Off topic but worried about my lil man :-(

Discussion in 'Third Trimester' started by Ammdaz, Jun 11, 2013.

  1. Ammdaz

    Ammdaz Well-Known Member

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    My little man has just turned 4. I think he's struggling with the idea of the new baby. In the beginning he was excited but in the last few weeks he's been really acting up, lots of tantrums and really clingy. He goes to nursery three days a week and he was starting to get really settled there and do well but that's all changed, he now cries every morning before he goes and clings to us when we drop him off. The staff had been telling me that he was ok after we left but today one of them took me aside and said that he has actually been getting a bit upset through the day and that he'd actually asked when the baby comes who was going to love him :-( I think his behaviour is probably quite a normal reaction and I'm doing my absolute best to reassure him and to deal with it but what is really concerning me is that my due date happens to be the day he starts primary school. I'm absolutely worried sick about how he is going to cope with two such massive changes in his little life at the same time, especially if his recent behaviour is anything to go by. I just don't know how to help him :-( xxx
     
  2. glowing

    glowing Well-Known Member

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    What about a few little treats off the baby. Then reinforce your feeling for your son and that when the baby arrives there will someone else who loves him as much.
     
  3. Bbybump16

    Bbybump16 Well-Known Member

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    We've had the same my little boy is 6 he said that he will pack his bags and move out bless him , he started not wanting to go to school too all we have done is sit and talk to him ask him if he has any questions , we then took him out to buy Eliza a pressie to bring to the hospital which he picked and when she's here she taking him to toys r us to pick one , I've said he can help me bath her and we can take her swimming he is getting more excited now
     
  4. Ammdaz

    Ammdaz Well-Known Member

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    Treats from the baby is a good idea, thanks :) I'd already planned for baby to give him a present when she arrives but maybe something before then would help too. I also like the idea of telling him that the baby will be someone else to love him, I tell him often how much I love him and that when the baby comes that won't change, I will just make more love but its obviously still playing on his mind bless him so that could be a way of putting a different spin on it xxx
     
  5. Ammdaz

    Ammdaz Well-Known Member

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    Aww bless him! My son asked me if we could just leave the baby outside lol! I've tried talking to him but I think he has a bit of trouble expressing exactly what his worries are and instead it comes out as tantrums and playing up. I'm going to keep trying though. Xxx
     
  6. mummywanabe

    mummywanabe Well-Known Member

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    My cousin gave her son 'treats' or a new toy from his new vaby brother he was about the same age and had started acting the same way as your son but it made him feel special and they kept telling him how special a big brother is and how much help he was going to ve and how he and baby would be good friends, he now loves his little bro hes so protective and very caring with him
     
  7. Ammdaz

    Ammdaz Well-Known Member

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    Thanks, I'll defo try the treats and keep reiterating to him about being a special big brother. I think he will be caring with her when she's here or at least most of the time but I do worry that he's going to act jealous as well xxx
     
  8. Colourmeblue

    Colourmeblue Well-Known Member

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    Ah poor little darling. He sounds so cute. Just keep reasurring him hun, and the present from the baby sounds like a good idea. Try not to worry about ur due date being around the time he starts school, somehow you will make it work. Baby may be early or late anyway, so try not to stress about that now. My daughter is a little older (nearly 10) so im grateful that she is old enough to be understanding and shes been wanting a sibling for so long that she is just soooo happy right now. That said, a couple of months ago I put one of the baby scan pictures into a photo frame and up on the shelf aside her pictures. Not thinking anything of it, i moved one of her photos to the side and put the baby scan picture in the middle. Later on she came up to me and asked if i was going to take all her pictures down once the baby was born and replace them with just photos of the baby. I was kind of shocked that she felt that way, so i reassured her that her photos will stay exactly where they are and that we will just add baby pictures to them and photos of her and the baby together. She felt better, but just goes to show that even though she is older, children still have these insecurities when a little brother or sister comes along. xx
     
  9. Ammdaz

    Ammdaz Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for your reply. I will keep reassuring him the best I can. I know you're right, we'll sort something out about the school thing and she's unlikely to come on the due date anyway, it's just at the back of my mind that what if I can't be there on his first day :-( to be honest I'd probably be more upset about it than him because we have plenty of people we can rely on to help us including my parents who he is very close to and he'd actually probably love his nanny coming to pick him up!

    Aww bless your daughter, it's funny isn't it what little things play on their mind. I wish my son was a bit better at expressing exactly what it is that's bothering him because I reckon it probably is one or two funny little things that I could easily reassure him about but all he says is he doesn't know bless him. I'll keep gently trying! Xxx
     
  10. Colourmeblue

    Colourmeblue Well-Known Member

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    What a cutie. He prob doesnt really understand himself what exactly is bothering him. Im sure it'll all work out fine, I think they all have these little insecurities xx
     
  11. specialbump

    specialbump Well-Known Member

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    my sons coming up 9 and we have the same problem i dont know if hes feeling he will be pushed out or what we have arranged some treats for him like days out and my partner and i will take it in turns spengind the days with him so hes not with the baby all the time but then other days we will have family days he said hes sick of people saying the want to take the baby out and dont want to take him,i assured him that any 1 who wants to take the baby for a walk E.G family wont be able to without takeing his big brother aswell i wont have him singeld out,having a baby can be really scarey for kids when they are used to ur 100% attention im a child minders assistand and see the changed in siblings once baby comes and u see the difrecne with the kids that get pushed out when the focus is soley on the little one its not nice so on the plus side i know what to look for and know not to ever let him feel pushed out.my friend fosters and my sons been fab looking anf fussing over the little baby girl shes got atm and he loves and adores her anf often asks to help out but his behaviour has been all over and been a sod i think its excitment and fear takeing over at the same time,im sure our boys will be fine :)

    i want to get him somthing special off the baby but our income isnt that gr8 to be honest and we havnt a clue what we can get for him so if any 1 thinks of anything please do let me know


    i hope ur little one settles down when baba comes im sure its a fear and excitment thing too but they can be so testing at times xx
     

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