~~Need ur help pretty please ~~

sonia205

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I need a favour to ask of you all,

I know i dont post here much now - but i really do need your help in getting signitures on my petition, Please click on my link to visit and sign it.

The way mums to be and mums are treated has to stop and its my job to do what best i can to stop bad things happening.

i think my birth stories on here still, you can read as to what happened in detail, this is just a quick help request.

please feel to PM me too.

Thanks ladies , link to follow ¬¬




sign my petition by clicking here
 
im not going to because i think it is unfair to imply that midwifes are

unsupportive and dont listen out of choice. if you work in the nhs you

know that there are many professionals that are overstretched,

overworked, and under immense pressure, it is very difficult to do your

job properly under these conditions. with the way that things are

at the moment with lots of trusts in major dept, morale is at an all time

low, we dont need petitions moaning about how crap we are.

yes there are some awful midwifes out there but they should be tackled

individually. ie complain about them in particular not midwifes as a

group. im sorry about how you feel you were treated but i dont think that

launching a campaign on all midwife is a productive way of dealing with

it.

the reason women are bullied into things is because they dont feel

empowered enough to challenge and dont know the alternatives.

midwifes have to work with in policies and procedures they may not

always agree with them or feel its the best way but the have to work to

it.

if theres one thing i learnt whilst pregnant it was to read read and read

some more so that i could make informed decisions.
 
I didn't see the petition as being against all midwives personally - I saw it as being against the ones that do bully, and saying that instead of those types, there should be more understanding ones instead.

Seemed reasonable to me.
 
I have signed uit - but put a note in it about the reason why some midwives are so unhappy (which is then passed on to us!) is due to being overworked and underpaid. If there was more funding and therefore more Midwives, they could do their job better and build up relationships with mums-to-be etc.
 
mrsT said:
I have signed uit - but put a note in it about the reason why some midwives are so unhappy (which is then passed on to us!) is due to being overworked and underpaid. If there was more funding and therefore more Midwives, they could do their job better and build up relationships with mums-to-be etc.

well......I don't mean to sound nasty....but they did choose to be midwives in the first place.
A midwife ought to be understanding and caring - if somebody doesn't have those qualities why have they opted to be midwives in the first place?
Did they go into it purely for the money, and then get pissed off when they found out that the pay wasn't all that great? Seems like a poor excuse to me. There is no excuse for being rude and overbearing, no matter how overworked and underpaid they are.
 
exactly,it might be better if you aimed you petition at the system instead

of the midwifes.
 
Nathanmum, it might be the system that means there are not enough midwives around to handle deliveries etc, but it is not the systems fault that midwives fail to inform. During my pregnancy I was never told anything about my notes, about antenatal classes, or about the birth. It is fine saying that there are only one or two, but I belong to a team of midwives (altough I mainly saw two) and was never told anythng I needed to know, and it was my first baby. I know other people in the area with the same experience. My health visitor does tell me things, and was rather shocked that the midwives hadn't.
 
I agree - it's not necessarily the money but they either need to be paid substantially more to compensate for the amount of work they do, or we need to almost double the amount of midwives.
I do agree that some midwives aren't very nice people - but others are just tired of being 'used' (and I do think that word is correct) and even though they are in a job they love - they are hating the conditions.

It's a difficult topic - but we can't tarr all midwives with the same brush
 
mrsT said:
I do agree that some midwives aren't very nice people - but others are just tired of being 'used' (and I do think that word is correct) and even though they are in a job they love - they are hating the conditions.

Still though that's no reason to take it out on the mums-to-be or to be slack and not keep them informed.
They should be complaining to higher authorities for better conditions if they are feeling 'used'.
Treating expectant mothers badly is hardly going to get them better pay.

ETA: just for the record I have no experience of nasty midwives. Disorganised perhaps, definitely disorganised, but all were very pleasant when I had my daughter. There were fewer midwives than there ought to have been, so they had to rush about doing a zillion and one things at once, so I can't blame them for being a little scatty, but they were all very nice and did keep me informed about things. I was lucky.

There's no need for rude unhelpful midwives though, no matter what.
 
thats what i meant by being informed. would you go for an operation

without knowing what it was for, what was gonna happen, what the risks

of it were? if you were diagnosed with a disease would you not want to

know the ins and outs of it? lots of women go into pregnancy and birth

blind and uninformed. midwifes do take some of that blame but i think

mothers should too. why didnt you ask? (thats out of curiosity not

meaning to sound rude)
 
I must say that the midwife who actually looked after me in hospital did a very good job. I am very thankful for her help, although she did leave my examination till I was 5cm gone. I gave birth 3 hours after that. Maybe she didn't expect it to be so quick for a first baby, or maybe she was busy, but I could feel it progressing and was windering why they'd left me when I knew it wouldn't be long..
 
Actually, I did end up asking about the birth options, but that was at about 37 wks because I obviously expected them to tell me. As I later realised (and couldn't really have known before), that does not really give enough time to think about it. I had no idea when antenatal classes were supposed to start, which is why I couldn't ask about them myself. I should have been given this information, or at least it should have been mentioned earlier on as to when it might be discussed. I was left completely in the dark with no light whatsoever..

As for explaining the notes, I found that on here and in other places, otherwise I probably would have asked.
 
xena

i chose to be a nurse and i am sh*t hot at my job. however i am put in

situations that mean i come across as uncaring, when i am being shouted

at for beds by management, ive got an ill patient and realatives

screaming at me it very difficult to be super friendly and informative,this

happens most days. you really dont appreciate what it is like to be a dr,

nurse or midwife in the NHS until you do the job. we are used and used

over and over again and we take it cos we love the job. we do complain

sometimes it works for a few weeks then its back to the same old crap,

thats the NHS. 99% of the people that sign up to do their training are

caring and lovely people but get battered by the system.
 
nathanmum said:
xena

i chose to be a nurse and i am sh*t hot at my job. however i am put in

situations that mean i come across as uncaring, when i am being shouted

at for beds by management, ive got an ill patient and realatives

screaming at me it very difficult to be super friendly and informative,this

happens most days. you really dont appreciate what it is like to be a dr,

nurse or midwife in the NHS until you do the job. we are used and used

over and over again and we take it cos we love the job. we do complain

sometimes it works for a few weeks then its back to the same old crap,

thats the NHS. 99% of the people that sign up to do their training are

caring and lovely people but get battered by the system.

No I don't know what it's like to work for the NHS - I do know what it's like to have to care for somebody and be stressed out though. For 4 years I worked looking after a lady with extreme cerebral palsy. Her mother was the most controlling woman ever, and it took all my instincts not to just snap at her and walk about, but I never took it out on the lady I was caring for though.

Mothers-to-be cannot help it if midwives are underpaid and overworked. They don't deserve to be treated badly.

If you are coming across as uncaring, I suggest you take a deep breath, regain your composure, plant a smile across your face, and rethink your attitude. You chose to be a nurse after all. Being good at your job means being caring and polite to patients, aswell as all the technical stuff.
 
In some cases I guess its relative to the person :think:
When I had Dan there was a young girl who had just had a C-section. She was dangerously obese and because the feeling had not yet returned to her legs she insisted the MW wheel her downstairs for a fag. She laid in bed, shouting her mouth off down her mobile phone about unfairly she was being treated. Against the advice of numerous doctors she discharged herself a few hours later, because the MW's were being mean to her. To her she was treated badly.

Not saying I agree or disagree with the petition, just thought I would share my story!
 
what i meant by coming across as uncaring was that sometimes i have to

do things that patients/relatives can view as uncaring ie moving people

to a different ward cos we need the acute bed even if they dont want to

go. or little things like not being able to rub cream into their legs cos i

just dont have enough staff. its the same for midwifes. when i am under

alot of pressure at work i have to prioritise quickly and effciently if i

have someone that is very unwell i dont have time to sit down with

another patient and talk in depth about why they have a sore elbow??

to them theyre elbow is the most important thing in the world and they

wanna talk about it now, they might veiw that as poor care?

pregnancy and birth is very subjective. what one person veiws as

poor care the other would view as excellent. ie if you were left in labour

for 1 hour i wouldnt mind at all but someone else might think it was awful

and theyd been abandoned.
 
I think some people blame midwives for what happened during their labours when really not all labours go to plan and you need to be prepared for this.

Lots of people have "traumatic" births, birth is a huge traumatic event for your body to go through.

WARNING SHOCKING BIRTH STORY BELOW
My friend had the most horrific labour followed by C-section, worse that ANYTHING I have read on here. To cut a looooong story very short the baby ended up bursting through her womb into her stomach cavity and getting tangled in her intestines, where she promptly pooed!
She doesn't go on about it, it's just one of those things, blaming the midwives and doctors wouldn't help her, or anybody else. She would rather spend her time with her daughter, concentrating on being a good mom. She says that's better than dwelling on the past.
 
Oh dear god Urchin that is terrible
I think your friend has the right I
idea, no point dwelling on things like that, you need to get on and enjoy the end result

I haven't signed as I think it is wrong to tar all midwives with the same brush
My first birth wasn't the best experiance ever but it didn't put me off and I had the best Midwive ever with Jack she was great

All people in all proffesions get stretch to breaking point sometimes and we all have off days, this is what makes us human after all
 
i just want to say i had a great midwife during my first pregnancy and all the midwifes at hospital were good although very busy. i have the same midwife this time which is lovely and am having baby at same hospital. overall my experience was very good :)
 

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