Ocd & ttc

[Sparklegirl]

Does anyone else suffer with OCD? I have that and anxiety which makes my TTC a ball at times but the show must go on!

 

[PeanutButter]

I haven't actually been told I have an ocd, but I do find my life a bit controlled by the thoughts i have lol ... like you need to walk this side otherwise something bad will happen... or you need to use this colour peg or hubby will leave me... things like that, quite often in everyday things. I also have anxiety, everytime i used to leave the house I nearly cried, thinking someone would break in and steal my dogs, or there'd be a fire. I still feel sick leaving the house and make sure everythings turned off, most times i walk back home just to make sure I locked the for even though I know i did. I nail bite/pick and my leg is always twitching. At work i cant do either and ive noticed I'm biting the insides of my cheeks which I never used to do. I hate social situations aha. I sound so weird but I'm normal, i just hide it xD tbf i don't think it's affected me ttc ... apart from when I'm too anxious, but thats pretty rare now xx

 

[tinselcat]

I have ocd but it never affected TTC to my knowledge. I did find it more stressful during ivf when I had to inject myself twice daily and was worrying I did it wrong, and the first time I went under GA for egg collection xx

What are you finding stressful about TTC? Xx

 

[Sparklegirl]

I haven't actually been told I have an ocd, but I do find my life a bit controlled by the thoughts i have lol ... like you need to walk this side otherwise something bad will happen... or you need to use this colour peg or hubby will leave me... things like that, quite often in everyday things. I also have anxiety, everytime i used to leave the house I nearly cried, thinking someone would break in and steal my dogs, or there'd be a fire. I still feel sick leaving the house and make sure everythings turned off, most times i walk back home just to make sure I locked the for even though I know i did. I nail bite/pick and my leg is always twitching. At work i cant do either and ive noticed I'm biting the insides of my cheeks which I never used to do. I hate social situations aha. I sound so weird but I'm normal, i just hide it xD tbf i don't think it's affected me ttc ... apart from when I'm too anxious, but thats pretty rare now xx

That read as if had been typed by me. I have a lot of routines that I have to keep in fear of bad things happening, certain things have to be in the 'proper' place or I will have a bad day, if I wear something and its a bad day I am afraid to wear it again in case it caused the bad day and it happens again when wearing it. Shoes have the be perfectly together and facing the right way in a straight line etc it is exhausting

I bite around my nails (they are lovely and long so I never bite them) and the inside of my cheek every day. Of course you are normal- its just coping mechanisms xx

 

[PeanutButter]

Yes I hate the clothing thing waste of clothes aha! I remember buying an amazing bag and then threw it away cos I thought it was bad. I can't put shoes on surfaces... so taking them to the checkout is awful i just stand there and wait for someone to take them off of me aha. xx

 

[Sparklegirl]

I have ocd but it never affected TTC to my knowledge. I did find it more stressful during ivf when I had to inject myself twice daily and was worrying I did it wrong, and the first time I went under GA for egg collection xx

What are you finding stressful about TTC? Xx

I think I worry about all of TTC, I stress that if I do something 'wrong' through the day or we do it at the wrong time or I dont 'try hard enough' I wont get pregnant that day. It is the negative intrusive thoughts that affect my TTC journey really. I am hard on myself and think maybe if I didnt worry so much I would be pregnant by now or stupid things like that xx

 

[Sparklegirl]

Yes I hate the clothing thing waste of clothes aha! I remember buying an amazing bag and then threw it away cos I thought it was bad. I can't put shoes on surfaces... so taking them to the checkout is awful i just stand there and wait for someone to take them off of me aha. xx

So pleased its not just me! I cant put them on the counter either I hold them out to the cashier because 'bad luck' I am awfully superstitious too. I put clothes back into the wardrobe and try not to think about it the next time I wear them but thats so hard for me. My obsessions are hard work! xx

 

[tinselcat]

I think I worry about all of TTC, I stress that if I do something 'wrong' through the day or we do it at the wrong time or I dont 'try hard enough' I wont get pregnant that day. It is the negative intrusive thoughts that affect my TTC journey really. I am hard on myself and think maybe if I didnt worry so much I would be pregnant by now or stupid things like that xx

Ah I see

These sort of thoughts aren't helped by people saying "oh you need to relax and then it'll work" are they. That kind of comment always irritated me. Then after my first round of IVF they had only poor quality embryos and I thought - these have been cultivated in the best laboratory conditions etc and they are still not viable, so whether I 'relaxed' or not would have had nothing to do with the outcome!

Have you sought therapy for OCD? The symptoms you describe sound very treatable. I have counselling before and it helped. I am currently having counselling for anxiety and even though I don't think much of the therapist this time, it has still been useful.

 

[Sparklegirl]

I think I worry about all of TTC, I stress that if I do something 'wrong' through the day or we do it at the wrong time or I dont 'try hard enough' I wont get pregnant that day. It is the negative intrusive thoughts that affect my TTC journey really. I am hard on myself and think maybe if I didnt worry so much I would be pregnant by now or stupid things like that xx

Ah I see

These sort of thoughts aren't helped by people saying "oh you need to relax and then it'll work" are they. That kind of comment always irritated me. Then after my first round of IVF they had only poor quality embryos and I thought - these have been cultivated in the best laboratory conditions etc and they are still not viable, so whether I 'relaxed' or not would have had nothing to do with the outcome!

Have you sought therapy for OCD? The symptoms you describe sound very treatable. I have counselling before and it helped. I am currently having counselling for anxiety and even though I don't think much of the therapist this time, it has still been useful.

Exactly- "relax, you have plenty of time yet it will happen when it happens" makes me furious even though I know they are trying to help it really doesn't.

I am a counsellor and as part of the training we had to have months of our own therapy. This didnt really help me, her orientation as a therapist did not suit me as a client and I am still left with OCD as bad as ever. Apart from the intrusive thoughts etc I also have the compulsive hand washing and panic about certain hygiene things. Apparently I am a 'difficult' client because I subconsciously use my knowledge/abilities to redirect the session to where I am more comfortable.

 

[Charlotte9]

I don't have an ocd as such but I know who does. Its awful thing
Feels like the person is trapped and constantly controlled. x

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[GF91]

I do, I have to do everything in 3's- so I check everything 3 times! It's a nightmare when going out it takes me about 15-20 mins just to get out the house. I'll run up and down the stairs 3 times checking things like my straighteners and the iron is unplugged (even if I've not used them!!) count the dogs 3 times, check the lights are off, back doors locked, and I'll unlock and lock the door 3 times before getting in the car & and then I'll pull off the drive and shut the gate & then get in and out the car 3 times checking the gate is shut and bolted properly! Drives OH up the wall! Even checking my LG before I go to bed I have to do it 3 times! And I'll always ask "did I shut that" or "did I lock that" or "was such & such turned off?" I'm terrible if I'm on my own but if I'm going out with someone they've all learnt to watch what in doing so when I get in the car & ask- they can say yes it's shut or yes it's off ect ect xxx

 

[Sparklegirl]

I don't have an ocd as such but I know who does. Its awful thing
Feels like the person is trapped and constantly controlled. x

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Yeah its not great to have. I tend to be ok if I can stay home and follow my own little routine. I am very anxious about bad things happening and they bother me every day x

 

[Sparklegirl]

I do, I have to do everything in 3's- so I check everything 3 times! It's a nightmare when going out it takes me about 15-20 mins just to get out the house. I'll run up and down the stairs 3 times checking things like my straighteners and the iron is unplugged (even if I've not used them!!) count the dogs 3 times, check the lights are off, back doors locked, and I'll unlock and lock the door 3 times before getting in the car & and then I'll pull off the drive and shut the gate & then get in and out the car 3 times checking the gate is shut and bolted properly! Drives OH up the wall! Even checking my LG before I go to bed I have to do it 3 times! And I'll always ask "did I shut that" or "did I lock that" or "was such & such turned off?" I'm terrible if I'm on my own but if I'm going out with someone they've all learnt to watch what in doing so when I get in the car & ask- they can say yes it's shut or yes it's off ect ect xxx

It is exhausting! I have a thing about numbers, I hate 4 and 6 without any reason at all it has been that way since I was little. I have to repeatedly check I have locked things and have everything turned off too. Things have to be in exactly the right place facing the right way (like tins in the cupboard) and not off even a little. I hate driving anywhere and having to leave the car in a car park, I always worry that something is going to go wrong. Kettle, microwave, toaster anything like that has to have the plug switched off. The lights (in my living room I have 2 light switches) have to be clicked the right way, it HAS to clicked down to be on and up for off- if my husband uses the other light switch in the room it knocks out the 'proper' way and it gets to me. Sounds stupid I know but thats my life lol.

Have you always had the thing with the number 3? Its interesting to talk to other people who are similar because people who dont have it dont always understand how important it is to us xxx

 

[GF91]

It is exhausting! I have a thing about numbers, I hate 4 and 6 without any reason at all it has been that way since I was little. I have to repeatedly check I have locked things and have everything turned off too. Things have to be in exactly the right place facing the right way (like tins in the cupboard) and not off even a little. I hate driving anywhere and having to leave the car in a car park, I always worry that something is going to go wrong. Kettle, microwave, toaster anything like that has to have the plug switched off. The lights (in my living room I have 2 light switches) have to be clicked the right way, it HAS to clicked down to be on and up for off- if my husband uses the other light switch in the room it knocks out the 'proper' way and it gets to me. Sounds stupid I know but thats my life lol.

Have you always had the thing with the number 3? Its interesting to talk to other people who are similar because people who dont have it dont always understand how important it is to us xxx

I'm not too bad with the tin labels but everything has to be in height order & put back exactly where it came from. I've also got a real thing about disinfectant and when my anxiety levels rise I just clean everything with disinfectant. Jay will come home and complain the house smells like a tattoo shop- that dettol smell, but it makes me feel better!
I was born 3rd of March- so 03/03 so they think it stems from that. I've always been funny about checking things like my straighteners- even as a kid. But since I was diagnosed with PTSD my OCD has got worse. But it's 3 of everything in this house. 3 of us & 3 dogs Xxx

 

[Sparklegirl]

It is exhausting! I have a thing about numbers, I hate 4 and 6 without any reason at all it has been that way since I was little. I have to repeatedly check I have locked things and have everything turned off too. Things have to be in exactly the right place facing the right way (like tins in the cupboard) and not off even a little. I hate driving anywhere and having to leave the car in a car park, I always worry that something is going to go wrong. Kettle, microwave, toaster anything like that has to have the plug switched off. The lights (in my living room I have 2 light switches) have to be clicked the right way, it HAS to clicked down to be on and up for off- if my husband uses the other light switch in the room it knocks out the 'proper' way and it gets to me. Sounds stupid I know but thats my life lol.

Have you always had the thing with the number 3? Its interesting to talk to other people who are similar because people who dont have it dont always understand how important it is to us xxx

I'm not too bad with the tin labels but everything has to be in height order & put back exactly where it came from. I've also got a real thing about disinfectant and when my anxiety levels rise I just clean everything with disinfectant. Jay will come home and complain the house smells like a tattoo shop- that dettol smell, but it makes me feel better!
I was born 3rd of March- so 03/03 so they think it stems from that. I've always been funny about checking things like my straighteners- even as a kid. But since I was diagnosed with PTSD my OCD has got worse. But it's 3 of everything in this house. 3 of us & 3 dogs Xxx

Oh yeah I love height order! Ah that makes sense 03/03 mine is 30th so I love that number but I couldn't check things that many times or I would never leave the house. Stuff has to go back in its right palce or I go mad at my husband- same with leaving lights on or taps dripping/running. My mum was like you when I was a kid so I think some of my stuff was learned behaviours but not the thoughts. What sort of dogs do you have? xxx

 

[GF91]

A English bull terrier, a chihuahua & an alapaha blue blood bulldog. Xxx

 

[Sparklegirl]

A English bull terrier, a chihuahua & an alapaha blue blood bulldog. Xxx

One of my friends has an EBT. I love chihuahuas and bulldogs. I am a dog person, I have whippets xxx

 

[Charlotte9]

Girls have you tried reversing your ocd thoughts? What I mean is when you want to check something 3 times think in reverse: if I check this 3 times then my condition will get only worse and I will never recover. My friend tried it and it works. She has stopped checking stuff around the house. In my opinion ocd is triggered by stress. Stressful day means ocd 10x worse that day. So relaxation is the key too. X

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[RainbowShower1]

I have OCD too. It makes TTC worse because I get stuck in obsessions hope you are okay x

 

[Sparklegirl]

I have OCD too. It makes TTC worse because I get stuck in obsessions hope you are okay x

I understand that feeling. Not great is it? We will get through it, baby dust! x