Not a very merry Xmas.

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by nicki, Dec 22, 2005.

  1. nicki

    nicki Well-Known Member

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    Hi Everyone,

    This isn't going to be a cheery post i'm afraid but just feel I need to write something down.

    About 6 months ago my Dad started to get a really bad backache, he's had it on & off for longer but it started to get worse in the summer, anyway after many, many trips to the docs ( who thought it was a trapped nerve) he had many sessions with the Chiropractor & then the Osteopath & has been on loads of different kinds of pain relief but nothing seemed to be working.
    Last week he was in agony & started to lose the use of his right leg, after a few days he couldn't use it at all & then his left leg started to go. Obviously he couldn't walk properly & was confined to his bed, with my poor mum trying to help him to the toilet.

    It got to the point where he couldn't walk at all so Mum called an ambulance. The paramedics said to contact the docs in the morning so he could be refered to another hospital other than the one the ambulance had to take them to (stupid in itself!) the next day the doc came round & ordered an ambulance to take him to the hospital, this took a staggering 7 hours to turn up, only for him to wait on a trolley bed all night until they transfered him to yet another hospital (in Brighton).

    He had a MRI scan done and from this have found a tumour growing on his spinal cord & they seem to think it's cancerous because 9 years ago he had a cancerous kidney removed & they said fragments of that remained behind & have been growing ever since. This has in turn paralysed him & is destroying the vertebrae.

    They were going to operate yeasterday but cancelled it at the last minute as the surgeon said he would bleed to death as the tumour has so many blood vessels so they've been doing more tests & things today to try & find out what to do next.

    It looks like he'll be in hospital for a long time so we'll all be spending Xmas day in Brighton Hospital (not nice in itself - scummy!!).

    So after me being really happy on Monday after my scan & finding out we're having a boy it's all gone pear shaped.

    Sorry it's such a long post & not a happy one but I just wanted to get it off my chest a bit & to say I hope everyone has a great Christmas & New Year & enjoy every minute of it as you just don't know what's round the corner.

    Love Nicki.xx :cry:
     
  2. lauramumof2

    lauramumof2 Well-Known Member

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    Hi Nikki,
    Im so very sorry for what you and your family are going through just now. It certainly makes you think. I hope that the tumour isnt cancerous and that your poor dad isnt in pain.
    I hope christmas is at least passable for you and please take care of yourself and your wee baby.
    Dont be shy to post, the forums are for all news and for you to get the support and love that others have to offer.
    Take care
    Laura
     
  3. Skidoo

    Skidoo Well-Known Member

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    So sorry to hear you've had such bad news so close to Christmas. Hope your dad pulls through okay. Can't really imagine what you must be going through.

    My dad had a cancer scare about a year ago and I was devastated, it turned out fine in the end, but I can still remember the feelings of anger and sadness. Can't imagine a world without my dad in it.

    Hope he's finally getting the care he needs and remember to look after yourself at this difficult time.
     
  4. weestar21

    weestar21 Well-Known Member

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    :cry: im so so so very sorry for what is happening to your dad at suh a special time for you hun, my heart goes out to you and all your family im lost for words but just to let you know im thinking of you and your family

    take care

    luv n hugs
    jean x x
     
  5. minikins

    minikins Well-Known Member

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    Am sorry to hear this. I feel a bit bad about christmas too, will not take up too much of your post with it but I found out that my cousin has very serious cancer as this may be her last christmas and I am having a big family row with my sister.

    Still we have our bumps/babies to bring joy to the proceedings!

    All the best for your dad :)
     
  6. *saulino*

    *saulino* Well-Known Member

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    Hello

    Im so sorry to hear this news, i hope everything turns out for the best and try to enjoy christmas a smuch as possible, just remember although in the hospital you guys can go to him and celebrate as long as your together as thats what christmas is about.
    Take care hun.
    Katrina xxxxxx
     
  7. Amanda

    Amanda Well-Known Member

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    Nicki, I am so sorry to hear what you and your family are going through. At what should be such a happy time....

    I hope that the hospital can give you some better news over the Xmas period.

    My thoughts are with you.

    xxxx
     
  8. nicki

    nicki Well-Known Member

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    Hi all,

    Thanks so much for your kind words and support, it really does mean alot.

    Well, my Dad is actually in quite good spirits, which in turn makes it easier for the rest of us. He had an angiogram done yesterday and that went really well & they have stopped alot of the blood flow to the tumour so the surgeon said he will operate later on this afternoon. Fingers crossed that everything goes ok while he's under.

    I went into work yesterday to tell them I wouldn't be in today nor next week, they were okish about it and said its fine but I knew it grated!! really don't give a monkies what they think anyway! won't be going back after my maternity anyway!

    Thanks again everyone, you're all such a nice lot. :D

    Take Care.

    Love Nicki.xx :D
     
  9. Amanda

    Amanda Well-Known Member

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    That sounds better news Nicki. I'll be thinking about you this afternoon. Please let us know how it went when you have a chance.

    Sending you lots of ((((((HUGS)))))))
     
  10. Tara & Liam

    Tara & Liam Well-Known Member

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    Hi Nicki

    Sorry to hear about your dad. No matter how scummy you think that Brighton Hospital is they have some of the best cancer doctors there. I work in the Haematology department at Eastbourne Hospital and we havea a lot of contact with Cancer doctors at Brighton. So try and have faith that your dad is getting the best possible care, no matter how nasty the surroundings.

    Dont you or your mum hestitate to ask questions if you are concerned as it is your right. make sure any nurses or doctors use the alcohol gel before putting their hands on your dad. even make sure your dad asks if they have used it. i know for a fact that the two doctors that i work for would not be insulted if they were asked that question.

    sending a good luck message to your dad and he will be in my thoughts.

    try and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and the news that you are carrying a beautiful boy.

    keep in touch x
     
  11. lauramumof2

    lauramumof2 Well-Known Member

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    Hi
    Im glad to hear that things are a bit more positive today. Davinas post was very informative about the hospital and docs itself.
    Let us know how it goes, we are thinking of you.

    Laura.
     
  12. nicki

    nicki Well-Known Member

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    Hi,

    Thanks again everyone. Dad's in surgery now so hoping all goes well.

    Davina, you are right, Brighton is a good hospital but I guess after being to Haywards Heath Hospital the difference is amazing! We've been assured the surgeon is one of the best so that's good.

    Got some more sad news to report i'm afraid but i've just found my little hamster dead. Herbie was an old boy & we thought he would go soon but I just wish it hadn't been now. What's really upset me is he had loads of blood all round his nose and mouth so i'm feeling really guilty that he was in alot of pain and we didn't know. Poor little thing. He's resting in the back garden now.

    Feeling so crap at the mo. i'm crying onto the keyboard! :cry:

    Nicki.x
     
  13. Skidoo

    Skidoo Well-Known Member

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    Aw sweetheart!! You must be feeling low; poor hamster!

    Really hope your dad's surgery goes well - that would be the best xmas present wouldn't it!

    Good luck with everything!!
     
  14. Tara & Liam

    Tara & Liam Well-Known Member

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    oh Nicki ((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))

    i'm sending you loads of hugs. My 3 year old wants a hamster and i am so worried as they dont tend to live very long, but they are easy to get attached to. we have his nursery one nearly every weekend and she is really sweet.

    How long do they think your dad's operation will be. i think it will probably be a long one as it is on the spine. my brother had a brain tumour and spinal cancer, he had the operations when he was 20 and he is 33 now. so keep your chin up and your dad will come through fine. i am sure of it.

    glad you feel a bit better about Brighton Hospital now.

    x
     
  15. *sam*

    *sam* Well-Known Member

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    I'm soooo sorry nicki to hear your awful news. My heart goes out to you, your family and especially to your Dad.
    My thoughs are with you
    Sending you massive hugs.
    Lots of love
    Sam xx
     
  16. minikins

    minikins Well-Known Member

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    Oh no!! Sorry to hear about your hamster, poors things don't live long!!

    That's all you need!

    Sending hugs.

    x
     
  17. lisa31

    lisa31 Well-Known Member

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    Nikki

    What a S**t time you are having. I really hope things start to lookup for you.

    Take care of yourself

    L x
     
  18. Tara & Liam

    Tara & Liam Well-Known Member

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    Hi Nicki

    just seeing how your dad is
     
  19. nicki

    nicki Well-Known Member

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    Hiya,
    Thanks again for all your kind words, it really does help.

    Aw thanks Davina for wondering how my Dad is. It's been a tough week and a bit. We've been to Brightons hospital every day so far and went twice on Christmas Day.

    After he had the op. he's had to lay flat on his back and not really move so simple things like eating,drinking & going to the loo have been a real chore. he is now wearing a chest brace (could be in this for several months) so can at least sit upright, because it was Xmas it delayed everything which has been a pain but at lest things are now starting to happen. They removed about 2" in diameter of the tumour but couldn't get it all because of how it has grown around his spine and how much it bleeds so will need radiotheraphy, they have also put in metal rods in his back.

    He's been on loads of drugs which make him hallucinate and make him sick. They had to put him back on a drip because he's stopped eating so he's all skin and bones. The movement in his legs has improved very slightly.

    The problem is my Dads mental state. He's so negative about everything, even the postitive signs he's being negative about! It's a strain.

    It looks like he'll have to have another op. soon but not sure when and the doc. seems to think he'll be in hospital for another good couple of weeks but we'll have to see how things go.
    It's going to be a long process.

    Nicki.x
     
  20. Tara & Liam

    Tara & Liam Well-Known Member

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    hi Nicki

    glad the op went as well as it could.

    my brother had a brain tumour and spinal cancer when he was 20 and we found that he was very negative a lot of the time. the thing is you can only try your best, even though it is draining, especially being pregnant. keep me informed on your dad's progress hun.

    try and rest as much as possible and speak to you soon.

    x
     

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