now what ?

[claire_louise]

right following on from my post finding out my ex's parents know nothing about baby, what do i do ?? i cant write them a letter explaining theyre welcome to see her if they dont know she exists

i've tried to sit down and write something, but it ends up sounding like i've botched it together.

i dont expect the ex's brother to tell them, i mean its not his place.

im normally fairly good with wording things (contray to what my posts may suggest at times lol) but this has got me completely stumped

 

[keli]

I think i'd get the ex's brother to tell them if i were you, also he can test the water iykwim?.. then if they're interested i'd write them a letter or get in touch. Good luck with it all i hope you get the result your looking for xxxx

 

[claire_louise]

hmm was tempted, but i dont really want to ask him, cos i mean its going to be kinda difficult to tell them, and its not his responsibility

 

[claire_louise]

right heres the latest in what feels like a never ending saga, i swear i'd be going insane if it wasnt for this site!!

i now have his home phone number to speak to his parent, thanks to his brother

and this morning i woke up to find a lovely text from his sister, telling me how she cant wait to meet me, really wants to be part of baby's life, because her son will be baby's cousin, and apologising for her bro being a dick

considering how nice her and tim have been im now under the impression my ex must have been switched at birth, because theres no way they could be related

 

[keli]

Lol. Thats really nice of his sister to send you that message So have you rang his parents????

 

[claire_louise]

yep after about an hour of debating last night i spoke to his mum, she found out yesterday anyway, dont know if his sister told her, or whether his sis made him tell her

so she was understandably quite shocked. im fairly sure it was my ex who answered the phone, but him n his dad sound alike so might not have been,

all she kept saying was 'ok i see' so i had a bit of a plan, i said quite defensively 'well im not expecting you to want to be involved i just wanted to give you the choice' at which point she completely changed and was like 'of course we want to, we'll have to arrange to meet up'

im not sure how i feel now, what if they try and make him meet his daughter cos they think its the right thing to do?

 

[LisaJ1986]

If you don't feel comfortable with him seeing her, especially if he aint interested, tell them!!! She's YOUR daughter. This is where you have every right to put your foot down and stand upto them!

 

[mummykay]

wow, glad they seem keen to have some sort of relationship with her hun

but with regards to baby seein the sperm donor, thats ur choice and no one elses

 

[claire_louise]

i always said i'd never stop him seeing his daughter, as my friends ex finance ran off with his best mate and took my mates son with them (badly worded sorry) and i know how much it hurts my mate, he's lucky if he gets 2 pics a yr. BUT he's different in that he cares about his son, and my ex doesnt care about his daughter.

i think from now on i will try not to worry, and take every day as it comes

 

[keli]

i think from now on i will try not to worry, and take every day as it comes[/quote]

That sounds like a good idea .. i hope its that easy for you xx

 

[claire_louise]

hehe i highly doubt it will be!

thing is im sick of thinking, if he wants to see her it means blah blah or if he doesnt it means such and such just got to wait and see

 

[claire_louise]

well his sister text me again last night

she's on the island the end of feb and really wants to meet up. again apologised for chris's behaviour and said how much they all want to be part of baby's life .. this is good BUT she also said chris still doesnt know that his family know, theyre waiting till after christmas to talk to him . part of me thinks, ok fair enough they want a nice family christmas, the other part thinks ... oh im sorry i wouldnt want their christmas to be interupted by something as small as his daughters life!!!!!

please excuse me talking to my self in this post, it's actually keeping me sane

 

[mamichuli]

Hun, i understand exactly how you feel about the family not talking to him before Christmas....it is a reasonable reaction. I see it this way, given that i can be more objective than you and that i have a teenage daughter who is almost a grown up. (This may not make sense, but I have a slightly different perspective on things) I know from experience that speaking to grown up children, and I count my daughter as an adult -is not easy at the best of times. I can imagine his parents are upset and hurt that they had not been told by their own son and will want to have it out with him, big time On the other hand, there are other people in the family group who will be affected and they do not want to ruin other peoples (their other children, for instance) Christmas. It is a difficult thing for them and i doubt very much from what you write, that it is a lack of interest or importance vested in the situation, more likely the opposite. They want to talk to him when there is nothing else to distract the issue either.

They seem to be very positive about it and want to be a part of your LO's life, and that is lovely. Hope you have a super Christmas , relax and rest up, you need it!

Lisa