Now that we are trying I am terrified

[Alma1234]

Hi everyone, im new here, so I hope I’m doing this correctly.
I would need your advice I’m 30 years old and for a few months now I am only having my period for 2 days (last time it’s only been 1.5 days) rather than 6 which was normal. I also noticed being super dry during my circle and pretty much 0 discharge. My Doctor initially said it might be due to lockdown.. and since this had not changed in 3 months and I’m not stressed, we started considering things like Pocs or early perimenopause. I had also taken some pregnancy tests (as one never knows) and when they showed up as negative I was very disappointed.
My fiancé and I always spoke about having children and we set a lose date for end of this year to try.. now with the fear of having fertility issues we decided to start giving it a try now.. thinking my chances of getting pregnant are very small. in the meantime my blood work came back and all hormonal levels are within limits.

For months I was thinking how lovely it would be to have a baby, but now I am absolutely terrified that I got pregnant first time round (and we had a lot of sex, apologies for the tmi) to the point that I really hope that nothing has happened and it would feel like the worst thing in the world if it had. We are also getting married in July, and prone to move to another country this year (once the pandemic is manageable). Also my parents live in another country. I thought of all the factors before we stated trying this month and thought, that it’s manageable and okay. But now I’m just absolutely terrified and think I’m stupid to have started trying for a baby and just hope that nothing has happened..

Can anyone relate, is this normal?

 

[Littleperson]

I can’t relate to the being terrified part!


But after years of being on birth control when I came off my period was super light and lasting about 3 days. But so light. I fell pregnant after 5 months of trying but sadly miscarried. it has been 16 months since the miscarriage. For 5 months I had no period at all after it. Then I got my period back but even lighter than before and only lasts 36 hours. But I found out almost 2 weeks ago that I’m pregnant again. It might end like the last one. But the point it it is possible to conceive with a really short and light cycle!

If I were you I wouldn’t wait. It can take longer than you’d think! Babies are such a blessing, if it happens fast just consider yourself extremely lucky xxx

 

[WaterLilly]

I can relate a little bit. When I was pregnant with my first, we weren't really trying but an accident happened (I was 22 at the time) and I remember spending that two week period freaking out and wondering if I could even handle having a child and trying to juggle college and a job. I am pretty sure I replayed every scenario in my head on how this wouldn't work and how I would be struggling for the rest of my life trying to manage it all. But funny thing is, after having her, everything fell into place. I am not going to lie, it was still difficult especially since she didn't sleep but I promise you, it was worth every second.

She's now 7 and she's one of the greatest things that ever happened to me. All that worrying was for nothing since no matter how I tried to envision it, all the pieces fell into place. And to be honest, I don't think you will ever feel ready. You just will be

So long story short, I think you're feelings are totally normal.

 

[Alma1234]

Thank you @Littleperson for your message! I am so happy for you and wish you all the very best! I’ll keep my fingers crossed and am sure all will work air well for you

 

[Alma1234]

@WaterLilly thank you for your reassurance maybe you are right. I think it is also the current uncertainty with the pandemic, new job, and about to move to a new country where we have no support network (family). I can see that your love overweighted your worries! Thank you so much for your words

 

[Alma1234]

Hello @WaterLilly and @Littleperson thank you again for your kind words! I thought I’d give you an update, that is that I tested positive a bit more than a week ago and am super excited! I was not sure why I was terrified now I’m terrified I’ll lose it, as my breasts were tender before missed period but now no longer and have no other symptoms (I’m 4W and 6d).. all these emotions
I hope you are both well!

 

[WaterLilly]

Hello @WaterLilly and @Littleperson thank you again for your kind words! I thought I’d give you an update, that is that I tested positive a bit more than a week ago and am super excited! I was not sure why I was terrified now I’m terrified I’ll lose it, as my breasts were tender before missed period but now no longer and have no other symptoms (I’m 4W and 6d).. all these emotions
I hope you are both well!

Yay! Congratulations! I also tested positive around the same time. I am 4w4d currently! Such exciting times!

And don't stress about the no symptoms. I also had symptoms in the beginning and now nothing! No morning sickness or sore boobs or even being tired/exhuasted. It's hard to even think I am pregnant because I have nothing to show for it yet. But that is normal too! Not everyone gets symptoms and if you don't have any, you're one of the lucky ones so count your blessings!

Don't forget to check back to keep us posted! Wishing you a H&H pregnancy!

 

[Laneylaura]

Hi everyone, im new here, so I hope I’m doing this correctly.
I would need your advice I’m 30 years old and for a few months now I am only having my period for 2 days (last time it’s only been 1.5 days) rather than 6 which was normal. I also noticed being super dry during my circle and pretty much 0 discharge. My Doctor initially said it might be due to lockdown.. and since this had not changed in 3 months and I’m not stressed, we started considering things like Pocs or early perimenopause. I had also taken some pregnancy tests (as one never knows) and when they showed up as negative I was very disappointed.
My fiancé and I always spoke about having children and we set a lose date for end of this year to try.. now with the fear of having fertility issues we decided to start giving it a try now.. thinking my chances of getting pregnant are very small. in the meantime my blood work came back and all hormonal levels are within limits.

For months I was thinking how lovely it would be to have a baby, but now I am absolutely terrified that I got pregnant first time round (and we had a lot of sex, apologies for the tmi) to the point that I really hope that nothing has happened and it would feel like the worst thing in the world if it had. We are also getting married in July, and prone to move to another country this year (once the pandemic is manageable). Also my parents live in another country. I thought of all the factors before we stated trying this month and thought, that it’s manageable and okay. But now I’m just absolutely terrified and think I’m stupid to have started trying for a baby and just hope that nothing has happened..

Can anyone relate, is this normal?

I have felt terrified as well. Even though I made the choice to start trying, there were times that I hoped my period would come and I’d have more time to mentally prepare. I felt guilty and selfish and terrified at times. This is HUGE. It’s the most important job in the world, being a mother. There is nothing abnormal about feeling a little fear when we step into these shoes.
As time progressed during my TTC journey the fear shook off. I like to believe that my body is on my side. When it happens, it happens, and it truly is a perfect miracle. Our bodies change with the miracle in phenomenal ways to ensure that we are ready.

 

[Alma1234]

@WaterLilly yayy! Congratulations to you too! How funny to think we tested around the same time! Thank you also for sharing your symptoms it’s putting me at ease because as you say it’s difficult to believe if there’s nothing to hold onto.. Anyway this is lovely news and I wish you all the best and a happy and healthy pregnancy! Let’s keep each other updated

 

[Alma1234]

@Laneylaura thank you for your kind words! The being terrified has completely changed to pure excitement and slight worry of mc. But I guess that’s natural! I like how you explained the journey and that the body and everything will be ready! This is a great way of putting it! I wish you all the best on your journey xx