No-cry (ish) sleep method.. where to go from here?

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by Mel32, Sep 27, 2016.

  1. Mel32

    Mel32 Well-Known Member

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    Hello! Sorry for the long post. This post is for no-cry method mummy's and daddy's. Don't want to upset anyone, just personal choice.

    My 6 month old never took to the moses basket & has a really strong desire to sleep on his tummy when not co-sleeping. Until now he has been co-sleeping with us (very carefully!). Recently we started taking more care to have a bedtime routine, and regularly let him experience daytime naps in his cot (but on his tummy while we watched him on camera).

    Yesterday the health visitor gave some tips and we had always said we'd make a good go at the cot at the 6 month mark. So last night was the first full night in his room...

    Bath, feed, 4 minutes music (while rocking), continued to rock and transferred him just as he fell asleep on to his front. I'm slowly working on transferring him sleepy but awake too. Later on, we turned him on his back ready to go to bed ourselves so he was more safe but he woke up shortly after. I was kipping next to his cot but still felt too frightened to leave him on his front. So each time he woke up I rocked him and put him back in on his back, he cried, I picked him up immediately, rocked, down (repeat) until he was shattered and wrapped him very snuggly in an open weave blanket and I gently wobbled/rocked him in his cot and 'shooshed' and the crying stopped. Eventually he slept but I had to repeat this each time he woke up (though it didnt take as long) and sometimes I did feed him. The snug blanket keeping his arms by his sides does seem to help him sleep on his back. He doesn't always eat much during the day so I don't want to hold food back from him.

    Anyway, I found the whole process really upsetting- I felt like there were a lot of tears for a no-cry method even though I was picking him up immediately or shooshing to comfort if I felt he would stop crying quickly.

    In your experience, should I repeat this tonight with a hope to have less protest from him?... or am I creating a new sleep association by wobbling and shooshing him to sleep? I just always feel so overwhelmed with information!!

    P.S he can roll both ways, but much less so front to back so that's why I don't feel confident leaving him like that.
     
  2. kumber

    kumber Well-Known Member

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    I personally don't like moving babies into their own rooms at 6 months, I feel it's very early. I waited until 11 months and 13 months and they've moved seamlessly from one room to the other. I'm a worrier and for me, moving them any sooner than that was just too much. Keeping them in with us so long did them no harm either :)


     
  3. KEW

    KEW Well-Known Member

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    I have had a similar problem. To be honest the only solution was to allow him to sleep on his tummy. I was the same worrying about it for the first couple of nights but they get stronger and better at rolling so fast it won't be long before you won't have to worry at all. Ask your health visitor for advice but I would imagine if you follow all the current advice about no blankets pillows soft toys etc you can probably relax and let him find his own position. I'm currently watching my 7 month old rolling around in his sleep on my video monitor, he hasn't slept on his back once since we stopped co sleeping a month ago. Hope you have a restful night x
     
  4. Lolie14

    Lolie14 Well-Known Member

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    We had our daughter in a next to me crib and then in her cot next to my side of the bed till she was around 9/10 months.

    She made the transition into her own room smoothly - I believe due to already feeling secure in her cot whilst in our room.

    Our bedtime routine is a story first then I lie her down in her cot and she drinks her bottle. I then sit by the side of the cot on the floor and gently shush her. Sometimes she lies there and slowly falls asleep, other times she will walk around the cot or try to do head stands! I just continue the gentle shushing and occasionally whisper "lie down, nun night time" which she does listen to.

    We don't have any tears, she never gets upset and will go from 7-6

    My daughter has never liked being swaddled or wrapped, she won't have a blanket either, she prefers just rolling around until she settles herself... She is very much a tummy sleeper too. We have the Angelcare mat sensor so I was happy to leave her on her tummy.

    Hope this helps?
     
  5. T84

    T84 Well-Known Member

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    No matter what method you use I think repetition is key. I think your doing the right thing with the shooshing and stuff, it's baby steps and that's what's needed. You can move on to more self settling once you crack the sleeping in cot. Although eventually this will go hand in hand as the more baby 'self settles' the less shooshing and stuff needed when they wake in the night.

    My 6 month old has also started sleeping on her front and side which unnerved me the first few nights but I remember my dd1 doing the same and I'm happy that she has her breathing mat on and has good enough head/roll techniques to sleep like this.

    Your heading in all the right directions tho and you'll know what's best for your baby x


     
  6. Sprout

    Sprout Well-Known Member

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    Sounds like you're going against your instincts and what baby wants and just putting the both of you through stress. It's totally normal for a baby that age to not like a cot or to have difficulty falling asleep away from mummy. Keep co sleeping til bub is developmentally ready to do those things
     
  7. Mel32

    Mel32 Well-Known Member

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    He's been staying in his room so far but I think I saw every hour on the clock last night (sometimes more!). I feed him to sleep loads because i thought it might be a less stressful transition for him. but he keeps soaking through his nappy, clothes. sleeping bag etc....!! So I'm off to get better nappies hopefully for night time because changing his full outfit obviously upsets him when hes so sleepy. I found last night disappointing, I hoped for a little progress but I felt like it was worse. It was stormy though, so I dont know how much that disturbed him.

    Also, rightly or wrongly. I have been caving around 7am and bringing him to bed but I open the blinds so its light in the room and hopefully he knows its different.

    If I don't see much progress, I might have to switch to cot next to my bed with one side off. I used to have broken sleep but not physically get out of bed (maaaaybe once for a nappy change) but now I'm up constantly or checking the monitor.

    But if anyones wondering.... persisting with the back sleeping is kind of working and it makes me feel much better. I was about to buy an angelcare monitor but someone said people they knew stopped using them as they always went off for no reason? Don't know if that's true, I don't mind it going off all the time if it keeps him safe, but I'm finding the back sleeping better anyway. During the day he almost instantly rolls to his front but at night its usually just when he's about to wake up.

    One final note/question on monitors. Does the night vision always emit a small flashing light? This seems like it would be disturbing so I know if its the norm or if I need a new monitor??

    Thanks for all the suggestions. Tempted to bring him back in my room but I don't think back tracking will benefit him!
     
    #7 Mel32, Sep 29, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2016
  8. BunnyN

    BunnyN Well-Known Member

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    I believe in doing what feels right and works for you and don't worry too much about what you 'should' be doing. I don't mean you can't use sleep training meathods, some of them work great for some people. I just mean don't feel pressure to do things a particular way because someone else says so. If you really want to follow through or you see that its working for you, go for it.

    Personally I prefer keeping babies in my room until they are at least a year old because it feels right to me and it is one of the biggest safety steps against cot deaths. As for sleeping on the tummy. Its the only way I could get DS to sleep in his own bed, on his back he would wave his arms and wake himself up and he didn't like to be wrapped so I finally gave up and let him sleep on his tummy. By 6 months he would easily roll into any position he wanted anyway so there wasn't much I could do to stop it.
     
    #8 BunnyN, Sep 29, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2016
  9. Mel32

    Mel32 Well-Known Member

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    My room would be the preference, I wont lie! But we have one of those annoying rooms that barely has space to walk round the bed! We might be able to squeeze the cot in if it comes to it. But I think I've decided to persist for 2 weeks first.

    I feel like I've held him for 6 months solid (but i'm not complaining :love:) because for a long time we couldn't get him to sleep anywhere without us until we figured out the tummy thing and we would put him down and watch him closely. So its really weird having a bit of the evening to ourselves now he goes in his room!!
     
  10. Lolie14

    Lolie14 Well-Known Member

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    My daughter is 13 months and the Angelcare has only gone off once and that was because she had walked right to the far corner and was standing on one leg so the sensor couldn't pick her up. We still use it now for the total peace of mind it gives us.
     

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