Oh god, I've got the fear!!!

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by rheannymac, Jul 19, 2013.

  1. rheannymac

    rheannymac Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2012
    Messages:
    2,182
    Likes Received:
    0
    Today I had a conversation with my mum about her friends grandson who is a wee brat, sounds horrible but he's not a nice little boy. He's very badly behaved and never takes a telling. My mum made a comment something like "You'll need to make sure Harrys not like that" and oh my days it's given me the fear!

    I've got to make sure Harry grows into a respectful, polite, good mannered, well behaved little boy. I'm the one who has to teach him right from wrong, I need to make sure he knows how to be well behaved and not throw tantrums and be bad. I need to make sure he knows how bad it is to hit or call people names. I need to make sure he thrives and reaches all his goals and dreams. Even things that seem ridiculous like, I need to make sure he knows that taking drugs is bad and should never be done. I need to make sure he knows how bad and horrific certain crimes are so that he never goes on to commit any...I know this all seems very dramatic but holy crap its only just really dawned on me what a massive deal that is!
    What if I don't do it right? What if I don't bring him up to be a good person with good values?

    I'm sitting here thinking about it all and I like to think I'm a good person. Yes I've made stupid mistakes as everyone has but I've never committed a crime, I've always respected people, I'm not a nasty person, I've always been a very positive person and like to think all this comes across in my personality and that this will all rub off on Harry.

    I'm just so worried that I'm simply just not a good enough mummy to teach him everything he needs to be taught! :'(
     
  2. AmyQ

    AmyQ Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2012
    Messages:
    1,303
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think every parent wants this for their child. In the end you can provide the teaching and tools and hope for the best.

    I am going to try to set a good example but i also know he is his own person so i can't control what he does
     
  3. tiaflame

    tiaflame Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2010
    Messages:
    3,452
    Likes Received:
    0
    I worry about the exact same things rheann. All we can do is bring them up in a stable loving home, correct them when they are doing wrong and make sure they know right from wrong. Hopefully they won't go far wrong xxx


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
     
  4. rheannymac

    rheannymac Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2012
    Messages:
    2,182
    Likes Received:
    0
    Very true girls.

    It's such a huge thing but I hope I can do right by him. I just always think back to the kids in high school who were skiving classes to smoke behind the bins and swearing at teachers and think to myself, how do I make sure he knows not to do that?! Surely these kids parents tried to bring them up not to do that?

    Like you said though Carrie, hopefully bringing them up in a loving stable home, & correcting them when they are going wrong will make sure they are on the right path! xxx
     
  5. Gayle30

    Gayle30 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2012
    Messages:
    5,484
    Likes Received:
    0
    Awe im sure with you as his mummy, wee harry won't go far wrong xxx

    tapatalking
     
  6. littlemonkey

    littlemonkey Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2012
    Messages:
    3,989
    Likes Received:
    0
    The fact that you're concern about how he turns out as an adult at this young age shows how much of a good parent you are! All you can do is lead by example, reward him for good behaviour and tell him when things are wrong.

    I get the fear about everything! I realised the other day I am going to have to train him to use the loo and that terrified me! My one just now is weaning. We've started early and I'm paranoid already about LO turning into a fussy eater like his dad. It's so much responsibility!

    I also got upset the other day cos I was showing LO photos and one was of my granny whose no longer with us. All I could think was how do I explain to a child what death is?! I have my beliefs in what happens to us after death, but I want LO to be able to make his own mind up too so don't want to bang on about my granny being in heaven all the time. I suddenly have so much more respect for my parents!!
     
  7. busymummy

    busymummy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2012
    Messages:
    1,181
    Likes Received:
    0
    You can only do your best Rheann. I was an angel as a child, one day of High School and my mum said I came home a completely different child. I was rather rebellious in High School, and have to admit I was one of the kids akivving to go for a smoke. BUT I like to think I'm doing a great job being an adult lol. Even wirh my rebellious stage, I've always known right from wrong, never been in trouble with the law and I am very caring. oh and I find manners essential! Its becoming hardwr to parent, but I think as long as you try your best to teach manners, caring, and right from wrong then you are doing a great job.

    And littlemonkey, I don't know how you feel about this, but I've told my little girl that when people die that they bexome stars in the sky. She understands that when someone dies they don't come back. It's a very difficult topic but its a part of life. I like the stars idea cauae me wee girl can look up at the sky and physically see the stars x
     
  8. BevG

    BevG Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2011
    Messages:
    7,806
    Likes Received:
    20
    if your fair and calm and make it clear what behaviour you expect all the way thru he will grow up to be a lovely respectful child, if you let bad behaviour slide and are inconsistant with discipline then thats what you get, its not always easy but ive seen many ppl let things slide cos their tired etc and it takes that little extra effort to be consistant in your rules etc, if you always make the effort then you wont have too many problems hun, you care and your going to set good rulesand boundaries and a good example so i cant see you having a problem, there aare always exceptions to the rules tho and some kids are just rebellious or difficult, for those kids just try your best and always love them, it'll work out ok in the end usually.
     
  9. knopk@

    [email protected] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2011
    Messages:
    8,058
    Likes Received:
    0
    Every child will throw temper tantrums as its part of their development but as a parents you need to be understanding and as Bev said condistency is the key. I skivved couple of times but i am still ok, teenage years arent easy.most of the times as hormones are raging.
    Prepare yourself for being kind, consistent and leading by example and i am sure he will follow.
    However dont forget every child is different.xxx

    Tapatalking so cant see signatures
     
  10. NavyLouise

    NavyLouise Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2012
    Messages:
    1,679
    Likes Received:
    0
    I know how you feel, this thought dawns on me every now and again and it's so overwhelming!
    I think you answered your own question though because you said you are a good person, kids mostly lead by example so just carry on being you and he'll turn out fab! :)
     
  11. rheannymac

    rheannymac Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2012
    Messages:
    2,182
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks girls, you're all so fab.
    Just had a bit of a wobble! Harry has so many amazing positive influences in his life aswell that I'm sure he will grow up to be a wonderful boy. Just silly little doubts of my own abilities I think! Xxx
     
  12. ceebee

    ceebee Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2011
    Messages:
    4,168
    Likes Received:
    0
    This always worried me - I know it's stupid to be thinking about this now, but I'm most scared about what sort of teenager he'll be. I was a complete nightmare! Really hopes he takes after my DH who was a good boy:) xx
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice