not settling for daddy

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by jennywren, Jan 16, 2008.

  1. jennywren

    jennywren Well-Known Member

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    Im back on nights this week, tonight is my last one thanks god as tonight and the last 3 nights oran has not really settled for his daddy. When I was off work OH would put oran to bed 2/3 times a week and mostly it went ok, he always went down better and quicker for me but he was with me all day. Now OH has been putting him to bed and he is waking after an hour or so crying / screaming, and will only stop when OH pats his back, as soon as he stops and tried to leave the room Oran starts screaming / crying again. He also is waking more than normal in the night, he usually wakes 3/4 times but goes back off with a quick pat and dummy in, but he is not going back off for him so OH is resorting to giving him milk :x to get him off...............anyone know why Oran is doing this?

    He does have a cold right now, could this be a reason (do you get cold when teething? as last time bottom teeth came through he was like this and with cold and now top teeth comming through?), could it be he is missing me, how does he know im not there as daddy puts him to bed every tues night when im not there with no problem when I go swimming?

    HELP as I dont want OH to be giving him Milk, I cant stop this if im not there though!
     
  2. Red_Fairy

    Red_Fairy Well-Known Member

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    to me it deffinatly sounds like the cold and teething.
    Hannahs personality completly changed in November/December when she had a cold. (a real bad one) She was up upto 8 times a night. Somtimes just couldnt be settled at all. She was like that for so long that i just thought 'this is her from now on'
    We found it very hard to cope with.
    Then throughout January she started being alot easier. (the cold was gone) and we got her down to being only up once a night. (when we go to bed) But i cant actually belive it but she has a cold again. :wall: :wall: :wall: (where its come from i dont know)
    The night before last she was litrally up all night. crying. And last night was pretty bad too. BUT atleast this time i know its the cold. And not her.
    (shes also teething (sinse birth!) shes got nine now)

    I dont really have advice, except bonjella and calpol. - i can just give reasurence that its very likley to be just the cold/teething.
     
  3. jennywren

    jennywren Well-Known Member

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    thanks very much rachel. I told OH it will be the cold/teething (when I got him up tue morning the whole openings of his nose were covered in green boogies, it looked like something from a horror flick!) but he says ''no he just wont settle for me, I can't cope with this everytime you are on nights'' MEH men :roll:

    Fingers crossed when his cold goes he will be better again (hoping this is going to be soon no it seems to be pouring out his nose!)

    xx
     
  4. amzhunny

    amzhunny Well-Known Member

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    Hey hun, Amber always goes to sleep on OH downstairs but will never settle unless i put her to bed myself and say good night...and if sheakes during the night if she sees her daddy she just smiles and wakes up but if i go in she always goes back to sleep!!! i think us mummies just have a gentler more soothing approach.

    plus your lo must miss you and realise you havent been there as much.

    a cold wont help the situation, you can get these plug in things which release a vapour which may help, but when babies are poorly they aways want there mummy.

    i hope things improve for you and oh :hug:
     
  5. Redshoes

    Redshoes Well-Known Member

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    Isaac doesn't really settle with Daddy either, but probably because he's not used to it, I do hope as your OH has been taking over bedtime whilst your at work, that Oran's got comfortable settling for him :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  6. jennywren

    jennywren Well-Known Member

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    hmm I think he is just being a monkey.

    He wont go for sleep propely for me now unless Im in the room, he just screams, when you leave the room so I have to lay on the bed next to the cot till he drifts off (about 10 min) then sneak out but he wont even do this for OH, just screams. OH gets him out though which a tell him off for! We might have to do the controlled crying thing tonight though seen as were not moving now!!

    Get him back in to the habbit of going off by him self. Little tuppence he is, think the teeth and cold threw him off track!
     
  7. jennywren

    jennywren Well-Known Member

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    well were going down the CC route again tonight. We were putting it off since we were supposed to be moving on friday, but now were not (see my thread in member section) we have 1 week till im back on nights, only took him 4 days last time (1hr cry first night, 45 mins second, 10 the 3rd and 4 the 4th) so wasnt so bad, Im hoping it will be the same.

    Fingers crossed for me girlies!
     
  8. jennywren

    jennywren Well-Known Member

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    was 20 minutes of crying last night,. It may have been less if he a) didnt keep sitting up and b) didnt keep chucking his dummy out the cot!! I went in, in breaks of 5 mins so only went in 3 times, the 4th time I left 10 mins then just checked he was asleep. He was so peeps he was folded in to, so he was obviously just sat up, found a spare dummy (on my 3rd visit I cucked a few spares in the cot) and leaned forward and passed out lol. I just pulled his legs from under him, and moved him to cot top n we only had one wake in the night, he was up at 6am though, although my alarm prop woke him about 5.45 :shock:

    So tonight its daddys turn, i said we HAVE to do it alternate and HAVE to do it EXACTLY the same way and hopefully he will be ok for daddy on a night.

    thing with men is they dont seem to have this soothing compassionate jean lol
     
  9. Redshoes

    Redshoes Well-Known Member

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    I really hope it works for you, leaving them for 5mins if they're crying is soooooooooo hard, I stopped doing it, which maybe not wise :?
    He could also be going through seperation anxiety, which will make things worse for everyone, I really hope he gets back on track soon, for him and both of you, very best wishes :hug: :hug: :hug:

    http://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/develo ... ependence/

    "Seven to 12 months
    At around seven months your baby will realise she is independent of you; this is a huge cognitive leap worthy of celebration. Unfortunately, this new understanding of separateness makes your baby anxious. She's become so attached to you that when you leave her alone, even for a minute, she will burst into tears. She doesn't have the information yet that you will always come back. And sneaking out when her back is turned - when you leave her at nursery, for example - won't help. In fact, it may just make her more afraid that you aren't coming back. Hard as it can be, say goodbye and go while she's watching. "
     
  10. jennywren

    jennywren Well-Known Member

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    well last night it was daddys turn and he went to sleep in 7 minutes so was better, we will see how it goes tonight!

    He however woke at 2.05am till 4.30am and I had to be up for work at 6am :shock: he had a sloppy poo between waking though so that will be why he woke up.

    He isnt bothered when we leave him with nana (child minder) or grandma & Grandads for the night - would the sep anx affect that also?
     

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