Need some reassurance I'm not useless.

Discussion in 'Third Trimester' started by roxyroo, Jun 27, 2013.

  1. roxyroo

    roxyroo Well-Known Member

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    Hey ladies, been feeling propper down for about a week now since I got a bad cold just generally didn't feel great which I know can make you down but I feel so depressed and guilty that I'm tired all the time and I can't do things. I haven't been to work this week so far as I've had this cold and not sleeping properly. So I feel guilty about not being at work, letting my boss's (that don't actually care about me) down. We have the whole house to pretty much re-decorate after having loads of work done but I just can't do it.. physically can't and the things that I can do I can't mentally get myself up and doing things. I feel like shit nearly everyday with feeling sick or some other pregnancy related complaint. I just wish I were one of the strong one's like many of you ladies are and just get on with it.
    My husband keeps telling me it's ok but if I don't work I don't get paid so I feel guilty now that I'm not contributing enough :( I'm so fed up with myself I just don't know what to do. :( x
     
  2. k8_005

    k8_005 Well-Known Member

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    Firstly you need to take a deep breath you are growing a human a real live human inside you and it's ok that's a pretty good job to be doing I'd say! Feeling tiered is Normal mayb see if you can go to work and reduce your hours or work type/load do you have any annual leave to use up maybe shorten your week using these to make it more managable I was basically doing 3 or 4 day week's towards the end. Also remember it does help to do some slightly light excersise so maybe a little walk 15mins maybe or a swim don't do anything strenuous though also in terms of feeling ill with a cold buy some ribena and have that made up with hot water and honey and take some paracetamol. Try to rest when you feel blergh and forget the decorating ask friends to come round for a paint brush party. They bring paint brushes u provide paint and nibbles they do free labour. It helps you out and can be quite fun to have everyone over.
    Most of all don't worry you are in third tri is normal to feel lathargic xxx
     
  3. k8_005

    k8_005 Well-Known Member

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    Also have you had your iron levels checked as this can also make u feel extra tierd x
     
  4. roxyroo

    roxyroo Well-Known Member

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    Thanks a lot, I just feel like I should get over myself and carry on but when I feel so rubbish I just don't want to. I seem to have lost my bounce back ability, normally I would just go to work anyway and deal with feeling crappy later. I only work 6 hours a day as it is anyway, partly why I feel so f*cking useless. I just keep hearing about all these amazing ladies that worked full time right up to 38 weeks etc and I can't even seem to get a good nights sleep and work 6 hours a day :( x
     
  5. k8_005

    k8_005 Well-Known Member

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    Everyone is different and you can only go by what is right for u xxx
     
  6. umbongo

    umbongo Well-Known Member

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    I could have written that post hun, except we only have one room to decorate. I'm off with with a cold feeling crap and also feel useless!! Got myself all upset yesterday and this morning about it. My hubby says it's fine too but I just feel crap at being pregnant!!

    As long as our babies are doing well then we shouldn't worry hun, everyone has different limits and different pregnancies. My friend keeps telling me to listen to my body and to rest when I need to etc. We need to try not to feel guilty. I was so active and quite fit before but my spd has stopped me even going for walks which sucks!! But I need to get over it. More important to look after yourself and baby. You're not useless hun xxxxxx
     
  7. Bubbles1987

    Bubbles1987 Well-Known Member

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    I've been feeling exactly the same as been off week with spd and now going to on maternity earlier (33 instead of 38 weeks) and its hard to listen when people say you and baby are most important but we really are. Let others do stuff for you for change and my oh always says we are doing work every day of every minute cause we are growing a little baby. I know how you feel but hope you feel better soon and just keep thinking about when you are holding the little baby you have been caring for 9 months :) xxx
     
  8. SpinSugar

    SpinSugar Well-Known Member

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    Growing a baby is hard work. And everyone is different. Some breeze through, some are really ill, you can't put youself down just because you are feeling poorly.

    If men carried babies mat leave would start at the positive pregnancy test! :p

    I hope you are feeling a bit better today

    Xx
     
  9. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

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    Don't compare yourself to other pregnant women - every woman and every pregnancy is different. I've been extremely lucky and have had (so far!) a pretty easy pregnancy and count myself very lucky. The few days that I have been ill I've felt absolutely dreadful and not able to function properly so I can't imagine how it must feel to be suffering like that all the time.

    I love K8's idea of the paintbrush party! People are usually up for things like that anyway (dangle the carrot of free nibbles and drink and few people will turn that down!), but if you let them know just what a massive help it will be to you I'm sure they'll be even more keen to help. I'm sure your friends and family hate seeing you suffer so much and probably feel very helpless - giving them something to do will make them feel as though they're being useful so really you're doing them a favour ;-)

    x
     
  10. roxyroo

    roxyroo Well-Known Member

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    Thanks a lot ladies, it really means a lot, there is such a different kind of reassurance from ladies that are going through the same thing than when my husband tells me it's ok. I'm feeling a bit more positive today, did some tidying up etc and decided to right this week off completely and have a nice weekend and start a fresh next week. Thanks a lot ladies for all your support xxx
     
  11. Allinaday

    Allinaday Well-Known Member

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    Sounds like you need to take care of yourself and not worry about what others think. You come first because you're carrying a baby! One ting that has helped me more than anything else with my pregnancy is juicing fresh juice. Thoroughly wash your fruits and veggies and juice them! Pasteurized juices don't have any nutritional value, and if there are any vitamins in there they have been added back.

    If you juice your stuff fresh you get those vitamins and nutrients and they immediately go to your system and start replenishing you. It will help every aspect from body aches, your cold, to even lifting your mood! I juice half fruit and half veggie, these are awesome for nutrition for you and the baby:
    Oranges, apples, kiwi, strawberries, cantaloupe, pears...
    Kale (super food), spinach, cucumber, broccoli, carrots.....

    i like to juice enough to last for more than one juice for the day. That way you are only pulling out your juicer once a day. ; ) Take care of yourself!
     
  12. k8_005

    k8_005 Well-Known Member

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    Funny you say that I always found when I was really having a low energy day jucing up stuff or having a fruit booster from a coffee shop really made all the difference in energy I guess that is why! I might juice tommo myself so I have some I'm also thinkin I can freeze n make my own ice lollys. Great tip!!!
     
  13. Allinaday

    Allinaday Well-Known Member

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    I hope that helps! Also a cucumber will give you lots of energy (like coffee) with no crash! :smug:
     

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