Not sure how much longer I can keep this up

Discussion in 'Feeding & Nutrition' started by Sarah13, Feb 13, 2012.

  1. Sarah13

    Sarah13 Well-Known Member

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    This constant round the clock feeding is really wearing me down now, Im so tired all the time, and drained. I love breast feeding but this 2-3 hourly feeding at night for at least half an hour is killing me now, but what can i do? I just want a few hours sleep, its starting to get me down now and it feels like everyone's baby sleeps at least 4 hours at night except mine! Every night it winds me up seeing (and hearing) my OH getting yet another full nights sleep, Im so jealous! Everyone asks me if he's sleeping through yet, makes you feel like a failure somehow. And it really pees me off when i hear people moaning that they get woken once between 7pm and 7am for a feed, i dream of that day!
    Sorry for the moan, I know Im really lucky to have a beautiful healthy baby just not good at the sleepless nights!
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  2. Hunnie

    Hunnie Well-Known Member

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    How old is he?? I felt like this but it really does get better!!
     
  3. jojo_2012

    jojo_2012 Well-Known Member

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    Everyone's baby certainly doesn't sleep at least 4hrs at night trust me! That goes for FF babies too.

    Can't give much advice for stretching things out a bit longer but hope someone can. Baby is 4 months now, when he's old enough for food things might all change.
     
  4. DW1978

    DW1978 Well-Known Member

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    Oh hun. It is so hard isn't it? I'm also getting really pissed off with people asking me if Jax is 'sleeping through' yet and having such a stupid look of shock on their face when I say no. BUT I've also realised that what people perceive as sleeping through and what I perceive as sleeping through are two totally different things. I personally think sleeping through is a baby going from 7pm til 6am (or there abouts) without waking but some people don't put their baby to bed till midnight and if they sleep till 6am they say that is sleeping through but in reality, they are only sleeping solidly for 6 hours.

    Anyway, Jax is still no where near sleeping through and is ff. The ONLY thing that I think is slightly easier for me is that Jax will drink a bottle in 10/15 mins so I'm back to sleep slightly quicker than you. He's still waking often though, the longest period he sleeps is at the beginning of the night, while we're still up:banghead:! Then after that, he'll usually wake every 2/3 hours. He's started getting up really early too, about 5.20/5.30 everyday. Grrrr.

    If you introduced some ff at night or expressed enough milk, could your oh help you out and maybe do all the feeds for 1 or 2 nights so you can at least get a couple of decent nights sleep per week?

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  5. Sassysugar

    Sassysugar Well-Known Member

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    Aw hun, sending you a big hug :hugs:

    The longest Colby goes is just over 4 hrs (only occasionally) but the rest of his feeds are every 2/3 hrs. It really gets me down too, I get cranky with oh as he gets to sleep (he's currently in spare room as I'm still co-sleeping) I found co-sleeping meant I don't have to get out of bed so can doze while he feeds and then when he's finished go straight back to sleep (but I know its not for everyone).

    I just keep trying to tell myself it's not forever (but at 2am that's the furthest from my mind)

    I'm also starting to move him into his own cot in our room (to see how it goes, and to get oh back into our room) which is meaning C sometimes wakes when I move him which I'm finding hard work at the mo as I'm just so bloody tired.

    It's so hard too when they won't take a bottle, did you find one that was working?

    I know I haven't really offered any advice but wanted you to know you're not alone, like DW says there's lots of babies who just wont go through the night and we shouldn't be made to feel guilty about it when people ask. Apparently sleeping through is classed as 6 hrs in a row so that could also be 8pm til 2am.....

    When you feed does he go straight back to sleep?
     
  6. Maria1977

    Maria1977 Well-Known Member

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    The only way I made it through was because we coslept. I couldn't have been getting up every few hours for months and months, it is draining. You have done absolutely amazing and whatever you decide to do now you should be proud of what you have managed to do. Sleep deprivation is not funny, it drives you mad!!

    My LO didn't sleep through until 12 months old! If we hadn't of coslept and he was stillwanting fed every few hours I couldn't have done that, no way, no how.

    Even weaning my LO onto solids didn't make him sleep through. The longest he would go is like 4-6 hours.

    You are amazing! Do what you need to do hun, you should be proud of yourself. All those months with no proper sleep is an ahievement.

    :hug:
     
  7. hopefulmummy

    hopefulmummy Well-Known Member

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    Sarah, Will type a longer reply later, but I ha the same thing. This is what helped -

    1. Dragging out the times between the daytime feeds. I found I was feeding every 2-3 hours durin the day (closer to 3). So I stretched him out to last 4 hours (or at least 3.5) what that did was make sure he had a proper feed rather than grazing. I found this helped a little

    2. The main thing I did? I stopped feedin him when r woke up every 2 hours during the night. As long as its by a growth spurt, which I doubt it is as its been going on so long, he doesn't need the food. I suspect it's possibly habit that he's waking up and he likes to feed from you to relax him and make him sleepy. I know all babies are different but at 4.5 months he **shouldnt** need to feed every 2-3 hours in the
    Night. Arthur was exactly the same and I was beside myself with exhaustion until I woke up one morning and said I could do it no longer. Don't get me wrong, it takes a few days to train him to go back to sleep without a feed, but I just went in, touched his back and said "go to sleep". Once he started sleeping till 4, I fed him.
     
  8. Sarah13

    Sarah13 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks girls! It can make you feel so lonely in the early hours of the night, I think I'm just getting to that point where I'm so exhausted and not sure what to do. I would consider co-sleeping and often put him next to me a feed lying down at 6ish but I really couldn't do it all night when my OH is home as he is a big man who fidgets a lot and he often drinks a few cans (or lots cos the rugby is on!) and I know that's even more dangerous.
    I've often sat there for 40 mins so I'm pretty sure he's comforting as during the day he can feed in less than 15 mins, but he does graze throughout the day, maybe I need to find a way to break that cycle and make him go longer, I just can't stand the crying, he even does a little sob now which makes you feel even worse!
    We're still working on the bottle/cup! Trouble is you always compare to your other kids and my DD was always much better at going longer and generally only woke once in the night at this age.
    Well at least I know I'm def not alone and I know it won't be forever!
     
  9. Jayceesmumma

    Jayceesmumma Well-Known Member

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    I agree hun it's a comfort thing at night.. Ellie never slept thru til she was just over three! At least six times a night she would wake up and eventually settle with a bottle of milk.. She was a terrible eater and was hooked on milk was so hard to get her off :(
    Hv said that it's coz she knows she's getting milk.. I know he won't take a bottle but have u tried water? Or just keep on with the bottle and he will get the picture, no bedtime boobies!! He knows if he refuses the bottle he gets boob especially when it's you feeding him! Let him get really hungry then get someone else to give him a bottle.. He should take anything when he's that hungry.. Sounds mean but you need a break!
    Try picking him up at night, settling him and put him back down.. Keep going til he settles, its gonna be long and hard but once he's got the hint it will pay off! Or don't pick him up, sit next to his cot and stroke his face and calmly shh him to sleep.. Only you know how to comfort ur baby, do what it takes to settle him without feeding, if feeding is his comfort and nothing else, you'll have to discover a new comfort which is hard but worthwhile.. Lily and Ellie are both blanket babies, Ellie still sleeps with hers now! Lily needs something soft rubbing her nose and cheek and if she ever gets unsettled I rub her cheek over the blanket and she goes back off.. When she gets grumpy in the day I put a blanket to her cheek and she snuggles in and closes her eyes.. Could he be a blanket baby??x
     
    #9 Jayceesmumma, Feb 13, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2012
  10. Jayceesmumma

    Jayceesmumma Well-Known Member

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    Always has to hold something too..
    It's worth a try??
     

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  11. Smithy1980

    Smithy1980 Well-Known Member

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    ^^ that's soo cute!

    Hey hun....I wrote exactly the same post a few weeks ago and have started to give LO a little bit of formula! She wouldn't take a bottle for ages and we tried a few different formulas and found one that she guzzles down! So I'm thinking with the bottle she CAN do it, just didn't want to the little monkey! We just bought a variety of ready made cartons til we found one she liked!

    I still predominantly bf but it's nice to have the option! We make sure we give her one bottle a day so she's used to it!

    Is this something you would consider just to give yourself a rest? I'm going to continue bf but oh can feed her of we've had a particularly bad night!

    HTH and you're doing a fab job :) xxx


    Sent from my sparkly new iPhone
     
  12. Sarah13

    Sarah13 Well-Known Member

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    JCM - what cute photos!
    He sucks his thumb and has a cotton bib (!) I think we might just have to be hard on him! I'll probably wait until next weekend though as I know his crying keeps my DD awake which isn't fair when she's at school doing her standard grades. Think we'll try a bit of formula again too, we tried aptimal so could be worth giving the others a go so that my OH can give him a feed and give me a rest! We always try expressed milk apart from once so maybe he just don't like expressed milk in a bottle, I also think he can do it, he did before but he's just not wanting too!
     
  13. Jayceesmumma

    Jayceesmumma Well-Known Member

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    Awww!! Bless him! Maybe find a blanket the same texture as his bib? Got one for lily the same as her blanket she sleeps in and Ellie we got her one that felt like the muslin squares :)
    Show him who's boss ;) I hope u get some sleep soon babe, lily wouldn't take expressed milk but took formula well too.. Not sure what's up with that!!
     
  14. Sarah13

    Sarah13 Well-Known Member

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    I guess they just don't like expressed milk in a bottle, I've read it can be because it gets mixed up unlike them getting the fore milk then the creamy hind milk at the breast. Fussy babies!
     
  15. Jayceesmumma

    Jayceesmumma Well-Known Member

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    Yeah I guess so.. Is that why it separates in the bottle?? Fussy babies!!! It can keep in the fridge for 5 days right??
     
  16. Sarah13

    Sarah13 Well-Known Member

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    It looks horrible when it separates! I only keep it 2 days, not that he drinks it! I've got quite a stock in the freezer though!

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  17. Jayceesmumma

    Jayceesmumma Well-Known Member

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    It's gross!!! Every time I go in the fridge I have to shake it it's awful! Only got an oz in there might give that to lily in a bit give her new tongue a rest lol!
     
  18. pinkyprincess

    pinkyprincess Well-Known Member

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    Aww love hope your feeling better today?!?


     
  19. Jayceesmumma

    Jayceesmumma Well-Known Member

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    How was ur night babe?xx
     
  20. Sarah13

    Sarah13 Well-Known Member

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    Was the same as usual! Feeling quite tired tonight so hope he gives me a bit longer!

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