Nightmare nightimes

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by beanie5, Jan 22, 2016.

  1. beanie5

    beanie5 Well-Known Member

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    please tell me i'm not alone

    i'm a ftm and my little one is now 11 days old. to begin with she would sleep for 3/4 hours at a time, sometimes having to be woken up for a feed. however the last 2/3 nights have turned into hell. all day long she's fine and will feed/sleep then on the last feed before bed (about 11/12) she feeds then sits wide awake. if i try to put her down she starts stressing and ends up screaming the place down. after about 20 mins of bouncing i can sometimes get her calm but if i go to put her down again she's immediately awake and crying.

    i have no idea how to deal with this, it feels like constant screaming for 3/4 hours each night. she finally settled at 5am yesterday and 6am this morning :shock: spoke to the midwife yesterday on her checkup who said as long as i'm checking that babies clean/fed etc then just to ride it out and it'll pass. really need someone to tell me they've been through this and if i just keep at it she'll start to sleep and we'll stop the horrid nights?

    got some different things to try tonight but i'm dreading every evening because i know it's going to leave me crying my eyes out at 3am because i feel so useless
     
  2. ShowingPromise

    ShowingPromise Well-Known Member

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    Please try not to stress, this is completely normal! Your lo has only been in the world for a few days and doesn't know the meaning/difference between night and day like adults do.
    You can try and keep any stimulation to a minimum in the evenings/night I.e low lights, quiet, no to etc to help teach the difference, and keep day times bright/ noisy etc. But please don't expect too much of your lo just yet in terms of night time sleeping as it will only stress you out! When you were preg she will have had her own sleep and waking cycles, my lo came alive at night when I was carrying him! If your lo is the same it will take s while to adjust.
    She is sleeping in the day so try and nap or rest then. I know it's not the same but it makes you feel a little more human.

    You are doing a fab job - it does get easier eventually xx
     
  3. lisa1985

    lisa1985 Well-Known Member

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    I could have written this post! My lo is 3 weeks now but was and sometimes still is the same as your lo. I find in the evening from about 4pm she sleeps a lot and we go up to bed at about 11 and she doesn't settle until gone midnight. i tried to keep her awake one evening, managed 4 hours and thought it meant she would sleep really well that night, it didn't work!! Typical!!

    I make sure now that when we go up to bed, I have everything ready including myself and keep it dark, with just a nightlight projector on, hot water bottle warming up her crib, milk warm and ready or breastfeed, nappy changed and sleepsuit on, white noise on, wind and rub back/cuddle then take hot water bottle out, swaddle, then fingers crossed she falls asleep within 10 mins or so! :) We also use infacol(colic relief) before feeds which helps. The last 3 nights she has slept 3-4 hour stretches which is way better than it was, Tuesday night I even got a 5 hour stretch, I was shocked. xx
     
  4. Colleen1988

    Colleen1988 Well-Known Member

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    Every first time mum goes through this hun... Baby has no idea what day or night is yet so you need to go with baby! can your oh not help out? Or friends, family??

    I tried to teach my LO the difference between day and night from early on, so in the day be loud and enthusiastic, keep everything light and at night keeps lights as dim as possible, talk quietly to your baby etc...

    They soon start to get into a bit of a routine but it's very early days!

    I remember writing a post the same as this a few month ago! It was awful and I felt like it was never going to end, it's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life but it does get better... Promise xxx
     
  5. beanie5

    beanie5 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks all, my oh took night duty last night so I could get some sleep, think he managed the whole night without screams. Not sure if that was because he stayed downstairs with her or because I'd settled her after the 11/12 feed better than normal but feeling much more alive today. Hope I can replicate it again!
     
  6. Colleen1988

    Colleen1988 Well-Known Member

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    Aww glad you got some sleep... It really is hard hun and it will be up and down for a while but it soon settles and baby learns that night time is for sleeping not playing lol xxx
     
  7. Lols82

    Lols82 Well-Known Member

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    Hey I'm with you, sleep deprivation is just awful. Ours is due to dummies falling out of mouths every 5 minutes and then my baby screaming the place down to get it back. We got to sleep at 5am this morning and up st 8' that was our nights sleep. Also sickness after bottles, so I have both boys up st least half an hour after a bottle to keep an eye on them. It's the same most nights, often less. I hope things get better soon for you, and me :)
     
  8. SAHF

    SAHF Well-Known Member

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    You are definitely not alone!

    I find my LO is OK during the day - she'll cluster feed (now that we're getting better at BF, I really struggled the first couple of days and we had to top up with formula), sleep an hour or so inbetween before the next feed. But when it gets to around 1am? She is constant until 6am, roughly. And I mean constant crying, screaming, struggling with wind. It is honestly so much harder than I ever expected.

    I really struggle when trying to put her down in her crib at night and some friends suggested we try harder with swaddling, and that the large space in the crib may be the issue. Apparently babies aren't used to the space around them so this is why they don't settle? Looking into baby pods but they're a little pricey!

    You're not alone. I dread every single night... But it WILL pass!
     
  9. Lucylastic

    Lucylastic Well-Known Member

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    The dread used to set in as soon as it got dark for me but 7 weeks in it is getting better. Swaddling was really helpful at the start & really helped my little boy to settle in his crib - before that it was taking it in shifts to hold him ALL night! He now sleeps from 10-2 & 3-6 ish roughly depending on how we get on with his night feed. I know not everyone will be in agreement & it can depend on how you are feeding your lo (I combination feed so he is already used to a bottle) but at about 5 weeks we introduced a dummy for sleep time & it has really helped us.

    Hang in there mumma, don't feel useless as we all go through it, as long as your baby is fed, clean & loved you are doing a fantastic job x
     

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