Not even pg and having baby name problems

[Hara]

My father passed away in 2000 and my DH's father passed away in 2002. I've always said i wanted to name my first child after my father, then got together with dh and he said the same. We put it to the back of our minds as we were not pg or ttc and were concentrating on the wedding.

Now our mum's are both insisting that the baby be named after their respective husbands. We do want to name our kids after our fathers (we want to have 2 kids). Me and hubbie said we'd leave it to fate (haven't decided how yet) but they are both putting presure on us, and because we both want to name our first child after our father, we feel that fate is the fairest way.

I'm just venting really....

 

[Sherlock]

I'd be really nice about it to your families and ask them to back off a little as you are not even pregnant yet and may not be for some time. Explain that them putting pressure on you both is making you feel uncomfortable. Yes you would like to try to use family names, but they also need to understand it might not happen (you may have girls only for example).

It might be better, if and when the time comes, that you choose a totally different first name, you both like and use both fathers names as middle names, thereby appeasing both grandmothers and ensuring your first born, if a boy has both grandfathers names but neither is favoured over the other. That would be my solution as I'd not want to have a first name after one father and not the other.

 

[Hara]

Thanks for your reply. We're def gonna talk to them and say it's our decision and we dont' want to be preasured or even think about names till we are...

It's a good idea for middle names, but i dont' really like the idea of middle names...I've got 3 and i HATE it...I guess our priority is getting them to back off.

 

[Sherlock]

The one thing I like about midde names is that if a child (or an adult) doesn't actually like their first name as they get older, and it does happen, they have some possible alternatives in their middle names.

I destest my first name (thanks Dad, what a crap choice ) and while I never used my middle name in place of it, even though I like it, I don't use my first name anymore.

I know quite a few adults who ditched their first name in their teenage years or early 20's and now use a middle name. A couple of kids who already prefer their middle name and use it.

 

[dannii87]

Hi Hara,

Bless you. Must be a lot of pressure for you both. Who knows, you might have a girl (or girlS)!!

It's all about compromise... Perhaps talk (nearer the time) about settling on a different name (not one of your fathers) to avoid any family conflict?

Although I personally think that a grandparents role is to be supportive and not pressuring you.

What are the names (I'm intrigued)!!?? xx

 

[leckershell]

First I agree with the others in that they shouldn't be pressuring you, especially so early on, and you can call *your* children what you want!!!

I don't know what the names are but is there a name that resembles them both, or uses the letters from them both?

I didn't want Ryan to have 2 middle names but it just ended up that way really. Our tradition is to have the middle name as the parent, so if we had a girl the middle name would be Michelle, boy, Nathanael. When he was born he looked like a Zach, but after a few days he really didn't, and suited Ryan a lot more. I felt quite maternal over the name Zachary then, as it was the first name we thought of when he was born so I wanted to keep it too. Hence the 2 middle names thing.

It's not ideal but you could do that perhaps? Probably not as much of a mouthful as Ryan's name either! And if they are fussing over which order they go in, do it in the order that *sounds* best, not prioritising the names either way. If you have a girl first you could just feminise the name - George to Georgia/Georgina for example

But I personally think you should at least have some choice in the name... so add your own choice of first name and use the grandads as middle names to me is the best compromise. You don't want to name your child under pressure and then resent it later on - a name's for life and if you can't bear to call your baby it, don't

 

[trixipaws]

as others have suggested, can u not use them as middle names? my daughter's middle name is named after my boyfs mum who passed away when he was 3. i think quite a lot of people do it

 

[Hara]

My dad's name is Antonio and DH is Lefteri (both Greek)...we both like the idea of naming it after our dad's thats the problem. If it was a girl we'd like to call her either Antonia or Elefteria.

We def want the first name after one of our dad's, and that's why we said we'd leave it to fate. Depending on a lot of things, Who they look like, to a flip of the coin if need be (I'm only joking on that one). But i guess your right, we won't know till we get pg and by then we might decided to have the names as a middle name or they might not suit the name at all...time will tell