Need your help ladies

[Rayoflight]

After unsuccessfully trawling google for the past two hours and getting stuck on shite cheesy amercian sites I'm struggling.

I need to find a quote to put on an order of service on the back cover under some photos of my grandad. Just something short and simple but something that means something too. Not a poem as such, maybe a quote. Has anyone got any ideas?

My Grandad died this morning (dementia means he's been in a home for 6 months so sad to say that this was a relief and I'm happy he is finally at peace and can be remembered for his better days). My Nana is a stress head anyway but I'm worried these funeral arrangements and the things she needs to do in the coming weeks are going to send her over the edge.

I've offered to do the order of service and she was really pleased as she said it was something she had no idea how she would sort it. Now we haven't been able to get the death certificate yet so we can't even book the crem and get the details for the order of service but she's already been on the phone 4 times tonight about it. I want to try and knock something rough up tonight to print and show her tomorrow. Just so that it's one less thing for her to worry about.

Hoping you ladies can help me with a quote or some words that would fit?

Thanks in advance xxx

 

[FebMum2Be]

Awww Gemma I'm sorry I will have a think x

 

[Princess81]

I'm so sorry to hear this sad news Hun have a quote in my ticker about my sister: you can shed tears that she is gone or smile that she has lived. Obviously change it to he but I find it heart warming, it's part of a whole poem tho. There will be lots more, I think if u search funeral poems or funeral quotes on google it comes up with loads. The poem I read at my sisters funeral was "do not stand at my grave and weep" it had some nice short verses in it too xxx

 

[Rayoflight]

Funnily enough I've just saved 'Do not stand at my grave and weep' for Nana to read tomorrow.

Princess - thank you, just come on the laptop and seen your sig and that is perfect. Simple and to the point and so very true. Hopefully Nana will agree. xxx

 

[Rayoflight]

It's weird, everyone has been saying sorry all day and I kind of feel guilty for not feeling sad. My mum rang and told me and I didn't cry (not like me who can't even get past the first minute of the One Born Every Minute opening without blubbering like an idiot). But then I was cuddling Blake and realised that he never got to meet my Grandad and it just set me off really bad.

It was confirmed in August that he had dementia and after a short stay in hospital he went into a home. Nana wouldn't let me go when I was pregnant and then she didn't want me and my sis taking the babies as Grandad had violent outbursts due to his illness so I last saw him 6 months ago. I cried more when I was told he was going into a home - probably because I knew I would possibly never see him again.

Just been looking for photos for this order of service though and found a brilliant video of him and my nana dancing in giant inflatable Sumo suits. At the time I got a mock semi-serious bollocking off my Mum for 'abusing the elderly' by dressing them in the suits, inflating them and getting them to run into each other whilst I filmed it. Looking back now, I'm so glad I did. It's daft and funny and they look so happy and so in love too! I hope me and Shaun will be just like that when we're old.

 

[FebMum2Be]

That is the sweetest thing I have ever seen, a great memory. I can relate to you on the mixed feelings, my granny died a few years back, she had alzheimers and I was so relieved she was at peace, along with missing her like mad, the good memories and the better days get you through.. xx

 

[emmaandamyleigh]

Aww I'm so sorry hun I know what's it like been ther with both my nana and grands it was heart breaking worse of all when they both died I visited them on the day and they seemed alright mynana had both demencia and autzehimers my granda died of a broken heart and lung cancer and something else. I was close to them they give me a home coz my mum had Pnd with me really bad and they took me in as there own then when my mum got better she took me back but I think it's really nice what your doing feel guilty coz I didn't go to the funerals but I payed andcarraged them just how they wanted it I set off to White doves too and a magpie as my granda loved Newcastle united xxx

 

[Lander]

ROL, part of me wishes I hadn't seen my Great Aunt in her last six months (also in a home with Altzimers), she wasn't truly 'her' by the time she went and I see her in my mind both as she was at the end and earlier in life. It's an odd thing to say I know but you will have far clearer memories of him in his better days having not seen him for a while. And I hope that makes it easier for you to think about the positives

And now he can watch Blake do everything.

Lxx

 

[polo_princess]

hun

LOVE that picture

 

[pinkymum]

Thinking of you Gem, and also love the pic! Hope everything goes ok.
X

 

[titch]

just caught up with this thread. Sorry to hear about your loss hun, hope the order of service is finished and youre all happy with it xxx

 

[Princess81]

Did the order of service turn out OK hun? xx

 

[Rayoflight]

Yes Hun thanks. Did a rough copy for layout etc. and Nana had a kitten regarding some of the wording. I'd written 'blah blah blah' at the end of one line - it was only an example! But she got all stressed thinking it was going to be the finished product, bless her.
The vicar isn't coming to see her to finalise arrangements until tomorrow so I'm going to that meeting with her, more so to explain everything to her and then I can relay all the info to the rest of the family an she doesn't need to be bothered with the questions. She's really stressed out at the moment. Poor thing.

On a separate note, she's asked me to sing at the service and I'm stuck. I usually do 'Ave Maria' for funerals but I'm sick of it, im doing it at two weddings later this year and my voice isn't what it used to be. Any hint of emotion when singing it and it goes too warbly - you end up sounding like a sheep! I'm thinking Vera Lynn's 'We'll meet again' because the words are appropriate and his wartime efforts always shaped the rest of his life. It was a big part of who he was (he landed on the beaches on D Day) and think that song kind of sums up the wartime.

Anyone else got any other suggestions?

 

[midnight]

vera lynn sounds lovely ask your nan what she thinks she might want to hear a certain song iykwim

i know the sense of peace you get when someone who suffered is at peace themselves its not nice seeing a love suffer xx

 

[titch]

vera lyn sounds lovely. I cant think of anything right now but Ill think on it and let you know if I get any inspiration. x

 

[Princess81]

I think that song is really appropriate and lovely, especially as it meant so much to that generation xx

 

[megsmeadow]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I specialise in older people's mental health and dementia where I work and it can be such a cruel condition. It sounds like you had lots of good times and it'll be important to share those memories with your nana too to remind her of her husband and not dementia. She sounds like she's got a lot of support in you though and I'm sure you'll make your grandad proud!

 

[megsmeadow]

In fact I went to a patient's funeral no too long ago and they had a perfect song. I think it was vera lynn, I'll have to have a root around to see if I can find it, the words just rang so true.

 

[isobel84]

im so sorry to hear about your grandad. i work in a carehome n on my floor we only look after elderly with dementia. its such a cruel condition especially for the family