQ

    AmyQ Well-Known Member

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    If he'll only settle on you I definitely recommend getting a sling. Babies will often slip into and out of routines so try not to worry it may not last long and might be nothing to do with your mum babysitting. Just make sure you eat and drink - you need your strength. Big hugs xxx
     
  6. PyscoFalcon

    PyscoFalcon Well-Known Member

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    Have you tried co sleeping? I had to co-sleep with Katie for 12 weeks then she would go into the cot bedside the bed but with side off and butted up to my side.

    We've only just put the side back on but she still grabs my arm or hand thru the bars to sleep (or wake me up on a morning)

    You can't rush babies. I also recommend a sling for daytime.
     
  7. Babybushie28

    Babybushie28 Well-Known Member

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    Big hugs Hun

    Why don't you try to co sleeping so you get some sleep, I often have Trey sleep on my chest in bed while I sleep, I put loads of cushions pillows around me so he's secure in my arms, 30 mins or do gives me enough of a power nap and he's sleepy enough to go back sleep when I put him in his basket.

    Also get out the house!! I understand about the housework as I'm a tad OCD and find it hard to relax when things need to be done, however of I'm out the house I don't think about it and i feel so much more relaxed just sitting on a bench in park people watching.

    Xxxxxxx
     
  8. Leah04x

    Leah04x Well-Known Member

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    No other advice, other than what the ladies have already mentioned. But I promise it does it better! It just all of a sudden clicks into place and you'll wonder why you got yourself so stressed/worked up.. Big hugs xxxxx
     
  9. tinkerbates

    tinkerbates Well-Known Member

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    He does settle well whilst we are out but 90% of the time he wakes back up the second we get in the house. We do get out a fair bit, I have to or I'd go insane!

    I'm not too bothered about getting up in the night, it's just the fact he then refuses to go back down thats a problem. He is currently sleeping in his pram which is getting far too small but his crib mattress is arriving tomorrow so OH and I have agreed we will start trying to get him to self settle.. wish us luck!

    I have ordered a sling today so I am hoping he likes it, it could well be a lifesaver!

    I think co sleeping could also be worth a try. I love that he loves me so much and needs his mummy but it's just so exhausting!

    Thanks so much for the replies ladies xxx
     
  10. ceebee

    ceebee Well-Known Member

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    Slings are really good but you have to find one that suits you both. Just be careful he doesn't overheat in this weather. I find Harry very challenging but then I have health issues so it's always a struggle. Some days I still feel like tearing my hair out but then he has a good day and it's the best thing ever. You LO is still really young, so just do what you have to do to get by - the other girls have suggested co sleeping so may be worth a try? Anything that gives you some peace! Hang in there and try to enjoy your time with him - I met a mum the other day who said her baby never likes cuddles and it made me really glad to have a clingy baby - I'm sure he won't be like that forever and I'll enjoy the cuddles while I can :) good luck xxx
     
  11. littlemonkey

    littlemonkey Well-Known Member

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    It might not seem like it now, but trust me there is light at the end of the tunnel! I know cos I was in it! It wasn't until LO was about 12 weeks I actually started enjoying being a mum. That coincided with me going to the GP for help with PND and adjusting my expectations about what to expect about life with a baby. Here's what's helped me

    Ask for help - Get your OH to do the housework, or ask your friends and family to come round and help.
    Forget anything else other than looking after your baby - my only goal each day is to make sure LO and I are clean, fed and napped enough each day! My housework only ever gets done at the weekend when OH is off or the odd time I have my mum over on weekdays.
    Stop worrying about routines! Your baby will do what they want when they want! If they only sleep for half an hour at a time and won't go any longer no matter how hard you try to make them, stop trying to make them and just make sure they get some naps in the day
    Get out of the house - I take LO for a walk every morning while he naps and take him out in the afternoon to friends, family shops, classes etc. These always coincide with naps, gets LO used to not sleeping on me.
    Try a dummy to put LO down to sleep on their own. I also have to swaddle LO if I put him down in the day. Try putting a top or something you've worn in LO's bed to get them to settle in it.
    Get used to doing things in the day while baby is awake - My son sleeps all nignt and doesn't do sleep in the day well! So I don't get much time to myself to do things. He is at an age now he will happily amuse himself on his gym, bouncer or play mat with me in the same room while I do bits and bobs. I put his cot mobile on and let him lie in bed and watch it while I jump in the shower in the morning. I've stopped wearing make up, but if I do want to he'll happily lie on my bed playing with my make up and watching me!
    I always still have my baby on my lap for one nap a day! I just hold him and watch telly or read my kindle. There will be a day when I will miss this, there will never be a day I wish I had spent more time cleaning the kitchen!
     

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