Need to pull myself out of the pit ....

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by marley, Feb 20, 2012.

  1. marley

    marley Well-Known Member

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    Hey girls I posted this in the health section , but it's slightly quieter in there and desperate for some advice, support and guidance.


    ]Ladies I feel like I'm sinking! I've been feeling down for a while my LO is 5 months this coming sunday!

    I feel like my low mood started whilst pregnant... Last January 2011.

    It may have even started a while before in the September 2010. Id started a new job in the September 2010 and was very excited I was on my way to becoming a teacher.

    The day before I started the job
    I found out I was pregnant, being
    Young, a fresh graduate it seemed as though all of my plans had been ruined.

    Furthermore I was in a new relationship with the now, love of my
    Life! I did what seemed like the ultimate sin and got rid of the bay. I feel like since then I have been on an emotional rollercoaster.

    Oh and I went to counseling together to overcome what we did we felt riddled with guilt and we both regretted the decision.

    Fast-forwarding to Dec 2010 oh proposed to me, I willingly accepted and we are now planning our wedding!

    Later January 2011 we decided to ttc. Riddled with guilt we wanted to try and have a baby as we decided we made the wrong decision. We felt that we had placed material emphasis over having a baby. We were both secure and earning good money we felt so sad.

    I fell pregnant that month Jan 2011. I continued with work the physical strain of being sick was unbearable along with the stress of the job. Oh and decided to leave the city and return to my home town.

    Since being back we have moved several times before and after baby, he has started a new business and my mum who was life line up here has been diagnosed with ovarian cancer.

    Sorry to bang on , I just feel like I'm struggling day to day getting
    Myself washed and dressed is such a challenge! I can look after LO and that's about it I'm really stuggling inside.

    I have arranged to go to baby groups and then I don't bother on the day! I've got so much buzzing around in my mind!

    Sometimes I feel like checking myself into a psychiatric ward...

    Doc offered me seteraline but I haven taken any! I've investigated going to the counselor, reflexology and acupuncture.

    My mood is all over the place sometimes I think about running
    Away back to the city , to my old life !

    My oh cooks cleans for me every day! I can't cope I'm sinking and I've forgotten how to swim , balance and manage.

    I can't even bring myself to make a list and that's an old favorite of mine.

    Ladies I need advice , how can I pull myself out of this rut?

    Worst part is I think I have the answers... I just lack the
    Motivation.

    Sorry for the rant and cheers for reading

    Any positive stories advice would be greatly appreciated xxxxx



     
  2. vickib_1984

    vickib_1984 Well-Known Member

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    Hunny have you been back to see your gp??? Or have you thought about possibly having pnd and just needing a lot more support???? Xxxxx


     
  3. marley

    marley Well-Known Member

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    I think I need some emotional support physically I getting support , but emotionally there is no one to turn to.

    Haven't gone back to the docs since she gave me The prescription for setraline..

    I've made an appointment for
    A free counseling service tomorrow and I've enquired about reflexology and acupuncture! Whether I make it is another story xxx


     
  4. titch

    titch Well-Known Member

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    :hug:

    I remember feeling like this and I wasnt going through half of what you are so I cant imagine how much deeper you must feel.

    One of the things that really helped me, was to get out the house without LO. Sounds horrible, but I started doing avon, just in my own street. Id get LO sorted and in bed then pop out for half an hour, Id get invited in and chat to neighbours. Dont get me wrong, I actually couldnt do it some nights, and sometimes I felt stressed that I 'had to' but once I got out there it was fantastic. I felt like myself again.

    Is there any way you could go for a massage, or something like that in a spa for a few hours? Stuff like that always comes on groupon. If someone can have LO that you dont have to rush home for it could be the change of routine that you need to give yourself that little bit of strength to go to those baby groups youve been looking into

    :hug:

    look after yourself, this is a really difficult time for new mums.
     
  5. titch

    titch Well-Known Member

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    I just read that back and I should probably add that FOB was in the house with LO as I wasnt single then, I didnt just go out while he was sleeping :oooo:
     
  6. lewisca

    lewisca Well-Known Member

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    Oh hun sorry u r feeling like this it's sounds like u may have pnd to me too . Maybe going a see Gp again. I suffered with pnd after my first thought I had to b superwoman ! But with some cpn support and meds and of course loving family for support I came through it. U have taken the biggest most important step possible and that's admitting that your feeling overwhelmed. Know u don't feel like it but getting out and about really does help. Can u meet up with a friend for coffee ? Nothing that puts too much pressure on u. Remember we r all here for u too xxx


     
  7. vickib_1984

    vickib_1984 Well-Known Member

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    I hope you manage to go have you spoken to your oh??? Xxx


     
  8. marley

    marley Well-Known Member

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    Thanks titch I feel so much better now I've opened up and acknowledged the truth.

    Oh is having the day off tomorrow and I'm booked into seeing the councillor for a consultation. Positive steps!

    Sorry for all of the typos- clearly my iPhones fault! Xxxx


     
  9. marley

    marley Well-Known Member

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    Thanks lewisca! I was definitely trying to be superwoman but then I crashed and now at the point where I don't get myself washed in the am... Such a dark place to be!

    I've acknowledged that it's Pnd and I'm going to make an attempt to deal with it xxxx

    Just text my friend were going out Sunday !

    Thank you xx


     
  10. marley

    marley Well-Known Member

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    I've just had a d&m with oh!

    We argued tonight , he fully understands and he's going to help me with getting the support I need financially.

    I think that has a lot to do with it, not having as much money and not working I feel like part of my identity has gone.

    He's downstairs washing up the bottles for tomorrow !

    Thanks girls means so much. Xxx


     
  11. lewisca

    lewisca Well-Known Member

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    It is a back place but there is light there !! (that sounds sooo cheesy !!) I have been alot less strict on myself since having my other 2 I concentrate on making sure the kids r looked after and maybe cook evening meal and that's it !! Anything else is a bonus ! And cos I don't feel pressured normally do get a job or 2 done.
    So pleased u have made arrangements ,my mum was the one that dragged me out ! Once a week and we r still doing it 5 yrs on !!
    Hope all goes well tomorrow and keep oh in the loop u would b surprised how helpful that can b sometimes !!! Xxx


     
  12. vickib_1984

    vickib_1984 Well-Known Member

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    Glad you've spoken not argued lol but that he realised you need help I do hope you make your meeting though I think you'll find it will help you and you've recognised that pnd is lurking there big hugs babe xxxx


     
  13. marley

    marley Well-Known Member

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    [/QUOTE]

    Glad you've spoken not argued lol but that he realised you need help I do hope you make your meeting though I think you'll find it will help you and you've recognised that pnd is lurking there big hugs babe xxxx


    [/QUOTE]

    So I put my self to bed at 11 , did go off until oh came up to bed. We usually go to bed together butni think I need to get to be earlier.

    I was still awake at 12, feeling positive. N was in bed at 7 she woke up at 4 for milk so I dragged myself out of bed fed her and put her back down. I said to OH can you feed her at 7:30/8:00 when she wakes for milk (he has the day off today)

    I was hoping for a extra Half an hour as broken sleeps make me feel worse I think. N and oh woke
    At 7:30 what did he do? He went downstairs and watches tv. I asked him to make her a bottle. Hes feeding her now.

    More to the point I feel like it's inconvenienced him. he said yes with a smile, but I feel guilty , like I shouldn't have to ask for help.

    Nonetheless I in a downer mood this morning :( xx


     
  14. BevG

    BevG Well-Known Member

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    men arent naturals at this, you do have to ask them for help or they dont know you need it. i think often they see you doing it and think that since your managing to do it then you dont need the help. they are often quite happy to be asked to help really as they seem needed then :)
     
  15. Jayceesmumma

    Jayceesmumma Well-Known Member

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    :hug: babe u know where I am if u need to talk so sorry I missed this! You've had a huge life change and some really devastating news :( I promise you in time you'll get better.. Defo have a go at councilling.. Even just getting it all out on the forum will help you much more than keeping it inside!
    Rant and ramble away hun it will help! I suffer from depression and have done for years and managed it by myself. Councilling didn't appeal to me neither did meds.. For me, talking is my treatment! If I don't talk I go nuts! I have up days and down days (more down than up) and its not nice.. In glad ur oh is helping out, and no u shouldn't have to ask.. Men don't understand a thing.. I explained to my oh when we first met what I'm like and how to deal with me when I'm really down, it's helped control situations.. Be 100% honest with ur oh at all times and get all your thoughts out.. You'll sleep better!
    I hope u get the help you need to overcome this, stay strong and you'll do it I know u can!!
    :hug:
     
  16. lewisca

    lewisca Well-Known Member

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    Men always have to be asked !! They can't think for themselves ! Hope your day has got better hun like JM has said we r always here can rant away to us xxx


     
  17. marley

    marley Well-Known Member

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    Thanks girls !!

    Bev i know lol he keeps saying too me if u think I should be doing something tell me!!

    Jaycee I'm taking one step and day at a time! Trying not to put too much pressure in myself. For example today , I'm just concentrating on the washing it seems to be working for me.

    I'll be seeing a councillor every Monday - your right, talking just helps so much xxxx


     
  18. Jayceesmumma

    Jayceesmumma Well-Known Member

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    Glad your gonna see someone babe :hug: defo take it slow and steady, too much at once won't help, in time you'll be fine honey.. U know where we are!!! :hug:
     
  19. ForestLas80

    ForestLas80 Well-Known Member

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    So sorry u r feeling down but gr8 u have acknowledged it and seeking help. Really hope the counselling helps as u have been through so much. We r always here for you xxx
     
  20. Jayceesmumma

    Jayceesmumma Well-Known Member

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    How r u feeling today hun?xx
     

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