Never thought I'd be posting here.

Discussion in 'Coping with Miscarriage & Loss' started by Daley, May 31, 2013.

  1. Daley

    Daley Well-Known Member

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    Hi girls,

    Never thought I'd be here. Found out yesterday I lost my baby. I went my epu 2 weeks ago as I had some cramping, they ruled out an ectopic pregnancy, saw baby and heartbeat but found a large bleed in my uterus which could have been left over from implantation. They said I might lose the blood or it would absorb, they asked me back in 2 weeks to check baby's progress. On sat I started spotting and the blood got heavier with clots over the next few days. Went back to the epu twice. They said my cervix was closed, they weren't worried about the blood loss and not to worry about the clots unless they were the size of a plum - oh and to stick to my scan appointment.
    Went for it yesterday and they said I'd had a complete miscarriage, there is nothing if the baby left. As you can imagine I'm heartbroken, feeling guilty even though I know there is nothing I could have done to stop it. They said my uterus/ovaries look fine and they can see no reason for it or for why I can't go on to have a normal pregnancy and to wait 2 cycles before TTC.
    I would like to try again soon if not straight away, think hubby would like to wait a while though, don't know what to do.

    Tell me it gets easier? I've been awake for hours and still can't find the nervy to get out of bed.
     
  2. leean10

    leean10 Well-Known Member

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    Hi hon, I am sorry for your loss and I know it hurts. I have been through it all now 6 times and each time it hurts just as much as the time before.

    It has been 4 weeks since my MC and I am at work, shopping, seeing friends so it does get easier to deal with but the pain will never ever truly go away.

    You now need to take time out for yourself and stay in bed as long as you need to. I would wait at least one cycle as you know your lining has built back up a bit and it will also make it easier to date.

    You need time to grieve now and take as much time as you need. Big hugs to you and I am thinking of you xx
     
  3. scn

    scn Well-Known Member

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    So sorry hun. The hurt does get easier but you never forget. Does take the time to go with whatever you are feeling that minute and take one day at a time xx
     
  4. Iwant3

    Iwant3 Well-Known Member

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    that's how I lost my one back in November......I had a scan at 7 weeks after light bleeding and saw bean and heartbeat, but they said bleed behind sac in uterus and 50/50 chance that I would mc :( It's called a subchorionic bleed/haemorrage.

    So sorry for your loss - take care of yourselves.x
     
  5. Samsgirl

    Samsgirl Well-Known Member

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    so sorry sweetheart. It does get easier....i promise you xxx
     
  6. Pearl999

    Pearl999 Well-Known Member

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    Thinking of you like the others have said it does get easier but there are times that it just sneaks up on you, take time and take care xx
     
  7. Lozzaste

    Lozzaste Well-Known Member

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    Oh Daley, I'm so so so sorry to read this :-(
    I know exactly how you are feeling, it's devastating and a strange kind of private pain people don't seem to acknowledge. You're grieving and you have every right to so so. Look after yourself and take it easy.
    The hurt never completely goes, but with time comes acceptance, that's the only way I can describe it. Looking forward is what helped me the most. I was told I could try after my first period, which I did. After my first loss, I was pregnant again within 10 weeks. I really hope you're ok, always feel free to PM me if you want to talk xxx
     
  8. Daley

    Daley Well-Known Member

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    Thanks girls x
     
  9. Cersei

    Cersei Well-Known Member

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    So sorry to hear that hun :( x
     
  10. twixi

    twixi Well-Known Member

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    So sorry Daley I've had similar this last week, I had a scan last fri at 11+3 after brown spotting and discovered baby died few weeks earlier.
    I had medical management on Monday but last night had more clots, to go for another scan on Tuesday, my SIL in that day for her c section :-(
    Really hope everything out as I'm going to start TTC as soon as bleeding stops, they said this was ok.
    Lots of hugs xxx
     
  11. Gaelforce

    Gaelforce Well-Known Member

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    there are no words really x having mc this week too, i know how you feel. One minute i'm getting on with things, the next minute i'm sobbing uncontrollably, and in those moments, the loss feels overwhelming =(

    It was my first pregnancy, and i feel it has changed something in me as a person, it's a loss like i've never felt before.

    but it must get easier, it must!

    I also want to try again as soon as possible and after chatting to hubby, he thankfully feels the same.

    hopefully we are both back with good news very soon xxxx

    always here if you want to chat x
     
  12. Elen123

    Elen123 Well-Known Member

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    I'm so sorry hun xxx
     
  13. leean10

    leean10 Well-Known Member

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    Gaelforce, I swear babe it really does get better and you learn to cope but it never leaves your thought and so it shouldn't. All 6 of mine stay in mind all the time and they always will, even when we have gone on to have our little babies in the end, the ones we lost will never leave us xx
     
  14. timtam78

    timtam78 Well-Known Member

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    It does get easier hun, might not seem like it now but it does. We booked a holiday when we lost ours, to get away from it all. Maybe you should book a hol for a little escape. It helped us xxx
     
  15. laurat

    laurat Well-Known Member

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    Sorry for your loss! As all the others have said you never forget but it does get easier! Take care of yourself!! Xx
     
  16. PurplePixi

    PurplePixi Well-Known Member

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    So sorry Daley. This sounds similar to my first MC and it is completely heartbreaking. I was told I could try again straight away as long as emotionally ready.

    It does get easier Hun but for me personally trying again was part of my healing.
    Take care and big hugs :hugs:


    Xx
     
  17. Daley

    Daley Well-Known Member

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    Exactly how I feel. I know another baby won't replace the one I've lost but I can't explain how much I need another baby, I feel so incomplete x
     
  18. leean10

    leean10 Well-Known Member

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    Ofc you feel incomplete hon, its what you want and you won't feel right until you have what you want.

    I am sorry for your loss hon, it will happen soon though, I promise xx
     
  19. Dotty_woman

    Dotty_woman Well-Known Member

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    Oh no Daley! So sorry to hear this. Hope you are ok. It's an awful time but at least they have said that everything looks ok so hopefully it shouldn't take you too long to get back to some semblance of normality. Thinking of you, hun. xxx
     
  20. FBTTN8079

    FBTTN8079 Well-Known Member

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    Oh Hun :-( I'm so sorry xxx


    BabyDust *****

     

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