Need to get it out

[Tmum]

Ok, so I haven’t posted on the forum for a long time. I feel it’s the only place to get this out.
I had 2 children almost 10 and almost 5. I don’t feel done but I’m scared to have a 3rd. I’ll be 32 this year. I’ve just finished a degree and have a lower paid year to do before I become fully qualified.
My minds a muddle.
I’d like another as I’ve 2 boys but obviously cannot pick to have a girl lol.
I’m worried a third would put as at strain financially when we’re finally going to get on our feet. I worry that a potential 11 year gap between my oldest and would be youngest is too large. I don’t know if I should just be grateful for 2 healthy happy boys and enjoy them.
On the other hand I’m scared that I’ll regret not having a third.
Argh! I’m in a pickle. I hope this hasn’t come out all wrong but I’m all in a jumble over it all.

 

[chattychar1990]

I think you need to have a chat with your oh and weigh up the pros and cons. only you can decode what is best for your family unfortunately

 

[Tmum]

I think you need to have a chat with your oh and weigh up the pros and cons. only you can decode what is best for your family unfortunately

aww I know. We’ve been back and fourth about it for a while. I’m struggling with depression atm so I’m not the most rational which isn’t helping. God I sound a mess lol

 

[night owl]

Ha ha you don’t sound a mess, it’s always gonna be a tough decision, I don’t think there’s any right or wrong answer, what does your oh think? Would it be better to wait till your lower paid work year is done?

 

[WinterWolf]

I wouldn't have a baby before becoming fully qualified in my field personally but that's up to you. I will say don't worry about the age gap. I teach 11yr olds and a few of them have had their mums have a new baby. They're usually really excited and keen to help. Even the boys who you would think would have zero interest in a baby They also understand baby needs lots of attention so jealously is less of an issue.

 

[maybebabyno3]

I am pretty much in the same position as you so completely understand where your thoughts are coming from. I am 35 and husband is 40 and have a soon to be 7 year old boy and 4 year old girl. I thought we were done but something has changed since Christmas and I have really started to get broody for a 3rd. I go from extremes of the heart as I feel I want this so much to extremes of the head saying that I should be so thankful with what we have and why would I want to upset all that? It is so very hard. I have had my coil removed and we have decided to have a 6 month trying period from my may period to see what happens, a very scary yet exciting time.

 

[Tmum]

Ha ha you don’t sound a mess, it’s always gonna be a tough decision, I don’t think there’s any right or wrong answer, what does your oh think? Would it be better to wait till your lower paid work year is done?

He would like another but when I ask what he thinks he gives the whole ‘it’s up to you’ speech lol. I think it would be better tbh. I think we’ll have to have a proper chat about it. No time like lockdown lol! Xx

 

[Tmum]

I wouldn't have a baby before becoming fully qualified in my field personally but that's up to you. I will say don't worry about the age gap. I teach 11yr olds and a few of them have had their mums have a new baby. They're usually really excited and keen to help. Even the boys who you would think would have zero interest in a baby They also understand baby needs lots of attention so jealously is less of an issue.

My eldest won’t get jealous, bless him he’s great. It’s the youngest who is my sticking plaster and even more so recently with us all being at home. I think a proper chat with hubby is in order lol xx

 

[Tmum]

I am pretty much in the same position as you so completely understand where your thoughts are coming from. I am 35 and husband is 40 and have a soon to be 7 year old boy and 4 year old girl. I thought we were done but something has changed since Christmas and I have really started to get broody for a 3rd. I go from extremes of the heart as I feel I want this so much to extremes of the head saying that I should be so thankful with what we have and why would I want to upset all that? It is so very hard. I have had my coil removed and we have decided to have a 6 month trying period from my may period to see what happens, a very scary yet exciting time.

I am pretty much in the same position as you so completely understand where your thoughts are coming from. I am 35 and husband is 40 and have a soon to be 7 year old boy and 4 year old girl. I thought we were done but something has changed since Christmas and I have really started to get broody for a 3rd. I go from extremes of the heart as I feel I want this so much to extremes of the head saying that I should be so thankful with what we have and why would I want to upset all that? It is so very hard. I have had my coil removed and we have decided to have a 6 month trying period from my may period to see what happens, a very scary yet exciting time.

Aww the emotions are like a seesaw that I can’t control. It is def scary but so exciting for you!!! Good luck xx

 

[Donna88]

I have two with a 10 and a half year age gap, I was worried about the gap but he was so excited and is an amazing big brother.

We want another one so there will be an even bigger gap between him and the next