Not interested!!

[ZoeM1]

Hi again

Anyone elses hubbies or partners not very interested in your pregnancies ... or you at this present moment?

He looked at my lumps of meat for feet today and screwed his face up when he got home from work!!

I know I'm gonna have to ask him to help me massage my perenium soon, but he's not even interested in me in that way at the moment.....in fact, I can imagine what the reaction is going to be when I approach the subject.

I'd just like a bit of attention at the moment, but he's never very sympathetic about the fact that I'm tired, or that I have a bad back and aching legs.

Oh to not be pregant any more!! Roll on labour day!!

Zo

 

[Kimbo]

I know I'm gonna have to ask him to help me massage my perenium

omg ive totally forgotten about that!! has anyone else been doing it?

 

[ella]

I learnt some stretches to do instead - I dont want anyone massaging me

Zoe - I think most men can be a bit thick sometimes, I know my DH has struggled with me being pregnant at times and not all that sympathetic

 

[Squiglet]

I know I'm gonna have to ask him to help me massage my perenium

omg ive totally forgotten about that!! has anyone else been doing it?

What??? you mean like those pelvic floor exercises you're supposed to do too... ???

 

[ClareBear]

Hi again

Anyone elses hubbies or partners not very interested in your pregnancies ... or you at this present moment?

He looked at my lumps of meat for feet today and screwed his face up when he got home from work!!

I know I'm gonna have to ask him to help me massage my perenium soon, but he's not even interested in me in that way at the moment.....in fact, I can imagine what the reaction is going to be when I approach the subject.

I'd just like a bit of attention at the moment, but he's never very sympathetic about the fact that I'm tired, or that I have a bad back and aching legs.

Oh to not be pregant any more!! Roll on labour day!!

Zo

Ah bless you, they don't get it sometimesdo they and asking seems to make them more grumpoid.

I just asked my OH if he'd be massaging my perenium after reading your post- 'Yes, but too tired tonight'- I then asked him if he actually knew where it was?- 'Yes, near your ankle'

Ankle?! I ask you? How I even managed to get pregnant I'll never know

 

[Kimbo]

I know I'm gonna have to ask him to help me massage my perenium

omg ive totally forgotten about that!! has anyone else been doing it?

What??? you mean like those pelvic floor exercises you're supposed to do too... ???

yes, those too! lol

 

[moomoo192]

haven't done anything like that, i never do, i guess i'll just regret it afterwards

If i asked my hubby to 'massage my perinnium' he's run a mile

 

[poppy160]

Other way round for us at the moment, I'm having such a sh*t time I'm not really too interested in the pregnancy..that sounds really bad! Oh is very into everything, we have a ticker on our Google homepage and every week he reads up on what's supposed to be happening..on the sofa/in bed his hands or and ear is glued to my belly, he constantly talks/sings to baby...I just feel totally smothered, but don't say anything because I want him to feel involved cause it's his only way to bond at the moment. I'm a cow..

 

[chrystaltips]

I'm so glad someone started this thread!

YES YES YES!! My BF seems to act like I'm something from another planet at the moment. Don't get me wrong he's still affectionate and attentive, but he seems to be spending a lot more time not at home lately. Personally, I think it's just his way of dealing with impending fatherhood and he needs a bit of space, but how does he think it makes me feel? It's not like I have the option of getting away from my current predicament/anxieties by going out with my mates right now - like I have the energy! Would be nice if he was a bit more considerate and showed more interest in spending some time with me! Men....

As for the perineal massage, it's more difficult than it sounds when you've got a huge bump in the way. I've given it a half-hearted attempt and do my pelvic floor exersizes when I happen to remember but I figure, if I'm going to tear, I'm going to tear so I don't reckon a bit of massaging is going to make that much difference. My BF walked into the room when I was doing my perineal massage the other day and looked amused!

 

[Babylicious]

I don't think Seans that bothered either, he'll probably be fine once he's here though

 

[MattM]

You have a unique symbiotic relationship with your growing child. She's literally a part of you. You feel her move and wriggle every day. You have a constant reminder that you're pregnant. It's with you every second for every day of your pregnancy.

Naturally, men don't have that experience and closeness. We go about our lives just the same as we did before we learned we were going to become a father. Apart from the logistics (buying items, fixing up the nursery, etc) there is nothing that's different. We are able to forget about the pregnancy if only for a few minutes or an hour.

It's a totally different experience.

We can see your growing bump and we intellectually know that there is a child inside. We've seen the scans and we've felt the kicks. But there is nothing to connect the physicality with the reality. There is something intangible about the whole process.

That's not an excuse to not be interested, of course. It's not even a reason. It's just the way it is.

One thing I've found useful is learning about the different stages of pregnancy and what the growing baby looks like each week. This keeps me tied into the process as much as possible. It's very easy to think of your baby as a tiny thing floating around like a 12 week old fetus. When you see a picture of a baby positioned inside the womb at 20, 30 and 35 weeks it really brings you closer to the reality of what's going on.

 

[Nicola g]

Mine's more interested this time but i think that's only because it's a boy. He's helping out with chosing baby stuff which with the girls he didnt.

 

[Gem & Leland]

hahahaa nah mine hasnt been the greatest either

just asked if he would massage mine , his reply , i would if i knew what it was when i told him , he was like oh thats nice

 

[girlygirl]

I just asked my OH if he'd be massaging my perenium after reading your post- 'Yes, but too tired tonight'- I then asked him if he actually knew where it was?- 'Yes, near your ankle'

Ankle?! I ask you? How I even managed to get pregnant I'll never know

what are they like....mind you i dont think i knew till i was preggers

 

[DebbieM]

Matt's offered to massage mine. I have declined.

 

[rachie29]

i wouldnt even ask OH that question... he is interested in the pregnancy and has been great in all areas except the sex one... he totally went off it about 2 mths ago.... he's still very affectionate but wont go near me in that way... i jokingly mentioned trying it to get the baby out and he just looked at me with fear!!!

 

[MattM]

Matt's offered to massage mine. I have declined.

Haha, I really would if you, er, needed a hand.

 

[DebbieM]

I know! You've offered once or 10 times

 

[mrs_tommo22]

You have a unique symbiotic relationship with your growing child. She's literally a part of you. You feel her move and wriggle every day. You have a constant reminder that you're pregnant. It's with you every second for every day of your pregnancy.

Naturally, men don't have that experience and closeness. We go about our lives just the same as we did before we learned we were going to become a father. Apart from the logistics (buying items, fixing up the nursery, etc) there is nothing that's different. We are able to forget about the pregnancy if only for a few minutes or an hour.

It's a totally different experience.

We can see your growing bump and we intellectually know that there is a child inside. We've seen the scans and we've felt the kicks. But there is nothing to connect the physicality with the reality. There is something intangible about the whole process.

That's not an excuse to not be interested, of course. It's not even a reason. It's just the way it is.

One thing I've found useful is learning about the different stages of pregnancy and what the growing baby looks like each week. This keeps me tied into the process as much as possible. It's very easy to think of your baby as a tiny thing floating around like a 12 week old fetus. When you see a picture of a baby positioned inside the womb at 20, 30 and 35 weeks it really brings you closer to the reality of what's going on.

God I wish my husband thought like you did matt! the only time he perked up was when Itold him I was having contractions then he as like a kid at christmas!

As for the massaging - I didnt do it - the thought horrified me.